Here Am I

New Blog

2011-12-30T16:30:00.000-07:00

Hello All-- I've moved to another blog location. You can find updates from my at my new address at: www.julenetegerstrand.wordpress.com

May you have a great New Year!

Julene

2010 NNU LEAD

2010-08-26T20:57:00.002-06:00

Another school year is beginning at NNU. I have just finished my second LEAD retreat. Really? School is starting again? Ready or not! About 150 students and staff went to Trinity Pines up in Cascade, Idaho. We had a blast. One of the highlights, I think, were the Ignite Presentations. (5 minute presentations with a 20 slide powerpoint). The students had opportunity to engage with each other after hearing a thought provoking and very short talk. The picture above is this years group of "Life Group Leaders". They will each be leading a "Life Group" on a wing in the freshman dorms. Tonight we ate dinner at the Schandorff's. This summer Gene built his grandkids a tree house. And of course we had to play too!

Nampa Again

2010-08-06T06:27:00.001-06:00

Aug 4 and 5

Travel was uneventful today minus one thing. I somehow lost my cell phone. Bummer. It was in my jacket on the plane and all I can guess is that it fell out when I got into it for my earplugs and facemask. So I returned home phone-less. Checked with the airline in Amsterdam but nothing came of it.

When our team got to Amsterdam the guys enjoyed McDonalds. We found comfortable places to rest for a while. When we were ready to walk again we found Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream. This was what I was holding out for. Go ahead and have your Egg McMuffin, guys! I want Ben and Jerry’s. Ice Cream is its own food group in my book and I hadn’t had any for more than 3 weeks. Let me tell you….it was worth the wait.

No surprises…the flight out of Amsterdam had enough fuel. Trevor, Carrie and I said our goodbyes to Grant who was to board a different plane home to KC. Our flight to Portland was long and uneventful. When we got off the plane in Portland I put up my hands in celebration, “We are in the USA”. It is no small thing to be Stateside.

All in all the trip took about 35 hours. It is a very long journey but when I’m reminded that years ago the tip took months and months ….35 hours isn’t that bad. My new roommate picked me up at the airport in Boise and I was on my way to my own bed.

I slept until 4pm on Thursday! 17 hours of shut eye….now that is something! I’m home. I’m grateful for the adventures of the past 24 days and grateful for a few days to rest before starting back to work (and a new school year).

Kampala: Tuesday Aug 3

2010-08-06T06:23:00.000-06:00

August 3

We spent our last day in Uganda with Pastor Wilson. After our last breakfast at Namirembe we went to a Ugandan Mall called Garden City. For us it was like stepping into a different world. Our visit to Garden City marks our first step back into the west.

We chatted with Pastor Wilson over lunch about the priority projects he sees coming in the future. We’ve been talking with Wilson about projects that will support the school ministry from multiple different angles. For instance if the school had a van/bus Wilson would be able to pick up students who currently live too far to access the school. Parents would pay fees for their child to use the bus. Also a bus/van could be used to bring in extra income when not being used for students. We are hoping to find revenue making projects for Wilson and the school. The school is in need of finishing off a P6 and P7 classroom. Right now the school doesn’t have a P6 class. However, in January when P5 advances to P6 there will be need of a classroom.

There are many things that we talked about but my favorite part of our final gathering with Pastor Wilson was the time we took to share prayer requests. After each member of our team shared something Wilson told a story about something similar in his own life. It was his way of saying, “I am trying to relate to you and now I know how to pray for you.” When we finished sharing Pastor Wilson prayed for us. I loved his prayers for us. For each of us he prayed that God would work in our lives in such a way that we’d have opportunity to give testimony to how God had answered our prayers. I remember being in Ukraike this summer and being really moved by the testimonies of God’s transforming power in people. As I’ve been in Africa I have heard people give witness to the miracle of the incarnation. So of course it would be the prayer of Pastor Wilson that we too could offer testimony to God’s goodness in our lives now and in the future. God is alive and working!

Wilson left us to go home, run some errands, and fetch Grace so that he and Grace could meet us at the airport. We all wanted to get cleaned up before taking the airport shuttle. Even though our flight was to leave at 10pm we had to leave the guesthouse at 5pm. Because security has been so tight since the bombings last month we expected it could take 90 minutes just to get into the airport compound. It wasn’t that bad although they did have us exit the car to check our persons. (but they didn’t check the van…go figure) We arrived at the airport at 6pm and waited for Wilson and Grace to arrive so we could say our final “see you next time”. What great friends they are. Tonight he and Grace took 3 modes of transportation just to get to us. Our team laughed some as we talked together about the flight experience. Wilson asked if we could role down the windows on the plane. We’ve talked some about how great it would be for Wilson to come to the USA for a visit. And we’ve known that this would be quite the shocking experience for him. His questions about the flight experience reminded us that he has no context for knowing about international travel. We said our goodbyes, sadly, and began the long process of getting to our gate.

“Nothing is easy in Africa.” This has been my slogan for the last 21 days. And it proved true to the very, very end. As we entered onto the bridge to the KLM airplane I said to Grant, “We are crossing the bridge into “The West”. I was right, mostly. However, when it was feeling like we should be going the captain got on the loud speaker to inform us that there wasn’t enough fuel. He said he was negotiating with the grounds people for the fuel we needed to make it to Amsterdam. He wasn’t sure if we’d get it. “Nothing is easy in Africa.” I’ve never had that experience…. I just assume that when I’ve booked a flight, and boarded a flight, that we will have fuel. Nope. Not tonight anyways! I’m so grateful that on this night it worked out for us and we were able to get the fuel needed to make it all the way to Amsterdam.

Katale: Monday August 2

2010-08-02T11:25:00.004-06:00

August 2

Today was our last day at the school. We didn’t spend a whole lot of time there. Wilson had a job to do this morning and our team needed to finish up some work that we were doing for the school. It worked out best for us to be picked up late. I was so happy! I had a lazy morning. AH…. It is amazing how a little more sleep than normal changes how I feel about leaving Uganda. We were not picked up today until 1:15pm. We went to the school for a celebration lunch. Grace, Wilson’s wife, made an huge lunch for us. My favorite was there too…chapati. It was really good to share a meal with the teachers and to give each other words of thanks and encouragement. Our team went to each class and told the students goodbye. Carrie and I were tearing up when we walked into the oldest class. One of the girls we especially connected with had tears in her eyes. She is the one who really took to using my camera. I really do not like goodbyes. However, it was such a good thing for us and for the students. It was nice to be able to tell the kids how much fun we had with them and how impressed we are with how they are studying. Saying goodbye definitely put a hope in my heart for a return trip. It was a really great thing to spend a whole week with the kids. They had enough time with us to act like the were comfortable with us.

After we left the church Pastor Wilson took us to another village. It is a village near a very large tea planatation. I thought that we had seen poverty in Katale. However, as we walked in the village on our way to visit the church that Wilson has planted we saw a new degree of struggle. The water source was pretty rugged... Here we saw kids who are clearly malnourished. For the most part we’ve seen kids who had clothes and have had shoes. However, in this village there were kids without clothes or without “proper” clothing. Wilson explained that in this village the people are expericening struggle to even grow their own food. There seems to be something wrong with the soil. We wondered if the tea plantation is using chemicals that are running into the surrounding lands. It wouldn’t be a huge surprise. Trevor commented that this probably happens all over Africa. Yet here we were seeing the potential scenario in front of our eyes. The tea plantation pays people seventy cents a day to pick tea leaves. Can you imagine working in the hot sun all day to earn seventy cents? And then you can not even grow your own food? It was good to learn about another area that Pastor Wilson is ministering in. As we drove away from the church we kept on passing people Wilson knows. He is so well connected in his community.

Before Wilson returned us to the guesthouse we visited a guesthouse that is closer to his village. Like the Namirembe Guesthouse we’ve been staying at in Kampala this guesthouse is also run by the Church of England. However, this one is so much cheaper. If we have another team come back to work with Wilson we’ll have the team stay there. It would be a great space for students!

It has been a good day…. Tomorrow is our last and in the evening we plan to fly out. AH…it is time, it is time.

Katale: Sunday August 1

2010-08-02T02:43:00.002-06:00

8-01-10

Sunday…. We started off the morning wondering where Pastor Wilson was, if all was well, etc. We reminded each other that we were on “Africa Time”. Wilson arrived at about 10:45am to fetch us. It was nice to have a slow morning where we could get some rest. Church was in full session when we arrived; you could hear the singing from the road as we arrived to the service. Wilson prepared special seats for us at the front. Not long after we arrived we learned that “Sunday school” was just finishing. It was when we arrived that the church service “officially” began. Dancing, dancing, dancing…it is how “we” worship while we are in Uganda. There was a ton of joy in the service as the people sang and danced. The kids did a special song and dance during the offering time. Some of students from the God is Good School go to the church (or were there yesterday to be with us). A few of the students were unrecognizable without being in a school uniform. Several of them received haircuts over the weekend.

A few days ago Pastor Wilson asked if someone in our group could preach in the Sunday service. As a team we decided to combine our efforts so that the church could hear from more of us. I preached on the “burning bush” text from Exodus 3. “You have to look and notice where God is working.“ It was so much fun to get to preach. I've preached with a translator before. I had to keep reminding myself to not talk over Pastor Wilson. Trevor then continued with “once we notice we need to partner with God”. Trevor shared from the David and Goliath text; David did his part by taking as many stones as he could. Grant then added, “it may be difficult to follow God’s voice when he calls us.” He shared how God called his whole family to move to Kansas City this year so he could begin seminary. It was really fun for the whole group to share. The church really appreciated hearing for our 3 voices too.

After church Grant drove us to Pastor Wilson’s home. He is becoming a pro at Uganda driving. Watch out Uganda! We ate lunch and then Pastor Wilson showed us his new sewing machines. This is exciting because these sewing machines will be income generating for Wilson’s family and the school. There is a lady in the village who is contracting with Wilson to use the machines. The students at the God is Good school will now be able to save money on buying uniforms. Hopefully now there will be a true “uniform” dress.

From Wilson’s home we went off to a very special event. A friend and mentor of Wilson’s invited all of us to a Dowry ceremony or “introduction”. Grace ironed and prepared beautiful Ugandan outfits for the girls. She dressed Julene and Carrie right before we left Wilson’s home. The dresses were beautiful!! When we arrived at the ceremony the girls got looks of appreciation and surprise. The group was escorted to the front where we had couches awaiting us. It was a wonderful experience to be able to witness such a unique aspect of the Ugandan culture. Wilson had informed us that these ceremonies can go on for hours so our plan was to watch for a time and then slip out. It was obvious that this was not going to happen once we were put in the front row. However, our involvement did not end there. About half way through the ceremony they introduced distinguished guests of which we were now a part. Julene and Carrie were introduced as the father of the bride’s “daughters from America” and he commented on their dress. Trevor was also introduced and they pointed out that Carrie and Trevor were married. They were given quite a round of applause. Then Grant was introduced as the director of a GAP, a large company in America. Not sure where they got the large company part. We sat and watched the remainder of the ceremony and once they were done with the cake did Wilson say it was probably okay if we left. The people were still down by the cake so Grant asked Wilson to wait until they were done so that we did not draw attention away from them while leaving. It was a good thing that we didn’t leave because just a minute later, Grant was invited to come and give a speech to the 500 people that were there! Wilson came down as Grant’s interpreter. On the way down Wilson suggested that he begin by apologizing for not being in the traditional attire, which of course he did. Grant commented on how beautiful the ceremony was and thanked the father for the wonderful opportunity he gave our group to witness this piece of Ugandan culture. Grant finished by saying “Thank you, Sir” in Luganda which the crowd seemed to appreciate (with giggles). By Ugandan standards, it probably was not long enough to be considered an actual speech, but Wilson said it was good and brought much honor to the father. Wilson now jokes that Grant is Ugandan since he has driven in Kampala, ridden on a boda-boda, and has given a speech at a dowryJ All in all, we were there for 3 hours. Though we were glad for the experience, we were also glad when Wilson suggested that we not stay for dinner.

Kampala: Saturday July 31

2010-07-31T06:46:00.004-06:00

Last February I went to the CCCU International Forum in Atlanta, Georgia. While I was there I met Dr.Hamlet Mbabazi Kabushenga. He is a Ugandan and has served a couple of terms in parliment and worked as a chaplain there. He is working on developing the Great Lakes College. Back in February I knew I'd be coming to Kampapa so we exhanged information in hopes of my meeting each other here. This morning I met up with him. It was very cool to meet first in Georgia and then in Kampala.

I joined Dr. Hamlet at a symposium he hosted at a local college chapel. Dr. Hamlet is working to develop business opportunities for people. He has started several cooperatives in areas around the country. I've heard a lot about cooperatives on this trip. THey are ways for many people in a community to pool together enough resources to develop income and support. Dr. Hamlet brought people together today to explore 2 new opportunities of business. One of the opportunities has to do with bio-fuel. Dr. Hamlet is connecting business with mission. Even today as he talked he talked about how there business ventures are to support the community as well as others.

On the way to the symposium the driver sent for me informed me that I'd be speaking at the meeting. Surprise, surprise! Of course I would be. Dr. Hamlet asked that I share something about mission. I did my best. After the symposium ended we had lunch. I was able to talk to several women who are tkaing part in these cooperatives. There were 3 recent graduates from a local university. They explained that most university graduates are really struggling to find jobs. I thought to myself that it sounds like the USA. However, here it is much worse. So they are hoping to learn about ways they can join together to create income. All week we've been with primary school kids and focusing on how hard it is for them to be in school and stay in school. Today I got a view of how even the "lucky" ones who are able to afford university struggle to find their way.

Our team has 3 more days until we return home.Tomorrow we'll be at Pastor Wilson's church. I'm preaching. All of us are going to share something. We leave on Tuesday night here. I am ready to return home. This morning when I woke up I really felt it. I'm ready to go home. I'm dreaming of Ben and Jerry's, my own bed, food I'm familiar with (and less of it...that is odd...considering where I've been), wash machines and toilets. I'm tired of feeling dirty! ; ) Whenever I come to a place like Uganda I'm always reminded of how nice it is to live in a developed country. I'm looking forward to being back in the familiar and comfortable...not going to lie! : )

2010-07-30T13:47:00.005-06:00

Today at God is Good School we had the afternoon for games. The teachers do sports with the kids on Fridays and today there were some really fun games to watch. Sack races were a hit. They played "fill the soda bottle with water". There was an egg eating contest (no hands allowed). They ended with a matoke (banana) pealing contest. I loved photographing today's events. And at the end of the day when most of the kids had gone home the P5 girls had their chance to take more photo's with my camera. It has been fun to share the photo fun with them. I'm going to let the photos speak or themselves today.

We did make chapati too. It wasn't what we were hoping for. We were hoping to make it and then get to eat it too. In the end the team was glad not to eat it because we were thinking that we might get sick if we ate it. We made it with really rugged supplies and tools. Hey, it was an experience and we had a lot of fun hanging with the teachers.

You can catch up on our team's activities at http://www.gappartners.org/

Katale: Thursday July 29

2010-07-29T13:01:00.004-06:00

July 29

Our team came “home” tonight and every one of us felt fatigued. It has been an incredible week but we are dragging today. We still had a great day!! Our day was great but it was tonight that blew me(us) away. Tonight I couldn't help but know that we had a divine appointment.

Back in 2007 I was at the Amahoro Conference and met some really great people. I’ve been meeting up with people on this trip from that conference. Tonight I met up with Kennedy Kurui who works with Kampala International University as a pastor. He is an alumni of the University and he is Kenyan. Since before he graduated he has been working with the students. First he started a fellowship of Kenyans. It then turned into a fellowship of students from many countries all over the Great Lakes Region. Now this "fellowship" is a church and the University consults Kennedy on issues pertaining to student life. Officially he doesn't work for the University but he pastors a University student church and the church meets on campus 3 times a week. I visited his church and hung out in the dorms with some of his students back in 2007. I was really hoping to reconnect with him. I was hoping to introduce our team to him because he has a great story and is doing wonderful ministry.

I introduced the team to Kennedy and we were having the kind of conversation that you’d expect. Where are you from….. What do you do…. How did you start doing what you are doing…. I had told Kennedy that we were working with a Pastor in Katale. Yet as we talked with him as a team he asked us, “How is the pastor you are working with?” We said, “Pastor Wilson”. He said, “Is that Pastor Wilson who works at the African Gospel Church?” “It is,” we replied. We talked more and it also came out that Kennedy knows Swanee and Karen Schwanz too. (Swanee and Karen were missionaries in Kenya and Uganda and they are the ones who have connected all of us to GAP and to Wilson). Kennedy talked about being invited into the Swanee and Karen’s home. I think all of us were floored by the serendipity. Can I hear a round of “It is a small world afterall”? Crazy good!

One of the things the team has been talking with Wilson about is a future project which would support orphans in Katale. Kennedy had mentioned that he was working to develop a community home for 40 orphans currently. As we talked about this he told us about a ministry that is out on an island on Lake Victoria. It is called, “Africa Renewal Ministry”. They have some 117 orphans that live in community. They have a school and a health clinic. Kennedy is good friends with the director of the organization. As it turns out that director was in my small group at the 2007 Amahoro Conference and I’ve been to this ministry he spoke of. Kennedy said that this is the ministry that is the one to pattern after. Many smaller organizations are looking to this ministry for help. Unfortunately we do not have time to go out and see it this trip. However, because Kennedy knows Wilson we are hoping that he will take Wilson out to meet the director and see how they are organized. This could be a really significant connection for Wilson and GAP. Tonight I'm smiliing wide at God's very cool oversight in tonights meeting.

We were all very encouraged by Kennedy. He doesn’t know us well but he wanted us to know how important it was that we were here and that we were building relationships.

The rest of the day today we hung out at the school. Trevor and Grant continued to work with individual students to assess their developmental needs. Carrie and I again joined the classrooms and took turns “teaching”. It was so much fun. The kids have really warmed up to us. The teachers commented today how much the kids are enjoying our presence. They have really enjoyed us sharing about our families, our lives, and about how the USA is the same and different to their home here in Uganda. Today Carrie and I were in the classes that the head mistress overseas. The head mistress had so many questions about the USA. I laughed too because as we taught in English she would then “translate” what we said to the kids in her English. They heard our lessons in American English and in Ugandan English. : )

I was in the oldest kids classroom today. There are only 6 kids in "P5". I showed each of them how to use my camera. They each took turns taking pictures of mostly Carrie and their teacher. It was fun to watch them and I could tell this was something very special for them to do. Later during the break FLourence, the tallest girl in the class asked if she could take a photo of her class outside with me. I agreed (hoping this wouldn't cause a problem...all the kids begging, etc). She did a great job. And several of the other P5 girls came up to ask. Yes, the other little kids asked too but I decided to make it just an older kid priveledge.

Carrie and I got into interesting conversations today with the teachers. It seems that they too are warming up. They were never “cold” with us to begin with. However, their questions are getting more personal. Today we had a whole conversation about family planning in the USA. They have wondered how it is that in the USA we have so few kids or even no kids. Here they are expected “to produce”. They use the term “produce” to have kids and I guess since there isn’t much family planning and families are huge having babies is “producing”.

We got into a very difficult conversation today. The teachers wanted to know how much it costs for a flight to come to Uganda. We told them and their reactions were disbelief. After our many conversations this week I understand how far that amount of money could take someone here. It is crazy! The teachers were amazed by the cost. Grant was over hearing our conversation and was able to interject something that was really important for the teachers to hear. He mentioned that about 100 people helped our team come to Uganda. I think it was really helpful for the teachers to realize that we have not come by our own means. It was good for them to hear that others made it possible for us to be here. So if you happen to be reading this and you are someone who is praying or if you are someone who has supported financially, I can’t tell you how important you were for us today! You possible helped us to build some integrity with the teachers. So thanks! It is important for the school to know that we are not here without a huge community that is supporting us. And it is good for them to know that there is a huge community behind them supporting them.

At the break times I had a great time with the kids. The boys played soccer. The girls were playing a game in the dirt. They were singing a song and each of the girls in the game had a rock. They would move their rock around the circle passing it to the girl next to them. Of course I didn’t know what they were singing about. However, there was one word I’ve come to know very well. “Muzungu” They were singing about a Muzungu. I wanted to know what the song meant. I just wanted for a while. I asked one of the teachers, “Can you tell me what they are singing?” She listened and then said, “The song is about the Muzungus’ who came all over Uganda to telling people about the Gospel.” As the girls moved the rocks around the circle it was like they were moving the Muzungu’s all around Uganda. What an interesting game they were playing.

Tomorrow the team is going to be involved in the school chapel. We are also going to be taught how to make chapatti. I LOVE chapatti. I’m so excited to see how it is made. I hope to take good notes so that I can make it at home.

Katale: Wednesday July28

2010-07-28T09:02:00.001-06:00

Wednesday….this week is moving very fast. We were at the school today by 9am. Our week is so much about building relationships. It means so much for us to just be with the teachers, the students and the school. We heard today that the kids are going home and telling great stories about the white people who are at their school this week. The kids have not wanted to leave the school. Just our presence alone is making an impact on the community.

Today Carrie and I took time to be in the classroom. We did some teaching today. I just did a simple lesson about my family. Carrie, who is the “real” teacher, created some wonderful posters and told the kids all about American culture. She shared about simple American foods, transport and insects. Several times students commented, “You have that there too?” It has been so cool for the kids to realize that in a far of land, America, that we have some of the same things! Something is happening this week. As I’ve been sitting in the classroom it is helping me to see the kids as students rather than as kids who live in poverty. These kids are just like the kids in the USA! And with opportunity to learn, like they are receiving currently, they could do very well. Also the kids are seeing that we white people are not all that different from them too.

I keep on telling the members of our team, “I can not imagine living here.” I must say that Kampala is one of the dirtiest places I’ve visited. There are very rugged roads. Even the paved roads have huge potholes. Ok, so when I complain about the roads in Nampa, and how they are horrible for cycling, I need to remind myself (or be reminded) of Kampala! It just makes me wonder how a city that seems to have such great resources can be so poorly taken care of!!

While Carrie and I were working in the classrooms the guys, Grant and Trevor, were putting individual students out of classes to assess them. Grant works with kids who have dissabilities in the USA. He is going to help Pastor Wilson and the teachers know how to help those in the school who are a little slower at learning.

Together we are learning something about how the culture here deals with the slow or disabled. We’ve heard stories of kids getting beat because they are not learning fast enough. Some of the kids at the school have been kicked out of other schools because of their learning ability. It is pretty cool that Trevor is here and able to help encourage and educate the teachers on some simple things they can do to help these students. What an encouragement Wilson can be to the parents and community to say that “at this school we will love your kids and make a place for them”. Wilson is already doing that and this will only help him more.

At break time one of the teachers brought a piece of paper from her studies. I think it was from the studies she has done in the past. She had a class on religious education. So she was “testing” me on my knowledge of the Bible. I found myself able to answer many things to her approval but not everything. It was fun for both of us. “Tell me the significance of the prologue of John’s gospel.” “Tell me why the Passover is significant in the New Testament.” “What is discipleship in Mark’s gospel.” Wow. I admit I never expected to be having this kind of conversation in Katale, Uganda. I loved it.

After lunch Carrie and I helped one of the teachers with her grading. It is the same teacher that “quizzed” me about the Bible at break time. We finished pretty quickly and then just had the chance to hear her story. For 8 years she worked as a maid. Actually the way she described her experiences she was a slave. She was able to further her education because of the perseverance she had and the work she did. Carrie and I listened with amazement. How could one treat another human being as “nothing”? Also how could one take it for 8 years? In this conversation I also got a better idea of how much it costs to go to school. Wow, it isn’t that much compared to western standards. But for here I can see that most will never be able to afford it. I felt so encouraged today by the teachers story and how she relied for 8 years on God. She didn’t persevere because she had it in her alone. She gave witness to how God helped her.

Katale: Tuesday July 27

2010-07-27T11:46:00.003-06:00

We spent our second day at the "God is Good School". We visited the last of the seven classes today. It is cool to see how similar little kids are here to the kids in the USA. These kids are studying similar things. Today one of the classes was studing how to calculate the radius and diameter of a circle. Another class was learning words that begin with "S" and "T". Carrie, who is on our team, is a teacher in the USA and her perspective has been helpful to us. She keeps on telling us about how familiar the kids feel and how familiar the teaching is.

Today at break time I was swarmed by kids. I'm sure my big camera and "cool" sunglasses drew them to me. The kids like to see their photos after I capture them. ANd they like seeing their reflectionYeah, it probably wasn't that I was one of the few Muzungu's on campus and that I'm tall. : ) The kids found great fascination with my feet. They spent some time "petting" them. At the same time kids were patting my rear end. They fought for a piece of my hand. It was fun for a while but one of my teammates rescued me just about the time I was feeling a bit overwhelmed.

The classes were fun. We got a chance to help teach today. The teachers had us help with English speaking. The kids again seemed really comfortable with us in their classes. Tomorrow Carrie and I are going to spend time actually teaching the kids. I’m going to share more than teach. I’ll get to share about my family and life with three classes tomorrow. I must say that it is nice to have the chance to be with the kids for several days so that they get to know us and we get to know them.

After school we spent time just talking with Pastor Wilson. What an incredible man. I'm impressed by his humble spirit and his passion for his community and God. Wilson shared a bit today about his story. He was a child soldier. And while he didn’t go into this very much what I found interesting is that he was working for the army that supported the RPF (of Rwanda). In my mind it was those who confronted the Hutus that were the “heroes” of the 1994 Genocide. (as much as there can be a “hero” during any war) Yet it sounds like even that side of the army practiced great injustices. Children in the army?! How horrible. Pastor Wilson has been through a ton and the way God has been involved in his life and those around him was really great to hear today. At one point all of us listened with teary eyes. It was a good day!

Before Wilson dropped us off at the guesthouse he took us around the village and showed us the spectacular views of the city. We drove up to the top of the “mountain” right above where the village of Katale is. There are some huge homes being built. Even out in the village there is the rich and the poor living next door to each other.

Katele: Monday July 26

2010-07-26T09:49:00.006-06:00

July 26

From here on out you can click on the link below to get updates from the GAP Team as well as my blog updates.

www.gappartners.org

Today Grant, Trevor, Kerri and I headed to the "God is Good" School. Before making it to the school we needed to exchange money. The traffic in Kampala is horrible in the morning. Pastor Wilson parked his car and we walked into the center of town. 4 Muzungo's waking single file on the city streets....I'm sure no one noticed us. I've never walked in town before here. It is an experience that is hard to describe unless you've been here. At one point we were looking down from a top a hill and I could just see swarms of people and cars. This is a dirty place...one of the dirtiest I've seen. The traffic seems to the inexperienced eye to have no order. I've just not been here long enough, I imagine, to figure out the order. We arrived at the Forex exchange before it was open. Of course we did. Luckily we didn't have to wait long. We then trekked back to the car an headed to the school.

We had a great day at the school today. There are 7 classrooms and today we got to sit on three of them. We had a blast just watching the kids and teachers. We are all really impressed by what we are seeing. I am enjoying the fact that we can understand the language. English is the language of teaching! I was surprised by how good the kids were with such distractions sitting in their classrooms--us!

After lunch the kids put on a wonderful series of performances to welcome us officially into their school. It was just adorable. They had a group of dancers and as it was ending Trevor Hall suggested I go out there and dance with them. SO I did. The kids erupted with excitement. I'm sure I looked silly but hey...we enjoyed it.

It is good to be with people I know and to be talking together about what we we've been seeing here today. Tomorrow we plan to continue to visit the kids in their classrooms.

Kigali/Kampala: Sunday July 25

2010-07-25T09:37:00.001-06:00

July 25

Before I left Philbert’s home I had one last meal with he and Sophie. Last night Philbert had said, “If you have any questions for me tomorrow make sure you ask them.” He was commenting on how quiet I was at dinner. I’ve had a few long days and was really tired by late evening! This morning we had a wonderful conversation. Even though I was not in church I felt as if we were having a service. I am dreaming of coming back to Rwanda. There is still so much to learn. Bakke University is going to send a class here next October and he told me more about what that is going to be. How cool would it be to take a class on forgiveness and reconciliation in Rwanda? It is one thing to read about such things in books. However, it is something totally different to be here learning from practitioners. They don’t just talk about forgiveness and reconciliation. Here some are living it out and facilitating a process for others to live it too. Philbert regretted not getting to spend more time in conversation with me this week. And sure I would have loved to take more of his time. However, just being around him and the people he works with has been my teacher.

This morning I asked him to tell me more about the process he goes through when he does a workshop. I’ve been curious about the “how” of reconciliation. As he described what he does I realized that his process is very much connected to this specific context. Of course! When he works with groups he spends a lot of time talking about the history of Rwanda. This history is married to the history of colonizing countries. It is also married to the church. The church too played a significant role in the conflicts and ultimately in the 1994 Genocide. His telling of the history isn’t just a lecture but it is a conversation. It sounds like the workshops create space for people to tell their stories in light of the greater story of Rwanda and the church. There is power in story and power in acknowledging how one’s life intersected and joined the greater narrative. Then another story is also presented. It is the story of God and his reconciling himself to us. Again Philbert mentioned that forgiveness and reconciliation involve great sacrifice. God’s story of reconciliation with humanity involved great sacrifice!

It occurs to me that in the USA that there may be different barriers to forgiveness and reconciliation. Not harder just different. Here because the killing was so extensive and between friends, families and neighbors there remains whole communities who live divided by the conflicts in them and between each other. In the USA when we experience conflict we can “move on” in different ways than they can here. (and I’m not meaning to trivialize moving on). If we don’t like the church we are at, we can change churches. If our neighbors have victimized us, we can move across town, across state or across the country. Also in the US we do not value community and family tradition as deeply as they seem to here. We might feel sad about leaving a community we’ve known but we can build a “new one”. If there is a problem with someone in our city we don’t often come across the on a daily basis. Our lives are more contained because we drive our individual cars, we stay in our homes, we shop in the stores across town. Here they have plots of land that are their families for years. We can flee from the people who hurt us in a different way than many others in our world can. Even if we have means to ‘move on” we don’t actually move on! The pain remains and the venom of hatred continues to eat away at our life.

I must admit that I was very sad to leave Kigali and my friends there. I felt really emotional leaving today. It has been a very wonderful visit. My last visit to Rwanda had me focusing on the Genocide and the history of colonization there. This visit was so different. There are some stellar people there and I’m incredibly grateful for all that I’m being taught by friends.

So my flight to Entebbee marks the last phase of the trip and it is the primary reason for the trip in the first place. Today begins my involvement with GAP International and GAP’s partnership with Pastor Wilson. Pastor Wilson runs a school and we are going to be spending most of our time with his school.

My flight and my journey through immigration was uneventful. I’ve been grateful for the ease of borders this trip. This year my hardest experience at a border was at the Canadian border…go figure. I was picked up by a man from Pastor Wilson’s church. I have been taken care of as I’ve traveled these last few weeks. I’m so grateful for all the help and people who have come into my path. Yeah, the adventurer in me wanted to negotiate the taxi to Kampala but another part of me knew this was just what I needed. Thanks to Pastor Wilson and the GAP team for working this out. Robert, the driver, drove me to Pastor Wilson’s home where I was greeted by our team members. And finally after several years of hearing about Pastor Wilson and his wife Grace, I’ve met them in person.

After lunch at Pastor Wilson’s we went to the school where we joined a teacher and parent meeting. We witnessed quite the scene. Of course we made introductions and expressed thanks to each other. Wilson gave us an wonderful introduction. We heard from some of the parents. And then the parents launched into some concerns they had to share. We were not sure of all the issues but it was clear that the parents really care about their kids and that Pastor Wilson cares about hearing the good and the “bad”.

We drove to the Namirembe Guesthouse after the meeting finished and met up with our Nazarene Missionaries. We enjoyed great conversation with Dan and Melody Anderson. What a wonderful couple they are!

Kigali: Saturday July 24

2010-07-24T09:36:00.000-06:00

July 24

Today I was able to get some rest. It was so needed after yesterday. Since we didn’t get home until nearly 1am last night I was wiped and I slept until 10am. When I woke up I thought to myself, “I could be on a 10 hour bus ride right now.” It is a good thing I wasn’t. This morning I connected by phone with our Nazarene Missionary in Uganda. I am grateful for the cell phone here. We’ll meet up with him on Sunday (or Monday). I also connected with Grant Christy who is the leader of the GAP part of this trip.

So today I spent the day with Sophie. Both of us needed a down day. I was able to catch up with myself a bit. In the evening we met up with Philbert and some other Americans and went to a wedding reception. After hearing about Rwandan weddings this week it was cool to actually be at a part of one. We went to the reception where there was a presentation of cake, gifts and dancing. This all happened in front of an audience. So there was no mingling happening among guests. The best part was the group of dancers.

My last dinner in Rwanda this trip was at Philbert’s new restaurant with Sophie and 3 other American women. Also another Rwandan man joined us.

Butare: Friday July 23

2010-07-24T06:11:00.002-06:00

July 23

I lived 5 days in 24 hours. It is amazing to me how much experiece I can pack into one day!

“Day 1” After the Sauna last night I slept hard and deeply. So when the alarm rang at 6:20am I really didn’t want to get up. I did. Philbert asked Emmanuel, his house help, to help me get a moto so I could meet Lindsay and Blake near their home. I was off on the moto and then just waited at a gas station. I waited for about 10 minutes and I must say they were a long 10 minutes. There is nothing much more uncomfortable than being a Muzungu all alone. Maybe if I knew the place better, knew the language I wouldn’t feel as exposed. As I waited I thought about how blessed I’ve been on this trip to find so few moments alone. Lindsay and Blake came just as I was beginning a “conversation” with the boy that was picking up trash at the gas station. He was practicing his broken English and the conversation helped me pass the time. When Blake and Lindsay arrived we all got a moto to a coffee shop. Today was Lindsay’s birthday and although she was giving her big day to a trip to Butare at least we were beginning the day with an American breakfast. I enjoyed their company at breakfast. It has been fun for me to hear of their experiences in Rwanda in these last 6 months.

“Day 2” We took motos to town where we caught a bus to Butare. I was expecting the “matatu” buses which are tiny and cramped. I was pleasantly surprised that we had a nice bus. We had enough room which means my knees were against the back of someone’s seat but I didn’t feel cramped. The drive to Butare from Kigali was beautiful. The road winds through terraced hills.. There are were a ton of people walking and riding their bikes on the side of the road. Our bus was pulled over by the police and it looked like our driver didn’t have the correct papers. They police got in the bus an took us to the police station. For the most part everyone in the bus just sat in quite. I was more calm than I expected myself to be. I’m sure that was because I was with Blake and Lindsay. The driver was away from the bus for a short time and when he returned nothing was said. We just continued our journey. We arrived to Butare after 2 and a half hours. We were met at the bus station by Pastor Zabulon. We greeted each other and loaded into a taxi to head to the Nazarene District Center.

“Day 3” We spent a few hours with Pastor Zabulon and other pastors from Butare. I thoroughly enjoyed our conversation. I learned about the ministry of the district. They have several projects they are working on to support the orphans and widows of the area. Pastor showed us some of the cards and necklaces they make. Our conversation centered around the possibility of bringing a team of students to Butare in the future. What impressed me about the pastors is that they see a team coming to participate in the things they are already doing. They value relationship. They mentioned the idea of connecting with University students. Butare is a huge university town and in May students would still be in school. That would be awesome! It sounds like there is huge opportunity here for a relationship. It is amazing to me that I can be on the other side of the world and meet with Nazarenes. After our meeting we walked to Pastor Zabulon’s home for lunch. We met his entire family. It was a wonderful time of connecting!

“Day 4” After lunch Blake had to do some business in town for the pastors. We also needed to get our bus tickets for our return trip home. It was 10 minutes to 4 when Lindsay and I went to get our tickets. When we got up to the desk the lady informed us that there were no seats. We asked, “Can we have a later bus?” She said, “No, there are no more seats today.” This feeling of dread ran through me. I saw visions of staying in Butare the whole night. We called Black and Pastor and they said they’d try another bus company. We are in Africa! Everything is an adventure here. Sometimes I think having a knowledge off a more developed country works to be detriment. I can become so bummed by delays and disappointed when things don’t work out like they do back home. I think it is easy to be flexible when I know I’m just staying in the country for a short time. I would find some things about the way life works here very difficult long term. I totally respect those who are from developed worlds here that are working here and living simply. It must not be easy! Pastor Zabulon helped us get bus tickets for 7pm. We celebrated being able to return home tonight even though we had to wait several hours. The wait gave us more time with Pastor Zabulon.

At about 6:15 we ventured off to the bus station to wait for our bus. We began to get a sense of what to expect when it was our turn to fetch the bus. When a bus arrived everyone made a mad dash to get a seat. Pastor Zabulon helped us know when our bus arrived and the plan was for Blake to go ahead to save us seats. Sure enough when our bus arrived a mob formed around the entrance even while the bus was in motion. We had to push our way to the front. While I was pushing my way Black opened the back window of the bus and jumped in. I’m not sure how he managed this. Everyone was laughing at him outside of the us (at least those who were not getting on this bus were laughing). He then fought off people to save our seats. Lindsay was so good at pushing her way into the bus. She has had more practice than I for sure! I made my way in but only because Linsay and Blake worked hard to save a seat for me. We were so grateful to have made it on the bus, to be sitting together and to finally be on our way back to Kigali. I was glad to be sitting in the back because I could not see the road. There were several close calls as we passed other vehicles. I was glad when we made it back!

“Day 5 Tonight Philbert’s new restaurant had its grand opening. Lindsay, Blake and I took a taxi to join the opening party. We were exhausted. They didn’t stay long but it was good to introduce them to my friend Philbert! I ended up staying until Mid-night. It was great to be there for Philbert’s big say. It was “an experience”. Several of the men at the party had way too much alcohol. I’ve never been around drunk men and I don’t care to be around them every again. It is the one time this whole trip when I didn’t feel safe. I was exhausted and didn’t have much left in me to deal with crazy guys. So when Philbert said it was time to go I was thrilled. I was beyond ready! It was a marathon day of 5 acts….. I’m grateful for each part (except the drunk men).

Kigali: July 22

2010-07-22T09:31:00.000-06:00

July 22

Today I spent the day with Steven. I met Steven in 2007 at the Amahoro conference and I’ve stayed in contact with him. There are a group of friends from the UK and the US who are partnering with him. I’m beginning to see that there are a ton of orphans and widows all over Rwanda. It is interesting how in the Ukraine this summer I saw that so many churches were participating in ministry to those struggling with addictions. Yet here in Rwanda the church (and a 1000 other kinds of non-church related NGO’s) are serving orphans and widows. It is at least the story of HIV/Aids, the Genocide and poverty that creates the struggle here.

Steven invited me to join him and some of the members in his community as they handed out food items. One of the young men wrote down all the names of young people who are in the youth cooperative. Then people waited until their name was called. When their name was called they brought containers to receive oil, rice, sugar, and flour. It wasn’t much but each person got something of everything. Some brought paper bags for the dry goods. Others had only their back packs. Imagine putting flour into your backpack. As the girl who was helping poured the flour into the backpack she frowned. She too even thought this wasn’t the best method. It took a couple of hours for the whole process. The youth were patient as they waited. I played with some of the kids and tried talking to some of the youth. When it was all done we loaded some food into a car for Steven and his family.

I got to see Steven’s home. I remember seeing his home in 2007 and this home is a mansion compared to that house! The kids even have bunk beds instead of sleeping on the floor. Steven and his wife have something like 16 kids--he has “adopted” most of them. I met some of them. Most were at school. I’m not sure how his household works. Steven mentioned during our visit that when the kids reach a certain age they move in with other kids. So some of the young women and young men I met in the village, he said, used to live with him.

Steven pointed out the water that recently “turned on” or was “installed. I’m not sure when this happened but it just boggles my mind to think of a not having running water. Even though I’m here and constantly seeing people carrying yellow jerry cans I still struggle to really comprehend walking hours every day for water. On Tuesday I missed walking to the water hole that Steven’s community uses. The group of American women I’ve joined some this week made that trek to see what walking to the waterhole is like. They said it took about an hour to get there. I can not imagine walking everyday to fetch water from a watering hole. I imagine when those get water in their home it changes their lives drastically.

Later this afternoon Steven introduced me to a friend of his who wanted to share her story with me. She is a survivor of the genocide. She lost her husband and was raped multiple times. Her two kids survived also. Admittedly, it felt a bit awkward to here her story without any sort of relationship. However, she explained that when Steven asked if she would like to get together with me she agreed because she wants people to know what happened. She said that many women she knows do not tell because there is so much shame. What courage it must take to share your story--a story of horrific suffering with people! Her courage really touched me.

Tonight I had a uniquely African experience. This week Philbert and his cousin, Augustine, told Sophie and I about the Rwandan Sauna. It sounded something like the Korean Bathhouse. Philbert asked Sophie and I if we wanted to try it. Sophie is up for everything! Me too. So we went. Let me just say that I’m glad she was with me! We were both glad to have another female companion in this experience.

In my mind I pictured a really nice “western” place much like an upscale hotel. Ha. Julene, let’s be real! It was a nice building but it was still very African. We entered and Sophie and I were given a large green sarong to cover ourselves with. We were directed into a women’s changing area. I was envisioning a locker room behind the curtain with benches, sinks, and shower stalls. Sure I saw the shower stalls in the main room when we walked in but certainly there were women specific showers. Yeah, right. Behind the curtain was a room with pegs on the walls for clothes and slippers on the floor for our feet. It was very simple. We changed and were both feeling nervous and uncomfortable. How does this sarong work? How will we keep it from coming off or falling down? “We can do it.” When we exited the changing room Augustine and Philbert were waiting for us in their own sauna attire. They lead us into the sauna.

Like Sophie reflected the “sauna” was a mix between a steam room and a sauna in the States. It was a large room with two levels of seating along the walls. At the back of the room was the steam maker. There were spices that lay over top of the steam maker. The room was hot and smelled of a potent lemony scent. Honestly it smelled of Pinesol. Sophie and I were the only two Muzungu. There may have been one other women in the sauna. The rest were men. We were the talk of the room. The guys joked that with us in the sauna there was no need for light. Our light skin was light enough. Ha…ha.. On the floor of the sauna a man was giving another man “a wash”. Later Philbert and Augustine would receive “a wash”. I was asked if I wanted one and declined. Yeah, that wouldn’t be fun….guys staring at me “getting a wash”. I’m all for experience but even I have my limit. Apparently one of the men was willing to pay to give us a wash but the man working retorted that it was his job and if anyone were to was the Muzungu it would be him. Yeah, no wash for me!

We went from the intensely hot sauna to the “resting room” and back and forth a few times. I was done after 3 rounds. Those shower stalls in the entrance….well they were for everyone. I found one in a corner that seemed more private. There was a shower curtain! I took a real shower! I haven’t had a real shower in 2 weeks. I’ve bathed every day at Philbert’s (and with warm water, by the way) but he doesn’t have a fully functioning shower head. So tonight I took a shower. The water was cold but at it was a true shower. Oh the niceties of western culture.

We ended our evening with dinner out. All of us were ready for bed after dinner. The sauna experience and a good meal prepared us well for rest. I wish I could sleep in tomorrow morning! I have to meet up with Blake and Lindsay, the Nazarene missionaries, at 6:45am. It has been another full day of experience and adventure!

Kigali: July 21

2010-07-22T09:25:00.000-06:00

July 21

Dana Hicks, my pastor, was in Rwanda at the end of June. He met up with a couple who has been in Rwanda for 6 months. Before I left Nampa for Africa Dana helped me connect with Lindsay and Blake Berry. I learned they are Nazarene Missionaries and they are planning on spending 2 years in Rwanda and Congo. Blake‘s main job is to set up compute centers so that pastors can get theological education online. What a cool task! Lindsay is finding her job too but her work is coming more slowly. She has been connecting with the Nazarene Youth and next week is speaking at the youth camp.

Lindsay and I met at a coffee shop. Lindsay showed me around the city a little and then we met her husband at a nice western restaurant. We talked all afternoon. They showed me their home and the Nazarene compound. We made plans to meet on Friday when they are going to take me to visit some of our pastors in Butare. We are going to meet with a District Superintendent.

Today I changed my return travel plans to Kampala. The bus experience was so good on the way here. However I’ve decided to fly back. I decided to fly on Sunday (instead of returning on Saturday) because Friday is going to be such a long day. I’m hoping Saturday will be a recover day. I just can not see having 2 long travel days in a row and ten jumping right into the last part of my trip with GAP. I also learned that Saddie, who was my travel companion on the bus ride here, had a huge incident on her attempt to return to Kampala by bus. She was in a head on collision on the bus. She had to climb out of the window. No one was hurt and the bus company sent for everyone and returned them back to Kigali. Oh my! So my decision to fly on Sunday feels really good! I’ve had my bus adventure for this trip and we’ll leave it at that.

After leaving Lindsay and Blake I returned to Philbert’s home. I had dinner with Sophie and Philbert. We talked more about forgives and reconciliation. Philbert has a wealth of experience working with people who have experienced conflict. I find it so easy to over romanticize the work that he does. It just amazes me that people who lost family members can become reconciled with those that killed their family. It is beautiful. Philbert said that in the last 10 years he has done his workshops with 23,000 people. And only 5,000 of those have been able to forgive and/or be forgiven. He talked about how hard it is for people. He said that the power to forgive only comes from God and that he can not judge those who cannot forgive and be reconciled because it is just too hard. It is too hard for so many to live in the same community with those who took their families from them. Philbert helped me see both the difficulties of forgiveness but also he helped me gain a perspective of how needed the work he is doing is. There are still so many people in Rwanda who are living with the pain and trauma of 1994.

As we talked Philbert said, “Julene I have an analogy I want to share with you.” I love that I’ve felt like a student in his home. : ) He explained that in Africa most snakes have poisonous venom. If a snake bites you it infects you with poison. When infected you need to get to a doctor to get help. If you don’t get help, the venom inside of you could very well kill you. He said, “What if you were to kill the snake after it bit you?” “Would that save your life?” “What if instead of getting help from the doctor you kept wishing and planning how you were going to kill or make the snake’s life miserable?” “ It wouldn’t save your life!” “In fact it would kill you because the venom would take its course in such a way that life would end.” What a good way of talking about how holding onto hatred and ill feelings for people kills us. It might not actually make our heart stop beating, however, it steals life from us. And it does!

Sometimes we spend so much time plotting how we are going to kill the snake instead of taking care of the venom that is working to kill us. Forgiveness doesn’t turn the snakes bite into an acceptable act. Forgiveness in no way condones the wrong doing. But it frees us from the poison. And getting rid of the poison can also be a very painful journey! God is needed to help in the journey towards forgiveness.

It was a great evening! I wish I could listen to Philbert tell stories all night!

Rwanda Day 4: Tuesday July 20

2010-07-20T08:03:00.003-06:00

July 20--

I’ve been fighting a cold for a few days and today it finally really caught me. So I’m taking it easy today, getting rest and fluids. It is nice to be able to rest at Philbert’s home. I’m hoping today’s rest will help this cold to pass. We shall see. After yesterday’s huge day I’m so content to have a less huge day!

I’ve finally been able to upload blog entries that are indeed too long. But there has been a long list of experience too. I’m with great people and having a trip of a lifetime, for sure. I can see returning to this place.

Rwanda Day 3: Monday July 19

2010-07-19T08:03:00.001-06:00

July 19--

Today was absolutely one of the most profound days of my life. It was profound because I walked away believing more in the possibility of goodness, believing more in meaning of hope, believing more in the potential for forgiveness and reconciliation and lastly believing that Jesus is alive and well even in the darkest of circumstances. I’ve been believing for years now that God is the greater of all that is good and the redeemer of all that lacks goodness. Thank you Julian of Norwich for this. I’ve seen this come to light in the circumstances of my own life. But I’ve never had a neighbor kill my family. I’ve never had someone I know take everything from me--house and family and livestock--and leave me for dead. As I’ve learned about some of the unspeakable evil in our world it has had me question the possibility for goodness and the potential for forgiveness let alone reconciliation. Could God really redeem the worst in our world?

At the start of summer I read the book that or freshman are going to be reading come fall. It is a book on forgiveness and reconciliation in Rwanda titled “As We Forgive”. It spoke to the real difficulty and pain involved in the process of forgiveness and reconciliation. When I am honest about such an issue as “reconciliation” I have to acknowledge that it is a romantic idea in my head. It is something that is so beautiful on the outside and heart warming on the inside. “As We Forgive” did a good job of demystifying reconciliation for me. The timing of my reading that book couldn’t have been more perfect.

Today I went with Philbert who heads up Reach Rwanda, Pastor Fidel who works alongside Philbert for Reach, Bishop Mark from Northern Ohio(from the Episcopal church), his daughter Sophie and son Eli on a trip. We traveled about 21/2 hours out of Kigali to the Eastern province of Rwanda near the Tanzania border. This is an area that Reach has been working in the longest to help facilitate forgiveness and reconciliation after the 1994 genocide. It has been a big deal for Bishop Mark to be here. It turns out that he was the first bishop from the US to come to visit Reach participants in this area. So you can imagine how excited the people were when an American bishop arrived with Philbert and Fidel. Of course they were excited to see the rest of us who are Muzungu’s too.
We met for a gathering in a Pentecostal church. There were pastors from several churches, a choir of young people and maybe 100 others. It could have been any church gathering in Africa. But it wasn’t just any gathering at all. The people in the room and the stories they are host made this gathering anything but a regular church meeting.

As the gathering started pastors made introductions. One of the pastors who works with Reach asked all those who have been trained by Reach to stand up. Quite a few people stood up. Then he asked all those who are survivors of the genocide to stand up. More than half of the room stood up. Then he asked those who killed someone during the genocide to stand up. Maybe 1/3 of the room stood up. In that number stood both men and women. I was sitting in a church with survivors and perpetrators of the genocide. Reach has been going into some of the prisons and helping those who killed others to know about God’s forgiveness, his love and helping them to know Christ. Many of the perpetrators have finished their prison terms and returned to their communities. I can’t imagine how hard this must be for them as well as the survivors. Yet some of the perpetrators are returning to seek forgiveness. I felt in awe that I was sitting among those who had killed and those who survived. Some of the survivors even sat with people who had killed their own families.

Philbert asked Bishop Mark and I to introduce ourselves and to say a few words of encouragement. I was glad he warned me before we got there because I had an idea of what I could say. I think I would have been totally speechless had I not come in with some thoughts. What in the world could I say to these people about God when they “get it”? They understand the pain and struggle of the long road to forgiveness and they are participating in God’s life in a way I only hear about. I thanked them for their witness to the resurrection. Their lives are proof that Jesus is living in this world today. Bishop Mark thanked them for their living testimony to hope. Later he commented that these pastors and people are not only teaching their community and Rwanda about forgiveness and reconciliation but they are teaching the world. God is redeeming the horrendous events of 1994 in small pocket communities all over Rwanda. God has been using the work of Reach and other organizations that are doing reconciliation work to show the world that forgiveness and reconciliation is possible. It sounds like, however, that the work has a long ways to go.

When Paul talks about the church being an ambassador of reconciliation he isn’t talking about a pipe dream. He is calling us to be this and Paul for one knew how painful for the journey was, the heart ache of being the wrong doer and the triumph and freedom of being forgiven and forgiving. Today I met people who prove that the call to be reconcilers is real and that the possibilities are just as real.

During the service we heart 3 people give their testimonies. Agnes shared in general about what happened in 1994. She shared how hard it was and how hard it continues to be. From her I sensed that this road of forgiveness continues. There is still a lot of pain involved in living in a community of survivors and perpetrators. She asked us to pray for them.

Next John got up to share with us. John was in prison for around 10 years. He killed people in this community. While in prison people from Reach ministered to him. He became a Christian and then when he was released he found some of the family members of people he had killed to repent and apologize. Yet Reach made it possible for John to go further than just say I’m sorry. John shared how he has been working on building a shelter for one of the families. The family was asked to stand up. There was a man in the back of the room who was standing on crutches. This was the man that John was building a house for. I was sitting there feeling like I was living in a dream. But I wasn’t. This is real. I remember reading in “As We Forgive” about a similar story. Yet here I was meeting people who are living this story out.

A third lady got up and shared about what happened to her during the genocide. She survived at first by hiding in the roof of her home. She was found and then “survived” by being handed to many men to be raped. Her story represents so many women’s stories during the genocide.

At the end of the meeting some of the ladies presented all of us visitors with a token of thanks for being with them today. The ladies in the community have created a cooperative and they are weaving baskets. They presented each of us with a basket they hand crafted. One of the pastors explained that our baskets had a specific purpose. These baskets he said are to hold inside of them all of our experiences and all the stories we have heard. We are to take these baskets and open them up when we get home. We are to share what we’ve seen and what we’ve heard so that the rest of the world knows what is happening in their community, within Reach‘s ministry, and in Rwanda.

After the service ended we greeted the people. The ladies had some more baskets for sale too. After spending some time with the people we got in the car and drove to two of the homes that was built for the survivors. Both were homes John was working on.

John met us there with the man on crutches and his wife. We were welcomed in the home to see it. Inside the home John explained how no one had told him he had to build a house but that he felt like he had to do something for this man. Saying sorry is not enough. We learned that John had beaten the man on crutches and left him on a pile of dead bodies for dead. The man survived but has been disabled ever since. The man on crutches also shared with us. He said that he has been so grateful for what John is doing. He never could have guessed this would happen to him. He said that when John came out of prison John came to him and told him about Reach. The man also got involved with Reach and learned about forgiveness and reconciliation. He said that it was too hard to hold the hatred any longer. Forgiving has set his heart free. He commented that no one in his family helped him build a home after the genocide yet John came to him, told him about Reach and has been building him a home. As he spoke you could see the sheer amazement on his face. I too felt amazed by what I was hearing. I felt like I was in the presence of Christ. I’m not sure there is a moment in my life where I’ve been as keenly aware of God’s real presence. Later Bishop Mark commented that today we had witnessed the miracle of the Incarnation. I think he is right. I also think that today I was able to witness the miracle of the resurrection too. Both were so clearly being witnessed today in our midst. Jesus has been giving new life and Jesus has been present through his people for them and for us.

I’ve read about how holding onto hatred and resentment and anger keeps people from living the lives they want. In small ways I’m coming to know this to be true in my own life. Yet today I felt like God gave witness to this reality in a way that I’ll never forget. While I can not deny the pain and difficulty in forgiving and reconciling I also cannot deny that it is both possible and freeing for the soul. If it can happen among killers and survivors, then it can happen among anyone.

Today there was an appeal for more building supplies. More freed prisoners would like to participate in reconciliation and would like to help build homes. Reach has helped provide resources for 30 homes to be built for victims by their perpetrators. I think it would be incredible to help provide the resources for a home. How cool would it be to participate in this process of reconciliation by helping victims and their perpetrators have this experience? We saw two homes today. They are simple houses but their meaning to all involved is far from simple.

The day didn’t end here. We gathered with Reach leaders for lunch and had opportunity to share more with each other. We also stopped by Philbert’s parents house. That was fun for us. Philbert has been an awesome host and so it was special to meet his parents. Just down the road from his parents other youth who are involved in Reach were waiting for us. There was another choir and a dance team that was preparing a performance for us. We sat and listened and watched. It was wonderful. The choir has been together for many years now and their ages are between 15 and 30. Philbert explained that they have spent a lot of time and money on this group of youth. They have had training and they have uniforms. Often when Reach puts on a workshop for reconciliation the choir comes to sing for the people. Philbert said that often the choir helps people to begin thinking about their need for Christ and their need to forgive. The dance team invited all of the visitors to join them. I danced…not very well…but I tried. We all did. It was a very fun ending to a hugely meaningful day.

Rwanda Day 2: Sunday July 18

2010-07-18T08:01:00.002-06:00

July 18

In the morning I had breakfast with Philbert and Sophie. They were heading off to meet Sophie’s father and brother for church. And I was heading out to meet up with an American group--we were not going to church. Philbert has a wonderful sense of humor and gave me a horribly bad time about my not going to church today. I was hoping I would get to go to Steven’s church today but there was another plan in the works which I was pleased to join in with. And Steven was to be there! So he wasn’t going to be at his church either!

One of the serendipitous things of this trip is that a group of Americans from Seattle are here in Kigali visiting Steven. Also a friend from Amahoro who lives in Portland, Kelly Bean, is also here. They are all staying at the AEE Guesthouse. From Philbert’s house it is only a 5 minute walk. So today I walked to the guesthouse in the morning to meet up with Kelly to learn more about the scope of Steven’s work and to learn about the work she has been doing since arriving in the country last week.

When Steven arrived we gave each other a huge hug. We’ve been communicating these last 3 years and it was so cool to see each other again. We chatted about our families a bit before heading out for the day’s work. Kelly and the American group have been working to learn more about the village that Steven and his wife Providence are serving. There are a large number of widows and orphans in the community of Gasoni. The group of us walked around the village visiting several kids homes. Two of them have not adult living with them but instead they have a child head of household. We visited 2 boys homes and 1 girls homes. The girls home had an adult living with them. I can’t imagine being a kid and running a household!

Later on in the afternoon Kelly and I went with Steven and Gloria (a member of Steven’s church and a translator) to one of the projects Steven has been working on with the widows. The project is called “New Destiny” and it is a cooperative. Sewing machines have been purchased and a tailor has come in and given some instruction to the women. From what I gathered the cooperative exists not just for learning how to sew but to work together to help each other survive the struggle of intense poverty. The women are working together to come up with ideas and plans to help them make money. This is not easy as I heard yesterday. Kelly called this meeting with the ladies to learn how their committee works and to learn what struggles and challenges they are facing. I listened in and was amazed by the challenges they face. I was also enlightened to the complications presented with the original sewing project. So far it hasn’t helped bring in income. There are not enough sewing machines. It sounds like they still need more skills. The machine qualities is poor compared to market quality. The location of the project isn’t conducive to market. The ladies are needing to give time to survival and so it has been hard to give time to sewing when it doesn’t produce a solution to their hunger, their need for school fees, or their needs for medicines, etc. Also they talked about how hard it is to purchase materials for themselves. As the meeting went on I saw so clearly the challenge before us. It is not that easy to come up with sustainable enterprises with people. There are way more issues at stake than I could imagine and I can see it is going to take all of us time, patience, and a willingness to fail at first in order to get where we ultimately want to go. That is we hope to see these ladies find a way of supporting themselves.

When I returned to Philbert’s home I looked down at my feet and they were covered in red dirt. I had arrived just in time for dinner. Philbert had a group of pastors and friends over. They were sitting on his porch when I arrived. Something in me said I should go and wash my feet and I laugh because it dawned on me that this is what they’d do in the Bible times. I’m so used to being clean but this place is dusty. At least the village was. So I washed my feet before entering the company of the guests and was reminded that I had been a part of something actually pretty biblical today. No, not just in washing dirty feet. That is silly. But in being with the widows and being a part of a group that is trying to work with them to find a solution for how they might support themselves. As Kelly recounted the history of our relationship with Steven and their community it dawned on me that the space we participated in today was holy space. All over scriptures it talks about caring for the widow and here we were a part of something like this. So as I washed my feet before entering into the party I felt grateful that in a very small way I participated in the Kingdom today.

Rwanda Day 1: Saturday July 17

2010-07-17T08:00:00.000-06:00

July 17

Today I decided with Philberts encouragement to take a down day. Well it was sort of a rest day. I had been asked if I wanted to join a team that was going out to work with anther friend of mine I’m going to visit with--Steven. I’ll have more chances to connect with Steven. I really did need a day to sleep in and recharge a bit. I hung out with Philbert and Sophie in the morning. Philbert told us awesome stories about his first trip to the UK. I won’t share them because they are not my stories to write about. However, he really helped me gain insight into what it must feel like for people who come to the west from Africa for the first time. I never even thought of the things he described. I’ve had my own cross-cultural frustrations and learning experiences. But I’ve always lived in a developed world. It is my bathing experience at Caleb’s that gives me some idea of the radical shocks of experiencing life in a completely new way. I thoroughly enjoyed the morning and feel so humbled to be here. I have a ton to learn!

Sophie and I took motor bikes into town to get coffee, attempt accessing internet, exchange money, etc. I was able to do it all except for the internet part! This is one of the first overseas travel trips that I’ve not had really great access to internet. When we were at the coffee shop I called my travel companion, Saddie, from the bus ride to see if she wanted to join Sophie and I for lunch. I knew she was planning on going to the same mall center we were at. It turned out she was there! Saddie joined us for lunch. What great conversation we had. I find it so fun to be around people who have traveled. There is a special connection that we have because the places we’ve experienced and the people we’ve met along the way. The experiences change us and challenge our worldviews and I enjoyed talking about this. Nothing in life seems as simple anymore in terms of how we think about the systems of the world. Yet at the same time I saw in all of us this desire to create a more simple way of living. I have found myself writing down a list of books that I want to read when I get home. Both Saddie and Sophie had some great recommendations.

Tonight I returned to Reach’s Center for Unity and Peace. They call it C.U.P for short. We went to CUP for dinner with a whole host of westerners. Sophie’s dad and younger brother flew in tonight. Her dad is an Episcopal Bishop. The group of women meeting with my friend Steven today also joined us for dinner. We had a great time of connecting. I solidified plans to join Kelly Bean and the rest of the ladies to go out to Steven’s ministry tomorrow. I’ve been so excited to see Steven again. Like Philbert who I’m staying with Steven too made such an impact on me the last time I was here. This time I’m going to actually gain a broader sense for Steven’s ministry.

Travel to Kigali: Friday July 16

2010-07-16T07:59:00.000-06:00

July 16--

For several weeks anxiety has had a hold on me about this day. Today was the day I had hoped I’d be on my way to Kigali from Kampala. I can’t begin to explain how much I went back and forth between “I’m going to fly” and “I’m going to take the bus”. What should I do? One the one hand it felt like the safe thing was to take a flight. I wouldn’t lose a whole day in travel. However, it would cost almost 7 times as much as the bus ride. I could use the money for it but would this be a good use of resources? And I’ve cone on this trip to be with my friends in Uganda and Rwanda. How can I be “with” them and spend so much money on transportation? Yet there has been fear and rightly so about solo land travel in Africa. Yes, I’ve done solo journeys before but never here. I’ve taken long bus journeys in Tanzania but I was always with other westerners and always journeying with other locals. So many scenarios of what might happen were going through my mind. Deep down I didn’t care if I was giving a whole day to travel on the bus. I didn’t want to ignore the fears consuming a part of my mind. However, something else in me wanted to experience the bus. I knew the bus would help me connect to the place in a way that flying would not. And the fact is, even if I would have flown it would have been an all day affair because the airport in Uganda was quite a drive from where I was staying. It was much easier for my friends to drop me off at the bus station rather than the airport because it was close to their office. All of my African friends told me “you will be fine”. And while they don’t know what it is to be female and Muzungo I knew they had traveled this journey and I wanted to trust their recommendation. And they wanted to make sure that I got the executive bus not anything else.

So yester day I set off for the station. Caleb and his wife Rita have been so kind and helpful. Caleb took me to the station and made sure I knew what to do. When we arrived I met another solo woman traveler. After Caleb left we began to talk. She was to sit in the front row and I was to sit towards the back of the bus. At least I knew there was a potential friend on the bus. Just as we set off on our journey one of bus attendants came to me and asked if I’d like to sit next to “my friend“. Of course! I would love that! It would give me someone to talk to and it would allow me to have a better sight for where we were going. (And we had leg room). So here I was on this really nice bus, comfortable and sitting with a new friend, Saddie. Saddie and I laughed about the assumptions but we were just fine! I wasn’t traveling alone after all. We both commented how appreciative we were for each other on this long journey. We did a great job of taking care of each other too.

When we stopped for gas and a bathroom break my new friend and I we took turns using the pit latrines. WOW. We both had never experienced such a horrible smell in our lives. It was so nice to know my stuff was being watched and it was so nice to laugh with my travel companion about what we had just experienced. The bus ride went so fast because we talked our way through it. The border crossing was easy. There I met a pastor/evangelist. The three of us stuck together throughout the border crossing. Pastor was from Nigeria and has been traveling around Eastern Africa working with churches. So here I was on this journey “alone” and yet I wasn’t alone at all. I had a travel companion and a fellow minister with me.

We thankfully arrived into Kigali before dark. The journey took 10 hours. We encountered road contruction so the journey was 2 hours longer than what it could be. My travel companion and I exchanged phone numbers just in case we would need each other while in Kigali. Awesome! She got some help with a taxi and I needed to call my friend to tell him I had arrived. Caleb and Rita in Uganda had helped me set up a cell phone but I was not able to use it in Rwanda. I’ve now figured out the correct codes and it works! So I had to find someone and ask to borrow a phone. A nice man at a little restaurant allowed me to use his cell phone. I was speaking to him in English not even thinking that he wouldn’t understand me. How easy it is to forget I’m in a non-English speaking country. He was so patient and really wanted to understand me. Looking back I’m so grateful that he had such patience with me and just didn’t wave me off. I called Philbert and was directed to find a taxi driver. A tinge of fear went through me as I realized I was going to get into a taxi and go somewhere I wasn’t sure. However, Philbert suggested that I have the taxi driver call him to get instructions and this felt really good. I reconnected with my American travel companion and there found our pastor friend as well. He was also looking for a taxi. Our pastor friend and I together found a taxi driver. We were headed in the same general direction. So together we loaded all our stuff into his car and set out. Again I found relief in knowing I wasn’t alone! And Philbert kept calling the taxi driver to help him know where to go. It was amazing how it all worked out. I felt so taken care of. Here I was in a place I did not know and I was doing something I had never done before yet I was surrounded by so much kindness and help.

Philbert Kalisa is the director of Reach Rwanda and his organization works to bring unity, peace and reconciliation between people in Rwanda. I’ve been waiting several years now for an opportunity to spend time with him and to learn more about his work. The taxi driver arrived at the Reach Rwanda compound. There was Philbert with a huge smile. He greeted me with a hug and said, “Let me see you. You look the same.” I laughed inside. I had made it. Not only had I made the journey safe but after several years of waiting for this opportunity I had now “made it”. Thanks be to God.

Philbert had such excitement. I’m sure a part of it was because I had arrived but it was much more than that. This week is very significant week for Reach. Philbert showed me the bar and restaurant that is having it’s official opening this week. The venture is hopefully going to create revenue which we’ll support the wok of Reach. We sat down for a soda and dinner. I was a bit weary but extremely content. It felt so good to be here.

I watched as Philbert greeted friends with thankfulness. Tonight the restaurant was opened for friends. Philbert knew most everyone. How exciting for Philbert and for his friends to see this part of their dream coming to life. Next Friday they will have a grand opening and I’m hoping to be there for that!

Later we went to Philbert’s home. There is another young lady, Sophie, that is staying with Philbert for a few weeks. She is a University student. We chatted for a couple hours. I’m feeling grateful for how God provided for me today and humbled by the welcome I’m continuing to receive from friends. It is good to be “home”.

Uganda Day 2: Thursday July 15

2010-07-15T07:53:00.000-06:00

July 15-- Today I spent a good amount of time playing with the kids. I’m still living in this surreal land not really connecting fully to the fact that I’m in Ugandan and staying with a family who lives in a village without electricity. It has been a long time since I’ve used a pit latrine. When they are clean they really are not so bad. However, I’m discovering that they take practice to keep clean. Practice in the sense of learning how to use the latrine and practice in the sense of learning how to clean it.

Rita is so good with the kids. I love her philosophy. She is teaching the kids to take part in the community but she isn’t forcing them. She is giving them skills as they want it. And what I’ve seen is that some of the kids are wanting it!! Others are being content to just play and be kids. I loved hearing her talk about one of the new boys. After she had taught him how to clean the bathroom at the half way house he now was at their home telling his new siblings how to clean a bathroom properly. How cool it must be to see your teaching being passed on. The kids are so endearing to their parents and mentors. I’m sure they have their momens like any kid but I’m impressed by the love I see in this household.

I brought a jump rope with me and pulled it out today. The kids and I had so much fun. They wore me out! Ha. They have a ton of energy and could have jumped for hours. We laughed a ton.

In between play sessions with the kids today I took a nap. Jet lag…hate it. It was nice, however, to be able to escape to a bed for a couple of hours and get some rest. I needed it.

Tonight we went into town and Rita helped me get my bus ticket for tomorrow. I’m not sitting as much towards the front as I had hoped but I’ll have a window seat. The bus looks surprisingly nice. There are only two seats on each side! And I learned that there will be bathroom stops tomorrow. Caleb said that if I had to go in between stops, I could ask the driver to stop. That means I’d have to go on the side of the road. I guess that means I’m wearing a dress tomorrow!!

Rita asked that I make a point to telling the kids that I am leaving tomorrow. She didn’t want to have to be the one to answer all their questions. Wise! Her comment made me realize that it really isn’t fair that I’ve dropped into this family’s life only to leave 2 days later. I really saw this when I told the kids I was leaving in the morning. I hated it. They were already in their bedroom. All the girls were singing songs of praise and praying together. They invited me in and I sat on the bed and joined them for a while. Eventually I got the chance to tell them that I’d be taking a bus tomorrow to Rwanda. I was begged and begged not to go. My heart was heavy. This really wasn’t “fair” of me. Somehow I’ve got to see them again before I return to the USA. Hopefully I can work it out. I got lots of hugs. The older girls asked if they could sing for me. Of course! They sang some English songs. They asked me to sing a few songs. I did and then they asked if I’d sing some songs that my mother taught me. Umm…I do not remember what songs my mother taught me (sorry mom). I don’t remember songs very easily and as I sat in silence trying to remember they thought I didn’t want to sing for them. I was able to recapture a few more songs from the recesses of my early childhood memory. They were content and so was I. I felt sad to leave too soon but content that I had said goodbye to most of them.

Tomorrow is the day I’ve been talking about now for weeks. I am nervous but I’m going. We are planning on leaving at 7am.

Uganda Day 1: Wednesday July 14

2010-07-14T07:50:00.000-06:00

July 14--Today I learned more about the life that Caleb and Rita are living. They are a couple that has rich courage and deep hearts. They are living out a life so radically spilled out for God. They have committed themselves to taking in kids that have been abandoned or orphaned. I had forgotten that Caleb spent many years on the streets himself. He has an amazing story about how he went from being on the street, getting himself educated and eventually taking in kids of his own. Caleb and Rita are not running an “orphanage”. When I frist heard what Caleb was going in 2007 this was my first impression. Yet he and Rita are not running an orphanage! Caleb and Rita are creating a family. They have an ever enlarging family. I asked how many kids they have. They explained that in Uganda people do not count kids. They have many!

In the day light I was able to see their home. There are several buildings on the compound. There is the parent’s home and the kid’s home. There is a bathroom (pit latrine) and kitchen. The facility was completed sometime in May or June. So the family is still getting used to their new residence. They are working at developing the land so that they will be self-sustaining when it comes to food. The life they are undertaking requires so many resources! I’m not sure how they are doing it but God has been faithful to their courage. It occurred to me that Caleb and Rita is not just “in ministry” which is often how I’ve talked about what I do. They are living a certain kind of life--a life of ever enlarging hospitality.

Caleb taught me something pretty profound today. When he shared a part of his story, a story I hope one day he will have the opportunity to tell, he talked about the importance of giving belonging over giving charity. He has known well the struggle of few resources. But he helped me see that even when resources are lacking that we can always help others feel like they belong. His mission as I’m only just beginning to understand it is to help kids who haven’t belonged to anyone feel like they belong. We don’t have to have a lot of money, enough food, or anything but we can create a space in our lives that help others feel like they are a part of something. Thanks Caleb for this profound lesson that I’ve seen so clearly through the way you and Rita are living your lives together. Thanks for helping me know that I belonged with you!

In the morning I met some of the younger kids. They were shy but it didn’t last long. We left for Kampala before I could spend any time with them. As we drove towards town we stopped by the school where some of their kids go. They came up to see mom and dad (and the musing friend in the car). There was a clear sense of belonging! In Kampala Caleb and Rita helped me with some important essentials--exchanging money, setting up a cell phone and buying “safe” drinking water. I really enjoyed being with them and learning more about the life they are living. They helped me understand some about the Ugandan culture, how they come by kids who are in need, and how they work with kids in the process of welcoming them into their family. They have learned so much over the years about how best to help especially those kids who have spent time living on the street to adjust to non-street life. Caleb and Rita showed me two of their other homes. They have “half-way” houses. One is for girls and the second is for girls. These homes are for kids who are just coming off of the streets. Caleb shared the importance of creating space to help kids become kids again. These initial residences give the kids a chance to choose a non-street life. And it helps them learn how to be a part of a household. I’m sure Caleb would say it does a whole lot more than all of this too!

Later on we returned to their home and I spent the rest of the evening with the kids. I had a blast! We played catch with a soccer ball. Wherever I sat some of the kids joined me. The little ones competed for the space on my lap. I don’t consider myself a kid person. However, how could I not be here! I attempted to teach the younger kids English words for body parts and colors. Ha…I worked harder than they did. They would just repeat what I was saying. The older kids knew most of these words. The smallest kids found great fascination with my skin and my hair. You could see they just wanted to touch me and see if it was like them but different. If I were them and the situation was reversed-meaning I was a Muzungu child with an solo African adult I’m sure I’d react the very same way!! Differences are fascinating!

Earlier in the day Caleb had made a point of telling me that in the evening the girls at home would teach me how to bathe Ugandan style. I guess they have experienced other westerners who didn’t know how to use a basin for washing. I’ve backpacked…camped….and not had showers before. I figured I knew what to expect. At the end of the day the mentor ladies-or the “Aunties” of the home-- asked if I wanted to take a bath. Of course! It had been 3 days! I’m not sure yet how to describe how I felt about the experience that followed. Exposing. Connecting. Nerve wracking. Embarrassing. Comforting. The ladies prepared warm water in a basin. They made sure I had a towel. When I showed them my camping size towel (the size of a dish towel) they laughed. It was at this point I realized something wasn’t going to go the way I expected. Sure enough! They took me to the side of the house and there under the moon and stars the HELPED me bathe. Later when I told Caleb and even shared how surprised I was that we bathed outside he laughed (a compassionate laugh) and said something like, “they are making you Ugandan”. All I can say is thank you Korea for teaching me to enjoy the bath house. Korea, Uganda, has one up on you! They bathe together outside in the dark and in the open.” I actually don’t think they do normally just when they have a Muzungo to initiate into the family. Well at least I feel initiated into their community. In a deeper way after my bathing experience tonight I feel like I belong.

Arriving to Uganda: Tuesday July 13

2010-07-13T07:47:00.001-06:00

July 13-- It was smooth goings as I walked through the maze of immigration (including getting my visa) and collecting my luggage. As I walked through the doors out into the lobby and through people waiting for their arrivals I heard my name. “Julene” and there was Caleb. It has been almost 3 years since we last saw each other. We recognized each other! He introduced me to his wife Rita. When I arrived it was nearly midnight. Considering being birded by the plane out of Amsterdam I arrived in good time! It had been almost 24 hours since I left home. I had not slept but 2 hours, maybe. We got in their Landrover and drove and talked. Caleb and Rita live on the outskirts of Kampala which meant we needed to drive from Entebbe through Kampala and then north on the road towards Gulu. It was about a 90 minute drive. The air in Kampala was dusty and dirty and as we left Kampala and entered its outskirts the air changed. You could see the stars. We arrived to their home around 2am. I was shown to a room to sleep. Tonight I slept in a village in Uganda. It is amazing how in the morning one can wake up in the USA and go to sleep in Uganda the following night.

Birded Delay

2010-07-13T04:38:00.003-06:00

Everything went just expected on my Boise to Minneapolis flight, Minneapolis to Amsterdam flight. All looked well for the Amsterdam to Entebee flight too. As we were boarding I was thinking how smooth my travel was going. It even crossed my mind that I shouldn't yet be that smug. We took off from Amsterdam. I felt wiped and just relieved to be on the final leg of this very long journey. I had my ear plugs and eye mask on and was ready to settle in to sleep. After all it is 2am MountainTime. The take off seemed a bit odd...it seemed like we didn't go up as high as fast as normal. The caption came on the radio about 20 minutes in to inform us that we need to head back to the airport. On take off we encountered some birds and it was believed the engine consumed one or some. The heat levels on the engine were too high for safety. We landed without any trouble. Sure enough there was a bird in our engine and the plane is out of commission for at least our flight. They've found a new plane for us and we are scheduled to leave 3 hours later. We'll see. They were kind enough to provide us with a meal voucher.

The journey has begun!

A Journey Ahead: Uganda and Rwanda

2010-07-11T15:14:00.004-06:00

It seems this year my blog has been of use mostly when I travel. Life this year has been so full and certainly there have been many things to share but I've been more focused on developing life where I'm living rather than the blog-world. I am grateful, however, for those who have continued to show great interest in what is transpiring in my life. In the next few weeks I'll be posting as I am able. You can be sure that I'll be writing of this adventure but internet access isn't a given.

So a journey is ahead of me. There is a mission component to this trip as well as a very personal component. I leave for Uganda and Rwanda tomorrow and will return on August 4th. I covet your prayers as I travel and as our team convenes in a little over a week. I'm so grateful for those who have already said they will pray for me and for us. I'm grateful for all those who have supported us financially too. We take you, who have decided to join us in prayer and financial support, with us as we go and will remember that we are not doing what we are doing without you.

Tomorrow I'm "looking forward" to 3 flights--two of which are 8 hours long. I hope there are TV's in the back of the seats. Funny how I like so many of us who travel have gotten accustomed to this nicety. We didn't have them on the way back from Ukraine and all of us were so bummed. It wasn't as bad as any of us thought because at least we were seated together. However, this trip I'm traveling by myself. So I'm bringing books and will be content with these should there not be other entertainment options. ; ) N.T. Wright's, Surprised By Hope, hopefully will keep me busy enough! I also found a memoir called, "The Butterfly Mosque" and Anne Lamont's 'new novel. Got to love the library.

As I've been preparing for the trip this week I'm feeling most excited about the people I'm meeting up with. There are so many! I have a ton to learn and I'm looking forward to being present with friends.

P.S. A little birdie told me that it would be appreciated if I let people know when I get home. I'll have to remember that this time!

Special Visit

2010-06-28T11:51:00.004-06:00

This past week my mom has come to visit me in Idaho. She has been so helpful around the house. I'd sleep in and she'd busy herself with projects like re-finishing a kitchen table we found at the Goodwill, fixing the blinds, watering the lawn, and feeding the stray cats. We've had a good time together and on Saturday got to go zip lining. I was surprised that this was HER idea. Very cool. She had never done it and when friends talked about it she decided she would see if we could set it up. We drove to McCall on Saturday and enjoyed the Shore Lodge and then Ice Cream Alley. We ventured down to Horseshoe Bend where Zip Idaho is. We were the last 2 people of the day. They typically have 10 people in a group. We had a group of 2. It was fun to do it as a mother daughter duo. I was a proud daughter. I'm not sure what was more fun...watching my mom zip line or actually zip lining. They were both fun on different accounts. We finished lip lining and then did something a bit crazy. (I know...not like zip lining wasn't "crazy") We drove all the back up to Tamarak...nearly back to McCall. My mom really wanted to see the ghost resort town. We had a rental car and had already paid for the tank of gas. We had the time and the car to do it with.

Manchester: Cold go away!!

2010-05-30T07:41:00.003-06:00

Yesterday morning I arrived at a hotel in Manchester. I had originally planned to stay with my friends for the whole time I was here. However, my friend had to make a trip to the USA. I decided to take advantage of my need to get some RandR and check into a hotel. This isn't the kind of trip to England I'd hope to repeat. Being sick in Europe isn't my first choice. It is what it is. However, it has been nice that I've been able to take some down time to rest as I need it. Yesterday I watched TV, read and slept. I watched Britian's Got Talent, Eurovision and then a special on Susan Boyle. I find it interesting that the big shows of the week are on Saturday. What if American Idol were on Saturday night? Would anyone watch it in the US? Maybe so.

I was planning on going out on the town today but darn it I'm feeling worse today that I was yesterday. Go away cold, go away! Ok, so another day in a hotel sleeping, reading, drinking fluids, and watching British TV. I can handle this quite well. I am really looking forward to being home...in Nampa!! But until then I'll drink in the rest and hope my system will finally decide it is done with whatever it is fighting and be better for the return flight home!

I'm reading Brian Mc Laren's new book, A New Kind of Christianity. If I'm hauled up in a hotel room at least I've got some good reading material. Good stuff Brian!! In one of the opening chapters on scripture he talks about a time when he lined up people on the cuff to help us consider how Greco-Roman our view of scripture has been vs the view of scripture using the voices of scripture (Adam, Abraham...Jesus). As I read I thought to myself, "I think I was there when he did that and our group had that conversation!"

I'm enjoying his telling of how to think about the Biblical narrative. He writes: "God's unfolding drama is not a narrative shaped by the six lines in the Greco-Roman scheme of perfection, fall, condemnation, salvation, and heavenly perfection or eternal perdition. It has a different story line entirely. It's a story about the downside of "progress" -- a story of human foolishness and God's faithfulness, the human turn toward rebellion and God's turn toward reconciliation, the human intention toward evil and God's intention to overcome evil with good." (54) And in light of just finishing Tutu's book on Goodness Brian writes, "Good has the first word, and good has the last." The good is God's good.

Manachester Friday

2010-05-28T14:31:00.002-06:00

What a great day! My cold lingers on but today it feels like it is turning a corner. I had a great time today with Sarah and Josh Derck. Sarah and I went to her school and work--Nazarene Theological College. We met up with Deidra Brower Latz and headed out to the village center for coffee. I enjoyed the company and conversation. It was definitely the highlight of my week to be sitting at a coffee shop with 2 awesome ladies. We talked church, theology, and PhD studies. We talked about the need for rest. It seems to be a common theme not just in my own life but for so many in academia and ministry! Yet here in the UK they at least have a culture that supports rest more than in the US. Tea time...more holidays...longer vacations....shorter work days....less emphasis on efficiency.... very interesting!

I love the little village Sarah lives in! Everything is within walking distance. It reminds me so much of Korea except her village has so much beauty. The gardens here are wonderful. We picked up her son after school and I was pretty amazed by all the parents there waiting for school to let out. It was fun to see the people of the village meeting and talking as they waited for their kids.

Sarah volunteered to watch her friends new born baby girl this evening. While she was packing for her trip to the USA I was put in charge of the little 3 week old girl. Ok, so it was fun! I'm not going to lie. In one hand I'm holding the little girl because earlier she had started crying and with the other hand I'm searching for an e-mail for Gene. : ) She was just fine!

I had Fish and Chips for dinner and then Ben and Jerry's for dessert. It was the quintessential English dinner with the quintessential American dessert. Great!

Manchester w/ Friends

2010-05-27T16:01:00.002-06:00

I called this one right!I'm so glad to be with friends after the mission trip rather than gallevanting around Europe. I've been sick and the need for sleep has been even grater than I imagined. Something in me knew I was going to need some R and R after the mission trip. I had no idea how true this would prove to be. Thank God I listened to the voice in me saying--be in one place, visit friends, get rest. I'm still very much under the weather so it has been so nice to be with friends with no expectation to have to do anything. In between sleeps I've really enjoyed the company!!

Today my friend Sarah and I ventured out to the city center of Manchester. We decided to stay close so that I could return home if I felt like I needed to. I've enjoyed hearing how she and Josh are experiencing the culture here. Sounds like there is so much for the U.S. to learn from the U.K.! Like private bus companies! We went inside the Manchester Cathedral and visited a pub where John Wesley supposededly visited. It was good to see the city. I was surprised by the number of people out and about in the middle of the day and I was surprised by the beer consumption out in the open during mid-day. We ate a late lunch in a pub. Something in me loves the fact that we ate in a "bar" while knowing that the English pub is so much more than a bar. A couple of guys asked us if we go clubbing...um...no, we don't! That shut down the conversation pretty fast. I think we were both grateful. When we returned home I took a long nap! Nice! This is my speed!

Ending of a Ultra Marathon!

2010-05-26T05:35:00.002-06:00

May 25--Tuesday

This Ukraine Mission Trip was an ultra marathon! Especially the last part! I have had maybe 8 hours of sleep in the last 72 hours….maybe 7. The descent into Frankfort was incredibly painful on my plugged up head! I‘ve never experienced that kind of ear ache! I probably had a fever this morning. I don‘t have much of a voice! Good thing I don‘t have to talk much today! Thank you Dan for sharing so much this trip---even your cold! : )

The students, Dan and I all went our separate ways this morning. Dan is currently heading back to Boise with 2 students. I’m on my way to Manchester, England to get some R and R and to visit seminary friends. All the other students are off into the city today and dispersing across Europe tonight and tomorrow. They are hugely excited but there was a sense of sadness in them today as I watched them say goodbye to each other. We have been through so much together. God has been so real in us and through us. We’ve created strong bonds between one another…and now we are no longer together. It has been 3 days of goodbyes. I’m so so grateful for what has transpired in the last few weeks. Even though I’m wiped and under the weather my heart is so full. A group of 7 of us will meet up on June 1 to fly back to Boise. I’m looking forward to that time with great anticipation. They are sure to have stories of great adventures to tell.

We’ve pretty much been going 3 days non stop with much activity and very, very little sleep. I can‘t say I‘ve ever had such little sleep in a 3 day period. We had a wonderful farewell day with the church in Vypnarka on Sunday. We then boarded a train at 12:30am and arrived into Kyiv at 6:30am. I got a few hours of sleep on the train, I think. We toured Kyiv all day Monday. Most of us got an hour of sleep Monday night before we boarded vans to head for the airport at 2:30am! Frankly, it has been brutal! Dan and I were wiped at the airport this morning. It sure was nice that our flight went as expected. I slept almost the entire flight from Kyiv to Frankfort and hope to sleep the entire flight to Manchester!

I’m looking forward to catching up with myself this week!

May 26 --Wednesday

The plane ride from Frankfort to Manchester was full of sleep. As we descended into Manchester I experienced the worst earache I've ever had...it was worse than the Frankfort flight. I think the guy next to me thought I was odd as I was squirming in my seat. I could barely hear once we landed. This made customs and passport control very interesting. I had to listen very carefully. It was like I had noise canceling headphones on.

My friends Sarah and Josh picked me up at the airport and took me to their home. They had to return to work. I proceeded to sleep from about 3pm to about 8am in the morning. They told me dinner would be around 6pm and I figured I'd join them or foresure see them in the evening. I was dead to the world! When I woke up I could hear so much better!

I'm very much looking forward to a great week with my friends and then some more RandR this weekend. I hope to have this cold gone before I get on another plane! I feel so blessed to be able to spend a few days with Josh and Sarah. Good conversations are on their way and good rest has already begun. Tonight I get to take part in their small group. I'm excited.

Kyiv: Un-ending Day

2010-05-26T05:33:00.000-06:00

May 24 -- Monday
We got into Kyiv early this morning after an all night train ride. Oh, the night train! I was able to catch a few hours of sleep. Thank goodness we had “beds” to sleep on. The train was by no means the provider of a comfortable night sleep but it was much better than nothing. I had the train bathroom experience and was thoroughly grossed out by the urine all over the floor. There isn’t a smooth ride and at one point as I was standing up I almost fell. I didn’t want to touch anything. Now I know why there is urine all over….no one can stand well in the bathroom! I’d much prefer an outhouse!! Colleen Skinner told us that this was the “good bathroom”. We had flushing toilet. Gross, gross, gross….

We were back to city life!! We rode the bus and metro ! My how I miss good public transportation. I sure enjoyed riding public in Kyiv today. And because yesterday was Pentecost today was a holiday in the city. This meant less traffic on the streets!

We visited the Chernobyl Museum in Kyiv. This was a special experience for me. Over the last few years I have such an interest in the story of human tragedy and redemption and so getting to enter into the story of Chernobyl today was an experience I feel so grateful for. Entering in the Museum was entering into the story of the crisis. When you walk into the building there were signs hanging from the top of the building representing the many villages emptied because of the crisis. There is an area with a radius of 30kilometers that is “dead land”. Imagine that! I’ve been to Hiroshima but I didn’t realize how different the problem of Chernobyl is from the U-bomb. The problems of Chernobyl are much longer in scope!

Also I had never connected the 1986 Chernobyl explosion with the beginning of the end of the USSR. Bob Skinner, a Nazarene missionary, joined us for the whole day today and he explained much of the history and happenings around the Chernobyl events. I was 7 when this happened and all of our students were not even born. We watched this video of a parade happening in Kyiv just a few days after the explosion. The film itself revealed the high level of radiation present in the air of Kyiv. (There were flashes of light in the film which Dan explained as film exposure due to the radiation in the air) There is no way people should have been out and about let alone celebrating in a parade. No one from the communist government was telling the people about the deathly amounts of radiation in the air. Criminal!! There even wasn’t even mentioned in their papers until 3 days after the fact and the mention got a little paragraph on page 3 of the news paper. The rest of the world knew…but the people that would be affected by it…killed by its effects were not told. The horrible handlings of the Chernobyl event and the widespread suffering as a result opened the common people’s eyes to the lies of the government.

As we talked to the Ukrainian people this past week I sensed mixed emotion related to the fall of communism. Some see the benefits they had back then hat are now missing such as healthcare, paid for education, food, etc. Others told of how Communism created an extreme hunger for spiritual things. So when it fell and people were free to search beyond communism some have returned to their Christian roots. Christianity is 900 plus years strong in Ukraine! Communism was only 80 years strong.

After the Chernobyl Museum and a quick bite to eat we journeyed by metro to the Labra Russian Orthodox church. I had to hear a head covering and a “very cute” skirt. They have 4 different mummified saints in the recesses of the structure. Because today was a Christian holiday there were a mass of people visiting the church.

We had a very special dinner experience tonight. We went to a Soviet era restaurant. We must have been there for 3 hours. There were 5-6 courses and live music. Most of us were so tired it was hard to really appreciate the experience. But we asked for coffee and even me, who hardly ever drinks caffeine, had an espresso. I’m not sure it had much of an effect but the students didn’t have that glazed over look! The musicians were awesome. On of them played the accordion but it was a different kind of accordion than I’ve seen in The States. The food was awesome too. Before this trip I was turned off to beets. You couldn’t pay me to eat them. But we’ve had a couple of excellent dishes with beets while here in Ukraine. We had authentic Borsch tonight and it was possibly the best thing I ate in our 8 days here. Since I’m fighting a cold the spice and citrus of the dish was very pleasing!

After we finished dinner we headed to Bob and Coleen Skinners. They prepared dessert for us. Their youngest son turned 13 today so we had a little birthday party for him. It was nice to be with them one last time. And we needed something to do to keep us going! One of our students was in need of making a flight change and while at the Skinners we were able to make those arrangements. Technology is a wonderful thing!!

We left the Skinners around 10pm. We had 4 plus hours until we needed to head to the airport. We returned to the church to pack, shower and catch a bit of a nap. We managed to get in one last debrief. I was dead!! After being up so many hours and because I’m fighting a nasty cold all I wanted to do was lie down. We managed to get in one last debrief with the students. All of us had to work hard to “be there”. We managed. Dan and I did the final video diary and then I finally was able to lie down. I think I slept for an hour before I got up to be ready to leave. Airport bound! We said our sad goodbye to Dena, our Ukrainian friend and trip translator and to Dougie, our Scottish friend and team member.. Both Dena and Dougie have been full fledged members of our team in the Ukraine. They meshed so well with the group. They will be missed hugely!

Vypnarka Day 9: Last Day Celebration and Goodbyes

2010-05-26T03:25:00.001-06:00

May 23 -- Sunday

Today was our last day in Vypnarka. We had a wonderful day of celebration with the church. There is a sense of sadness, however, in that we are leaving. There is also a sense of relief too. We’ve worked very hard and many of us are ready for the niceities of “normal life”. I look forward to a bed for instance.

Church went for 3 hours today. Last week’s service didn’t even go for 2 hours. We heard testimonies from people in the church. I enjoyed hearing how God has been at work in some of their lives. One of them men from the recovery center shared how God has been working in his life and how thankful he has been for the people at the recovery center. One of our students accidently hit Ira with a Frisbee yesterday. She came to church today with a black eye. She testified to her gratefulness that it didn’t hit her eye straight on. (I think we were grateful with her!!) Scott and I gave our testimonies too. I enjoyed this! Our group sang 2 songs for the church--Be Thou My Vision and Lord I Lift Your Name on High. Song has played a significant role in this mission trip. The kids love to sing, the Ukrainian people love to sing, and our gift of songs has been received with such thankfulness. I’ve never known song to be so loved and appreciated as I’ve experienced to be here.

Today was Pentecost. I love that I was in a Ukrainian Nazarene Church with a mission team from NNU on Pentecost. As the passage from Acts was being read I reviewed it in English. I was struck by how unified our group had become this week with the Ukrainian church. We haven’t understood each others language like what happened on the day of Pentecost, however we have understood something of each others hearts much like they did on that first day of Pentecost.

After lunch almost all of us took a walk to visit Babushka Marushka. She is the grandma of the former pastor of Vynarka Nazarene Church. Dan and a few students had visited her on Friday when all of us experience our home visit. She has been homebound for 6 months due to a broken leg and asked if the whole group would come to visit. Of course! She was hilarious! She danced with Dan at the end. We sang for her and she loved it. As we were leaving she wanted to point us in the direction of a nearby pond. (she called it a lake) Instead of pointing to it she ended up walking the whole way with us. It was the first time in a year that she had walked to the lake. We were a bit concerned that this was going to be too much…but how do you tell a Babushka no? She was determined to go with us an be with us. Some of the students got to hear her talk about her life during the Nazi occupation. Her families house was used as a safe house for Russian soldiers who were fighting the Nazi’s. She remembers her whole village being taking over by the Nazi’s.

For dinner we had a special celebration with the whole church. There was much food, great sharing of hearts, exchanging of gifts and a lot of dancing! Yes, Nazarenes from Ukraine, Scotland and the USA danced together. Maybe this ought to become a Pentecost practice! ; ) We had a blast together. I missed out of the Scottish dancing that happened a little later. The pastor gave me a wall hanging of the Lord’s Prayer written in Ukrainian. What a cool gift! He said that after we visited the family on Thursday and after we had shared our hears with them (I had talked about the Lords Prayer) that he had stayed with them for several hours. And yesterday one of the ladies called him to talk.

All week there has been a special “someone” in my life. : ) The Vypnarka church has this cat named Sasha and for some reason this cat took an incredible special liking to me. She was for me this week a means of grace. She is pregnant and all week we were hoping we’d get to see her kittens. It didn’t happen--which is probably ok since if she would have had them I think she very well cold have made a mess on my stuff! This cat would follow me during the day and in the evenings come find me. Several times she’d come in at night and sleep next to my head. I’d wake up to a cat purring right beside me. When I’d rest in the room she come and jump on my lap. It was pretty incredible. I joked with the group at our last debrief in Vypnarka that I was considering committing my first criminal act---stealing the cat! So on Sunday night I sadly said my last goodbyes to Sasha too. And not to my surprise she came and found me. She snuggled up in my lap as we all gathered to share what had happened in our day and as we shared what God had been calling us to. Maybe God’s calling me to get a cat. Ha. If I knew it would be like Sasha, I’d do it…

We boarded the train bound for Kyiv at 12:30am. The core group from the church accompanied us. This was a goodbye full of great emotion. As we waved goodbye to the pastor, the men from the recovery center, and the ladies from the church there were tears. We all have experienced the grace of God at work in our lives this week. A lot of work was accomplished but a lot of connection happened too. We are going to be missed, no doubt. And they will be missed too! Thanks be to God for the connections that were made with the people in Vypnarka.

Vypnarka: Day 7 and 8

2010-05-22T02:58:00.000-06:00

May 21-22

Yesterday was our last day of labor. It was a slower day for all of us. No complaining here! We worked on finishing a room we had spackled and painted. The students began cleaning the floor (since we didn’t cover the tile floor when we spackled and painted). We worked on sorting and organizing the clothes and supply room. We got to see where Nazarene Compassionate Ministry banana boxes go to. This church has a ton of them. And as we sorted through some of the stuff we realized that much of what we’ve been using this week was donated through NCM of the COTN. We did wonder together why there are so many banana boxes full of stuff just sitting in a room waiting. What are they waiting for? Are the clothes wanted in this area? Are they saving if for something in particular? It is easy to ask such question as an “outsider”. We learned that this room full of stuff used to be the first sanctuary of the church. It has no windows. It was also designed as the bomb shelter. And this was the room where drugs were made. The first pastor of the church used to make and sell drugs in the very room that he’d preach in after he was saved and called to pastor!

Food, food, and more food. Yesterday’s theme (and today’s) has been food and more food. Yesterday we ate lunch at 1pm and then we all split up and went to different homes. We had thought we’d be going to different homes for dinner but it seems this was too much for the people. They were so nervous that we wouldn’t like their food. So instead of putting the pressure on them to make a meal for us we just went over for tea and sweets. Except my house got a full meal! My group went to Ira’s. She is a woman we’ve spent the whole week with. She has worked so hard alongside of us. When we arrived she asked us if we were hungry. One of the students said, “Yes”. (I’m thinking…well no because we literally just ate lunch). So Ira made us really tasty homemade pizza. We had a blast at her home with her two daughters. We saw kittens in their apartment complex and we visited the community well. It sure was a gift to get to go into Ira’s home. She has been like a mom to our team all week.

Today….Saturday….I can hardly believe it. We got up to rain….again! I’ve managed to catch a cold so this morning was slow going for me. At about 9am all of us loaded a bus with Pastor Igor, the cooks, and several people from the church. This was out Sashlik Day. Dan has been raving about the Ukrainian BBQ since February. As we drove to our destination the Ukrainian’s sang and I was told they were praying for the weather to change for us. When we got to the park we had sun and blue sky! We had an incredible day of good food and great rest all in a beautiful environment. I was grateful to get the chance to lie down and listen to the sounds of nature…eventually it became listening to the sounds of Chip snoring…but it was still restful! The park where we spent the day used to be a Soviet Training camp. Students spent summers there getting indoctrinated on communist philosophy.

Vypnarka Day 6: Best Experience!

2010-05-21T03:19:00.002-06:00

May 20

Brick tiles…I think we are going to be dreaming in brick tiles for weeks to come. Today began with more work on the outside of the church. We continued in our attempts to rid the church of these brick tiles. Pastor Igor ordered us to stop. I’m not sure why. I am sure that we were all relieved. It was taking us so much time and energy for little result. I think we are all appreciating the access to the “right” tools we most often have while at home. Chip and Mark had some success with a sledge hammer and ax. The tile and mortar was coming of fine. It helps that Chip had the sledge hammer and his 6’5” frame!

When the pastor freed us from our brick work we were sent to finish dismantling the brick fence behind the church. We’ve been working on this project little by little each day. Today we finished it. It is so much more satisfying when you can see the results of your labor. At least this was how I felt. It has felt odd all week dismantling what to me looked like a perfectly fine stone brick fence. The fence is near a walking path parallel to the train tracks. People have been stealing bricks one by one. I think the plan will be to eventually build a new fence. We do what they tell us to do…how they tell us to do it. It has been a discipline of humility! Although we’ve been asked to take a rest several times this week but we tell them “we’ve come to work”. The pastor and parishioners sure have cared for us well this week!

I haven’t mentioned much about the food here. WOW! I’ve loved it. I’m going to need to work out hard when I get home. We’ve joked that this isn’t the mission trip to lose weight on. : ) The soups for lunch have been wonderful and by far my favorite part of the cuisine here. We are being fed way more than we need or more than most of us can eat. The dishes this week have had a lot of potatoes. We’ve had a lot of milk products too--sour cream, cheese, milk, etc. They’ve fried fish and chicken. We’ve had dishes made from oatmeal and barley. The other day they made a beet salad. I’ve never liked beet anything before this trip. The way they cook the beets here must be different than they way we process our beets. So far I’ve tried everything here but one thing--raw pork. I think I’ll stay away from that. They’ve spoiled us with sweets of a large variety after lunch and dinner.

Lunch today we fun for my table. Losha, one of the Ukrainian guys, was a whole lot more open. He was full of questions and so were we. Earlier in the day he had asked me if I thought Obama was a Muslim. At lunch we learned more about the economic hardship happening in Ukraine. Losha was surprised that the US has also been experiencing hard economic times.

After lunch we finished our work on the dismantling fence project. It feels great to have finished one project. We had hoped that the playground equipment was going to arrive after lunch. However, that equipment didn’t make it. It is coming from Kyiv and the truck broke down on the way here. So we are hoping it will arrive tomorrow morning. It is hope….but we are not sure it will. We sure would like to see that project to the end. It would be disappointing to not get to help finish this project. However, I’m sure that with the church folks and the men we’ve been working with from the recovery center could more than handle the job. It might be something we have to release to them. How exciting this will be for the church!

Our students taught about Jonah today for Kids Club. Dan worked some this afternoon to teach a few of us how to make a Jonah in the whale balloon animal. The kids loved the balloons. We taught the kids how to say body parts today. Liz lead the group in the “head, shoulders knees and toes song”. I think it was our most fun English lesson to date. Once the kids got a handle on the English they taught us the Ukrainian words. (and the kids did a whole lot better with English than we did with Ukrainian)

While the students went out to the evening sports outing I stayed in to take advantage of time to get clean (and warm)! Dan spent some mission money today to help the church buy a water pump. What a difference a pump makes. It is going to be a nice addition for the church and future teams will enjoy it too. Our guys have been taking “drip” showers. (The girls have had water pressure enough to wash hair with patience) But now the water pressure is strong… hurray, hurray, hurray! And you can imagine what showering with drips (on the guys side) smells like after all the hard work they’ve been doing! So we’ll be smelling so much better from here on out….I hope.

A few of us went with Pastor Igor this evening to another village to pray with a family. We walked down a cobble stone road as the sun was setting to get there. Although we’ve been working alongside Ukrainian’s all week it was tonight that I was reminded that I am in a different country--a place I’ve never been before. It was nice to see another part of this small town. The home we visited seemed like a farm house. In fact cheese was hanging in cloth in the entry way. Geese poop littered the concrete walk way. We took our shoes off and were escorted into a room (with a bed) that was awaiting our arrival. We were so excited to see someone we knew. Natasha, one of the girls from Kid’s club was there. We were in Natasha’s home! This is Nathasha’s family. After feeling very much like a tourist at Disneyland because of the way Pastor Igor encouraged us to get pictures with Grandma we introduced ourselves to the family.

We each shared something about how we came to know Jesus. Then they told us some about themselves too. Some of them were shy. Could you blame them? If you allowed 5 American strangers who didn’t speak your language into your home and didn‘t feel shy, I‘d be surprised! A neighbor lady shared that she works as a teacher and a painter. Grandma shared that 24 days ago she lost her husband. She is only 60 years old. Then since the other 3 ladies were so shy Tasha who seemed to be the head of the house started giving the background for everyone else. We learned that Natasha only lives in this home because her parents are alchoholics and not able to care for her. Tasha said that Natasha is her “helper”. We’ve seen Natasha all week having a great time, laughing and playing with the other girls. None of us could have guessed her story and it makes me wonder what the other stories are. Pastor Igor thanked us for being together. He prayed for the family and then before we left I asked if we could pray the Lord’s Prayer together. We prayed the Lord’s Prayer in 3 languages--Russian, Ukrainian and English. It was a very cool experience. I shared that the “Our” in “Our Father” just got bigger. When I pray “Our Father” from now on they will be apart of that prayer. So far the moments we spent in Natasha’s home hold the most power for me. We connected deeply and I was so grateful that we had a translator to help make the connection possible. I was grateful for Pastor Igor’s invitation and for the people’s willingness to let us into their private space.

We can’t believe tomorrow is Friday! Happy sad…. Most of us are ready for the work days to end… I’ve not done as much manual labor in a 5 day period of time maybe ever! I’ll be honest, the students and Dan (especially) are working circles around me! I must say I’m enjoying the relationship aspects of this trip way more than the labor. Yet I see how the work is the “vehicle” for the relationships forming between myself and the students as well as the group and the Ukrainians. It is a great thing!

Vypnarka Day 5: Sun!!!

2010-05-19T13:25:00.001-06:00

May 19
“In the heavens he has set a tent for the sun which comes out like a bridegroom from his wedding canopy, and like a strong man runs its course with joy. Its rising is from the end of the heavens and its circuit to the end of them and nothing is hidden from its heat.”

We saw the sun today!!! I was beside myself with joy. Last night I begged God for sunshine. I’m confident he heard my prayer and I while I’m not sure he gave us the sun today because I asked--I was grateful! (As an understatement) So this morning when I read Psalm 19 speaking of nothing being hidden from the heat I was hopeful.

We worked more today on taking down brick tiles from the church building. It is beginning to feel like we are making progress. There were some anxious moments for me as I watched some of our students climb a wooden ladder on to the church roof today. There have been several moments this trip where I’ve felt uncomfortable with the tools we have. But then again we are in Ukraine and standards are different. And I’ll just be grateful that the sketchy looking ladder worked for us.

We have crossed over “hump day” today. We have 2 out of our 5 work days down. There were points of little motivation occurring for all of us. Even so, however, there still wasn’t any complaining. I’m just really impressed with our students. They are still giving all they have even thought today all we had to give was less than yesterday. I really enjoyed conversations with students today. The moments of hammering tiles together…feeling like we were getting nowhere but talking about life rank right up there with the best of the trip for me. It is cool how on the day when everyone is exhausted I felt the connection especially strong.

Students had a chance in the morning to visit the village market. We saw butchered meet in slabs on metal counters and like one would expect there was a “wonderful” aroma. It was fun to see what kinds of things people buy here. Lot of grains, candies, beans, and soaps. It was like an outdoor Wallmart and the community gathering point of the week. Today we were reminded that we are in a village…not a city! As we are getting to know the village better I’ve come to realize how significant the location of the church is. The Nazarene church is central to everything! And now I understand how important this kids play area is going to be. It could make a huge impact on the village for this church to have a communal play center. What a cool way of being hospitable to the community.

We again did Kids club. We had to speed it up today in order to be ready for a visit to an orphanage associated with the Nazarene Church here. Once we finished Kids Club we took a walk into town and found the orphanage. We made balloon animals and then shared songs. The kids sang for us and then we sang for them. We asked the questions and they reciprocated. They asked, “What kind of car do you drive?” “How old are you?”

It has been another good day here. I found out about fun plans for Saturday….we were asked to pray for a bus so that we can travel together for a special experience.

Vypnarka Day 4: Sun Please

2010-05-19T13:21:00.000-06:00

May 18

I am ready for summer and ready for the sun to peak out from behind the clouds. This California girl is tired of being cold!! : ) Our first day in Vypnarka was wonderful and warm. But every day since has been gloomy and cold. We’ve been fortunate so far to not have much rain. This at least is allowing us the opportunity to work outside.

We are learning how to say, “That is different, and that is OK.” One of our work projects has me saying this. The students enjoyed it. We are taking off the tiles from the outside of the church building. It is a brick building to begin with and has tiles on the outside. Our task today was to remove as many of the brick tiles as we can. Hammers, crow bars and drills were going strong for most of the day. It feels to me like we are just making a mess. I much prefer creating something to destroying something. But in this instance it will be future teams, future groups or church members that will see the fruit of our labor. How often does someone invite you to take a hammer to a building?

There is a cold beginning to go through our team. A couple of us today were out of commission with it. We are all dealing differently with colds, culture shock and fatigue. I got a nap today and was very content. I’ve been dragging some today. But I was on time for Breakfast today! I was a little late to breakfast yesterday and got a hard time from Dan. Quite the jokester, that one! One of they guys took cold medicine PM and was out the entire afternoon. I’m pretty impressed with the group energy.

Some fun connections are happening. There were some more significant connections between our students and the men from the recovery center. I can tell the men from the center are enjoying themselves. They joined us for the whole day today including lunch and dinner. We are getting to hear more of their stories and they are beginning to inquire about us. I‘m grateful for those helping us with translation. Also during our kids club I noticed the kids warming up to us. They didn’t want the club to end and stayed around to try and talk to us. My favorite part of this week so far has been the interaction with the kids. They have such pure fun with such simple games. I’ve enjoyed laughing and watching our students laugh with the kids. I think they’d be around all day with us if they could be. I could see future trips having a larger kids club-- English lesson, Bible and games emphasis. We were not prepared…not as much as we could have been…but we are having a blast despite that.

We celebrated a Birthday today. Nathan turned 21 and one of the men from the recovery center gave him a wood carving. It was a special moment for Nathan. They sang to him in Russian and then prayed for him. It was very cool.

Well, I’m praying for sun! : ) I might have to wait until Nampa! Maybe I’ll get lucky and get some before.

We do not have much access to internet. When I get to Kiev I’ll see if I can upload some pictures.

Vypnarka: Day 3

2010-05-18T02:07:00.005-06:00

May 17

We worked long and hard today. We accomplished a ton! We started on the kids play area. This is behind the church. It is going to be surrounded by tires. The cool thing about today’s work was that in almost all of it we had Ukrainian partners. The men from the recovery center showed us all up. They are incredible workers. However, so are our students!

As the digging and sod clearing was happening outside on the inside of the church we were sanding down walls in preparation for mud and paint. We lost “our ping pong room” but hey….. One of the Ukrainian men taught some of our guys how to spackle.

Later on in the day we had 15 kids show up to our kids club. The student taught a lesson on David and Goliath. Chip was Goliath and a little boy was David. Our students invited the little boy to through an orange ping pong ball at Chip. He aimed perfectly and Chip-Goliath fell to the ground. : )

We underestimated the kids English ability. The students planned a lesson on colors. But the kids already know the colors. We had fun anyways and even learned some Russian in the process.

The games for the kids went over really well. We had 2 games planned but the kids asked for more and more.

In the evening our guys returned to the soccer field and played against some Ukrainian youth. They lost but had fun. It sounds like there is a standing match from here on out once dinner is finished.

Our students (and our leaders) are showing signs of fatigue but we are having a fun time. There is a lot of snoring going on in the guys room which is keeping some of the guys from getting quality sleep. Oh the joys of communal living.

Tomorrow I’m not sure what we are going to do but I impinge more of the same.

Vypnarka: Day 2

2010-05-18T02:06:00.001-06:00

May 16

We started the morning with breakfast and a time of devotions. It was my turn to lead devotions today. We did some Lectio Divina with Ephesians 1: 15-23. And then I read some from a book I’ve been reading this trip. Right before I left got Desmond Tutu’s new book, “Made for Goodness”. He writes on his chapter on perfection and wholeness this:

“But God’s call to be perfect is not just a command--it is an invitation. It is an invitation to something possible. It is an invitation to something life-giving, to something joy-creating, God invites us to a Godly perfection. Godly perfection is not flawlessness. Godly perfection is wholeness. …. We can learn some of the contours of wholeness from people who fully inhabit their own lives regardless of he circumstances of their lives.” (pg 43)

I’m captivated by this idea of “inhabiting our own life”. What other life is there to inhabit?

We joined the worship service. Two of our students gave their testimonies and we all sang in front to the church. That was loved by the people. It really is great how simple things mean so much to people.

After church we shook people’s hands and received hugs and more hugs from the women of the church. We are being welcomed with open arms….literally. We haven’t “done much” yet but it is clear that our presence here is making an impact on people.

This afternoon our team visited the recovery center for men. The center is a small house behind the Nazarene church. It has been operating for 6 years. About 200 men have gone through the 6 month recovery program. 40 of them are now in some kind of ministry or service to God. Currently there are 6 men who are living at the center. I was so impressed by their willingness to share their stories with us. Four of the men shared their journey to freedom and new life. Most of them lost their families and friends because of their addictions. Talk about people who are journeying to inhabit their own lives. They are getting their lives back. The men who have been at the center for along time looked younger and healthier. It is amazing to me how alcohol and drug addictions damage a person physically.

Earlier in the day one of the students and I were talking about what Tutu wrote in “Made for Goodness”. Tutu wrote, “A life of wholeness can meet failure as the wisest teacher. A life of wholeness can accept flaws and vulnerabilities as doors to relationship. If we can do all things flawlessly, we have no need of anybody else.” (49) The student and I reflected on how interesting it is that our vulnerabilities in life and even our flaws invite us to consider changing and that change, when it is change to the good, often invites us to wholeness. So it was so fitting that the guys at the recovery center gave witness to how their own failures became their “wisest teacher“. As the guys spoke I heard them talk about the doors of relationships that have opened up in their lives because they’ve decided to inhabit their lives. They’ve decided to stare their flaws and vulnerabilities in the face (and allow others to stare at them too).

It has been a full day of being immersed with the church and the ministry of the church. I even got to get out and run with one of our students. I celebrate anytime I can get exercise.

Tomorrow we begin our playground and painting projects. We’ll have our first kids camp too. The journey continues.

Vypnarka Day 1

2010-05-18T02:03:00.001-06:00

Saturday May 15

Our first day without travel! We didn’t take a train, bus, or plane today. No complaining here. We are staying at the Varpnyarka Church of the Nazarene. It is a building that was given to the church by the city. The structure used to be the Communist community center. Slowly the church is upgrading the building. It was in shambles when they inherited it but it currently has a sanctuary, kitchen, meeting room, bathrooms and several classrooms. The pastor let us see the large auditorium that used to be used for rallies, plays and musical productions. There are still communist symbols on the walls. The room needs a ton of work. Maybe someday it will be remodeled and full of Christians worshipping God. One day..

Our students today interacted with the children of the church. The students played games with the kids and hung out. We also made plans to do a Children’s “camp” beginning on Monday. We’ll be hosting the kids from the church and from the neighborhood for a Bible lesson, English lesson and games. The students have been hugely flexible in considering their options for getting involved. I’m impressed and proud. Each of them have signed up for ways they want to participate into next week.

This evening students went out to a near by soccer field to play soccer. They ended up meeting some neighborhood kinds. They decided to return for soccer on Monday evening. So there is another opportunity for connection coming. I’m appreciating the opening up of unplanned opportunity happening. It is good for all of us to sense God’s leading of this trip and our lives. The un-planned serendipity happens in life way more than we often name. So often we want to plan everything out but just think what we’d be mission already this week if we had only gone by the plan! God is opening up so much more as we take one step at a time together. We can not even guess what will happen next week…but I’m so excited to look back on what developed once something “develops”.

The food here has been wonderful!!! I’m so impressed with Ukrainian food. We had crepes for breakfast, homemade noodle soup for lunch and …ok…dinner was a bit different but it was ok too. For dinner we had a savory version of oatmeal. I liked it but I’m not sure it was a hit. All the other Ukrainian dishes have been hits.

Dan returned to our group today after staying back last night to deal with the computer. The computer arrived safely into the Kiev Airport. Dan and the missionary, Bob Skinner, went to the airport to fetch it last night. However, they customs agent wanted 44 percent tax custom tax to be paid. Dan and Bob were not willing so they left the airport. The missionary is going to return to the airport with extra help this week to see if they can get the computer without the ridiculous tax. If customs will not budge, Dan will take the computer back to the USA. We’ll see what transpires. We hope and pray something will break way to allow the computer out of customs without the very large fees. It was great to know, however, that it hadn’t been stolen or lost. Yeah!

Kyiv!!! Finally!

2010-05-18T02:02:00.000-06:00

Friday May 14

We had a great day of touring and experiencing the city today. We traveled to visit 2 Eastern Orthodox churches and then the WW2 Museum. It was a good day of encountering the story of the Ukrainian people. It was good for all of us to put our coming work with the Nazarenes in Vapnyarka into the context as it relates to Christianity and to WW2. Christianity is so old here! We talked some today of the cultural nature of the Orthodox church today. Even so, going into one of the beautiful sanctuaries was for me a very spiritual experience. There is so much beauty in their churches. I love how many paintings told the stories of the gospels and remember the lives of the saints. I wonder how many people are drawn into a deeper relationship with Christ through the ministry of the Orthodox church here?

The magnitude of struggle this people come through today as we walked through the WW2 museum. We were reminded that millions of people were killed in the USSR during WW2 compared to the hundreds of thousands killed in the US. As Americans we have little understanding of what it is like to have a world war fought on our soil. Yet everyone in the Ukraine knows this all too well….still. I had no idea that Ukraine was 100 percent occupied by the Germans in WW2. Not too far from where we are staying Hitler had his bunker. A large numbers of Jews and Russian/Ukrainians were killed not all that far from the Nazarene Church in Kiev. Being here in the Ukraine has helped me see even more how expansive WW2 was in Europe.

We took a 5 hour train ride in the evening from Kiev to Varpnyarka. We had 3rd class tickets which meant we got to be in sleeper cars. I slept most of the time. The students had a great time together. I’m so glad we’ve experienced the train. It is the real Ukrainian experience!

Dan didn’t come with us on the train. He stayed back with the Skinners in order to deal with the computer. It arrived in Kiev today. He hopes to take care of this once and for all and will plan to met up with us tomorrow.

56 hours later....

2010-05-13T14:04:00.002-06:00

56 hours later we are in Kiev. Yeah!!! It feels so great to finally make our destination. We enjoyed the Sheraton Hotel, the delicious buffet dinner and breakfast and then our first flight of the journey that was on time. Imagine that!

We arrived to Kiev minus one bag. It happens to be the computer we brought for the missionaries that is missing. Dan Lawrence spent nearly 3 hours dealing with the missing computer before we were able to leave the airport. More waiting.... We hope and pray that it will arrive tomorrow. May it not be a total loss. We shall see.

Joshua and Robin met us at the airport with big smiles. They picked us up in a huge van and as we traveled to the church we got an initial introduction to the city. THe high rises remind me of Korea. We will have a tourist day tomorrow and then board a train to head to our final destination city.

It is wonderful to finally be here. Students are content and there is excitement in the air. There is great laughter and relief.

Missed Connection Blessing

2010-05-12T19:54:00.000-06:00

We missed our connection in Munich but this ended up being a blessing! The challenge…getting 15 people to Kiev on another flight. When we arrived at the Munich airport we had missed our connection by more than an hour. The Lufthansa service center tried to find another route for us via Austria, Milan, Paris, etc. Nothing. At one point we were “hopeful” we’d get on a flight to Kiev via Austria that would land at 11pm in Kiev. This would have us traveling some 30 plus hours. There was no room. So the agent suggested we fly out tomorrow at 1pm. She said if we were ok with that she’d put us up in a hotel and provide us with dinner and breakfast. Dan Lawrence (the trip leader) and I looked at each other with disbelief and relief. They’d pay for a hotel and meals for 15 of us? Amazing. We could get some rest before heading to Kiev? Awesome. So what was a marathon turning ultra-marathon day ended abruptly at a Sheraton hotel. We are so grateful! Students were wiped out last night but we managed to eat dinner together and debrief the day. I imagine we will be a new group in the morning.

Today we intend to finish our journey to Kiev and then onto our final destination of Vapnyarka, Ukraine. The adventure continues.

Delayed ...Wait

2010-05-11T19:51:00.002-06:00

15 hours of "travel" and 4.5 hours of actual flying....and we are only in Washington D.C. I knew when we set out this morning at 5am that today would be an adventure. This day is surely living up to my expectations. We are on a roll...delay...wait...hope. That is the tenor of this frist day of Ukraine Mission Trip 2010. We are 2 of 4 flights in. The big one is next. We thought ash might keep us on the ground. It is plausible that ash was the original reason for our delay out of Dulles. But our plane was struck by lighening on its way into Dulles. So we wait while it is being checked over for any needed repairs. The flight attendants said over the loud speaker they hope to have us on our way by mid-night. But at the desk they say that they really have no idea when we'll be ready to go. So we are waiting. We are waiting with hope. We hope to leave sometime before this day turns into tomorrow. We hope to get to our destination...eventually. Even if we don't I get the feeling that this group is going to make the most of it. The students are having a good time...movies, cards, reading and laughing is what we are up to. I'll be ready for a nap on the plane. And lucky for us it is will likely be bed time when we eventually board the plane...that would be nice. We are now certain that we'll miss our connection in Munich which means that tomorrow is going to be filled with delay, wait and hope too.

And just as I'm finishing this post we got word that we are boarding in 15 minutes. Celebrate...2 hours before they expected! Fly, fly, fly....

Ukraine Bound....

2010-05-08T22:20:00.006-06:00

Tuesday is coming. I'm paying attention to the news related to Iceland's volcano ash. A group of 15 of us from NNU are Ukraine bound on Tuesday morning. We are going to be in the Ukraine for 2 weeks working in a small city. We think we'll be helping to build a play area for kids. As we have internet there I'll be posting related to our adventure.

Thursday we gathered to pack clothes and learn how to make balloon animals. The students had just finished finals and they had a ton of celebratory energy. Their excitement helped me connect with the idea that we are really going. It has been almost 2 years since I crossed the ocean! Here is hoping there are no dis-ruptions...

Krista Tippett's Interview with Desmond Tutu

2010-05-02T20:55:00.004-06:00

On my way home today I heard this gem of an interview. Click on the title above to access it. Desmond Tutu's perspective of the potential of human goodness is refreshing. And this perspective comes from one who has stared the capacity of human evil in the face. He said, "Original sin doesn't know much about racial discrimination." And neither does the image of God! He reflected on hope the center of what it means to be human and said, "If you are devoid of hope then roll over and disappear quietly." "At the center of this existence is a heart beating with love that you and I and all of us are incredible...we really are remarkable. We are made for goodness." "All of us even when we have degenerated know the wrong isn't what we should be doing." Can't wait to read his new book, "Made for Goodness".

CCCU International Forum--Saturday Morning

2010-02-28T17:33:00.002-07:00

Early Saturday morning almost everyone from the conference was making preparings to go to the airport. I was heading to the airport too… But I was going there to pick up a car for my own Georgia adventure. Here I thought the conference had ended. I had said my final goodbyes. On the way to the airport the president from Asbury College sat next to me. SHE and I talked. It was a significant conversation for me personally mostly because she is a president of a college who is also a woman. It was very early in the morning and I was so impressed that she took the time and expended the energy to connect with me. She didn't have to! She learned that I was new to higher education and had such encouraging words for me. She asked if I ever thought about doing a further degree. Well, yes I’ve thought of it but I've not felt like the time is now. She then talked about the incredible importance of experience. Experience is a great teacher. I totally agree!

Among other things I learned that Asbury College has a cross-cultural requirement. She had a big role in implementing this at their school. It was good for me to hear about how her school goes about this requirement for graduation. All week I was reminded that in all that I’m involved in at NNU there are others who have done it before or are currently doing it. It is nice to have a greater perspective for the network that exists in Higher Education. We have so much to learn not only within our own University contexts but there is so much to learn from others too!

CCCU International Forum--Friday

2010-02-26T17:33:00.002-07:00

It has been another full day here at the CCCU International Forum. There continued to be serendipitous moments.

Tim Elmore—Morning Session Devotion:
Yesterday we heard about “inhabiting time” and today Tim Elmore used the term “habitudes”. His basic message was, “Good leaders take what is cultural to say what is timeless.” He challenged the group to keep an eye on our purpose, i.e. God’s mission.

Wendy Kopp –Morning Session Keynote:
Wendy founded Teach For America. What an incredible story she embodies! As she was finishing her undergraduate work she began to realize that her “me generation” wasn’t as apathetic as everyone thought. Instead the problem was that they were not being called upon to serve. The hunch behind Teach For America was that indeed students would serve if they heard someone call them to service as well as provide an opportunity for them to serve. Are we calling our students to serve? And are we giving them some tangible ways to think about why they serve (the educational and social justice piece) as well as preparing them to serve (the spiritual formation and opportunity piece)?

When speaking about Teach for America Wendy said, “Our urgency is related to our optimism.” The felt urgency of the need for educational equality is driven by the conviction that it is actually possible to change people’s life trajectory through education. This quote struck me as I think about the theology of my own denomination. We have great optimism for the work of transforming grace in the life of human beings. If Teach for America can live forward with optimism despite the huge challenges and seeds of change they experience, can’t we? Does our optimism create urgency for us to both listen for God and participate in his activity in the world?

Educating Global Citizens vs. Training Global Nomads—Break Out Session:

I came away with a list of articles and books I want to add to my reading list. A good question asked at this session: “What happens if we allow our ‘homecoming’ to be the guiding metaphor for our educational praxis?” Study abroad and short-term missions often create a sense of homelessness in participants. Many of us go abroad, our lives are changed, and all we want to do is return abroad. There was something “over there” that seems more real than “back here”. So we return home only to begin to plan when we can leave again. The problem isn’t so much the plan making to return as it is a conscious or unconscious choice to not connect with the place we find ourselves---back at school or church or creating a whole new life. The great challenge is to learn how to make anywhere we reside into a home. One of the presenters who runs the study abroad in Australia said, “The magic isn’t in Australia, the magic is where YOU are.” The magic is there when we are present to our selves, God, others and our place no matter what “place” we find ourselves in. Again I’m convinced that a part of the integration piece for any of our time abroad must include a way to take what we’ve learned and put it into practice in our “homes”.

The speakers referred to students who go abroad for mission/study abroad as pilgrims rather than tourists. Tourists seek experiences and the end goal is their pleasure, and their desires. Tourists have barriers between themselves and the true life of the place they visit. Pilgrims however, “remove boundaries between themselves and the other”. They “set limits” for themselves on the way they live—this could be submitting to their cultural context or choosing a simple life upon return. Pilgrims are open to learning from the places they inhabit and tourists are just using the place to get the preconceive notions of what they came for. It occurs to me that students (or anybody really) can choose to be a pilgrim or a tourist in the University setting.

Lunch—Serendipity Conversation with Hamlet from Uganda

I sat next to a gentleman from Uganda during the mid-morning session. He has a name with many accolades around it. I’ll refer to him as Hamlet. Hamlet asked incredible questions and had some very insightful constructive criticism for the presentation we had both heard. I am reminded how easy it is to talk about mission to or with a different culture without really taking the other into account. In order to talk about the other, we so need to hear their voice!

After the session I struck up a conversation with Hamlet and he invited me to join him for lunch. We ventured off to find the box lunches and found a piece of carpet to sit on. This was a stretch for him he said. In Uganda the men do not sit on the floor! As we talked I realized I was sitting with a former member of parliament, the chaplain of the Parliament, and a chancellor of Universities in Uganda. He got his PhD at Fuller. I wish I could have recorded our conversation because he spoke so eloquently and I was hanging on every word. It is looking like I’ll be going to Uganda this summer and I’m hoping to meet up with him to learn more about his work there.

I walked away from the conversation with another connection in Uganda and 2 “learning’s”. 1) Finding out what we can “do” for anyone anywhere involves first and foremost and intentional relationship. Without relationship we are just charity givers. We want to create partnerships! 2) Issues such as human trafficking, terrorism, thievery, and prostitution involve a people who live in desperation. In order for these injustices to stop we have to look in the mirrors and ask, “how are we a part of the global system that is keeping the poor in desperation?” When there are no jobs and no affordable education the only thing left is…selling the only thing you have…. or stealing what isn’t yours… There is so much more needed than just stopping human trafficking or prostitution. There has to be a way of creating alternatives to help people out of their desperation.

International Justice Mission—Afternoon Breakout session
The session began with a video recorded interview with Nick Woltorstorff. This is a new name to me.

“Benevolence and charity can be an instrument of oppression unless justice is in the mix.” Nick Woltorstorff

The presenter gave a good description of the differences between justice and charity. Charity is something you are in control of and there is often an expectation of gratitude. Justice is often de-centered and involves a lack of control. You listen to the call coming to you from the other. It is a “response to the call of the presence of the other”.
Justice promotes peace or flourishing.

“Justice is on the ground floor of the diminution of people’s flourishing.”

After the video a panel of people from several Universities talked about the IJM chapter on their campus. I’m even more convinced that we need a chapter on our campus too. The IJM campus chapters serve as a place for student formation and education around issues of justice.

Evening Banquet/Session—Dr. John Perkins

There was so much about this session that I won’t put in words here and how. If there were any one voice at the conference that I wish my friends and colleagues and students could have heard….it was this one. There is good news. The session will be available soon.

One of the many “take-aways” form Perkins address exposed our new generation of students in a way that calls all of us to reconsider our own convictions. Perkins spoke about how he travels the country speaking to young people. He said we are at a point of crisis and opportunity. The crisis relates to the sate of our nation's economy and health care as two examples. The opportunity is the state of our young people. For the first time in United States history, Perkins suggested, we have a post-racist generation. Instead of fearing this generation of post-moderns we need to embrace them because within them is a people who are being primed to lead us in a new way of being. Perkins said that every time there is a movement it is when students/people enter into the pain of the people or the pain of the moment they live in. And from what he is gathering the students across our nation are more aware of the pains of the moment. There are not as many boundaries when it comes to catholic and protestant, black and white, democrat and republican. The up and coming generation doesn’t value the distinctions as much…they are integrating values rather than separating them out.

CCCU International Forum--Day 2

2010-02-25T22:00:00.004-07:00

What a full day! Conferences sure pack a lot into a very small window of time. I’m great-full. I’m grateful for the people I’ve become reintroduced to. I’m full to the brim with burgeoning ideas, thoughts and questions.

As I’ve listened and engaged in conversation today I’ve thought to myself, “Higher Education….I really think I'm going to love this.” I love being in a job in an environment where there is potential and hope for academia to interface with Christian formation and mission. And from what I’m hearing, the integration piece of Christian formation with the entire learning environment needs (possibly more) intentionality.

Lauren Winner--Morning Session:

I’ve wanted to read Lauren Winner’s books and didn’t realize I’d get to hear her speak today. She gave the morning devotion. She spoke about Lent. Good for her! She commented about how silly it is that we “fast” during a season meant for slowing down and paying attention. One year during lent she “fasted” from using monetary words to describe time--spend time, manage time, lose time, etc. Instead she used the term, “inhabit time”. I need to chew on this idea of “inhabiting time” a bit. I know we often treat time as a commodity rather than a home. Lent is a time when we “give ourselves to rest and fallowness.” Winner challenged us to think about the ways we inhabit time in our University settings. Is there a place for rest on our campuses? Or are we just an extension of the fast paced, overcommitted culture? Ouch. She talked about how we live and breath in a culture of insane productivity. Are we teaching our students anything different? Lent invites us to “dwell unproductively with God”. I wonder how it is that a college community inhabits time? What does it look like to choose to live and teach a rhythm of life that includes un-productivity, and rest? How can we help our students know a life that has any rhythm to it at all?

Francis Collins--Morning Session:

I must admit with a tinge of red in the face that I didn’t recognize at first who Francis Collins is. He is one of the fathers of the Human Genome Project. Now I remember…. I first learned of Francis Collins in my second semester of Biology at PLNU. My professor was Dr. Kerry Fulcher. It just so happened that I listened to Collins speak this morning with Dr. Fulcher.

Collins spoke about his journey to faith. What made his story so compelling is that he didn’t grow up in the church. He came to faith as a med student watching people dying. Those with faith died in peace and he knew that if he were dying he wouldn’t have that peace. He did such a good job of speaking to living with tensions—the tensions of science and faith. Collins talked about being a man of God’s works and God’s words. He supports the claims of Evolution because of the scientific evidence and he supports the mystery of God best known in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. For me it was a treat to listen to a world-class scientist present the case for his science and for faith in Christ and each complemented each other. And I’m impressed that the CCCU risked having him speak! Collins was a part of starting the BioLogos Foundation.

Spiritual Formation Through Study Abroad--Break Out Session 1:

This was a fascinating session. Cindy Toms Smedley from Notre Dame presented some data about the nature of student transformation related to study abroad. The most interesting piece of data she presented is something I’ve had a hunch about after doing so much travel abroad. The percentage of campuses in the CCCU who are doing debriefing and significant work to help students integrate their experiences in real life is very low. Smedley used the word “sad” to talk about this. I agree! It sounds like a handful of people have figured it out. Notre Dame has a stellar program of preparation, summer service/mission, and then a course upon return to school to help integrate. Students can earn up to 8 credits for the yearlong experience. This is serious commitment to spiritual formation and missional education!

John Skillen shared Gordon-in-Orvieto(Italy) program. Students live in a monastery for a semester. They worship with the community, eat together, attend classes, and have leisure time. They are encouraged to get involved in the town of Orvieto. If there was ever a time today that I found myself drooling with envy it was now. Yet I wonder what could be dreamed up at NNU one day. You don’t have to go to Italy to find a monastic setting where intentional spiritual formation and academia meet, right? We have two settings in our state!

At the end of the session a man from University in Uganda asked a difficult question. He said something like: The students are learning but what about the people on the ground? Is study abroad just about what the students and their institutions are getting out of the program? Ouch....

Someone mentioned, “Communities are tired of being projects.” Isn’t this true…. And how easy it is to treat people this way.... There is a tension here…we want to empower the places we go to learn and serve. Listening and learning is a great place to begin our relationships of mission. But if all we do is listen and learn, don't we take too much? I’m curious what mutually benefiting missional relationships look like within the University world.

I’m interested in what it means to prepare and debrief our students for mission. Yet the mans questions from Uganda makes me wonder how those who host the mission/study abroad are prepared and debriefed too.

The man I sat next to at this session works at Spring Arbor University and is taking a group of students to Korea in May. (Small world....) It is a class where they will be learning about the culture and religions in Korea. I told him about the Benedictine Sisters in Busan (of course...can't hardly talk about Korea without a mention) and his face lit up. He’d love to get connected with the sisters because the trip is missing a catholic component. I’m going to try and connect him with some of my favorite people in the world. I’d be so happy if that could work out for both sides!!

Spiritual Formation Across the Campus--Break Out Session 2:

We heard from several people at John Brown University speak about how Spiritual Formation is addressed on campus through chapels, the hiring process, the training of faculty, athletics, and campus staff. I was most impressed with their initiatives which help foster spiritual formation among the staff. They have what is called 4by4—4 staff/faculty meet for 4 weeks at lunch to share their stories with each other. They offer group spiritual direction (interesting...we are hoping and on our way to doing this). Brown has a pretty extensive program related to training faculty in how to integrate faith and teaching.

IBOE Dinner:

It was just great to be with many of our Nazarene leaders from across the country and Canada! I sat with the folks from Olivet(Illinois) and Ambrose(Calgary, Canada). Thanks Dr. Fairbanks for hosting us!

CCCU International Forum Day 1

2010-02-24T21:10:00.006-07:00

I enjoy the moments when different life chapters collide. Today has been one of those days. I'm in Atlanta, Georgia at the CCCU International Forum. I had to remind myself what CCCU stands for. Oh yeah...."Council For Christian Colleges and Universities". I've run into folks from my college days and seminary days. This morning I ran into a gentleman from my home church in Redding who works at Simpson.

Before things got started I ventured out to the Martin Luther King Center with a woman who teaches at Oxford and oversees the study abroad program there. It was a treat to share the MLK Center experience with a non-North American. As we walked the grounds together I realized how little I know about the civil rights movement. Having not grown up in the south I really have no idea what our country overcame (or continues to overcome) with regards to racial and economic discrimination.

I was surprised most by the presentation of state laws in place only 60 years ago. They were absurd and sent chills down my spine. My how close the language was to things I read in Kigali, Auschwitz and Phnom Pehn. I'd like to think we Americans are different. We aren't and we have the history to prove it. Again I find myself asking how is it that humanity acts as if we are better than another? How is it that we rally our own kind together to diminish a different kind(as if they really are a different kind)?

My British counterpart shared that as she read the story and heard the videos in the museum that she was feeling a bit boastful knowing that her country didn't share this specific history. Yet then she came upon the story of MKL going to India to learn from Gandhi's non-violent resistance against the British. She was reminded of her own country's oppressive history. My how connected our stories are--the American and British story of civil rights.

At the opening ceremony this evening I must admit I was a bit bummed. My great hope of hearing from Desmond Tutu was dashed. Oh, we did hear from him. He was "here" but he was "here" in the form of a pre-recorded message. (Someone is laughing in Idaho!)

After the message from Desmond Tutu we heard from Richard Stearns, the president of World Vision. Stearns had some great questions and insights to share with us. And what I share below is some of what he spoke about and mostly my response to what I heard.

Stearns spoke as a man who knows the struggle and suffering around the world. He's wrestled with his own Christian vocation in light of his engagement with the "real world", a real hurting world. I especially noted his concern that Christian Universities are creating a comfortable climate for our students.

"Hey, we've talked about this at NNU."

He challenged us to craft a different kind of worldview on our campuses; a worldview that calls us to be aware and active with the needs of the poor.

I wonder with him, "What if students engaged in the real, real-world?"

He mentioned how unfortunate it is that Christian Colleges are so predominately Caucasian. This seems to cry in the face of our collective mission, doesn't it?

I ask, "How can a bunch of Caucasian folks really speak well about changing the world?" He pointed out that "changing the world" (or some form like it) is in most Christian college mission statements. We so desperately need other voices at the table!! If we don't, and we really do want to change the world, then aren't we just perpetuating past failures of imposing on others what is not ours to impose upon them?

Stearns challenged the group to think about ourselves and our institutions as agents of reconciliation and peacemaking. This challenge came out several times during the evening.

My questions are: What might it look like for a University to be an ambassador in our communities and world of reconciliation? And, how does an institution even enter into this kind of work and continue to be a sustainable institution?

More tomorrow.

Balloon Fun At NNU

2010-02-23T12:29:00.005-07:00

Dr. Dan Lawrence gave his students an assignment. He is the Physics professor at NNU. "How many balloons does it take to fill up Chaplain Gene Schandorff's office? The answer: 2979

This made for an incredibly fun morning. A student commented that you can not come into a room full of balloons with out smiling. I felt like we were in the play area at McDonalds. Talk about play therapy.......what a blast.

Happy New Year!

2009-11-29T20:26:00.015-07:00

Yes, I mean...today, November 29th, 2009. Today marks the first day of a new year. I didn't hear of any New Year's Eve parties. But maybe there needs to be a New Year's Eve party! For most this day passes in silence with hardly a notice. I didn't hear anyone talking about their New Year's resolution either. And likewise there were far fewer adds on television about losing all those "holiday" pounds. Yet, maybe this is why we need to have a New Year's Eve party. No, not to help us lose the pounds, but to help us think about how we will live out the first season of this new year. Most people are still recovering from calorie comatose and shopping mania so there is little energy to even think about another party. Yet today is a special day. Today is the first Sunday of Advent. For churches across the world who join in rhythm with the Christian calendar today was in fact New Year's Day. Maybe next year there can be a party. I'm not sure there is a need for fanfare or fireworks. There is just a need for awareness and intention.

Happy New Years!

It is time to begin again. It is time to reflect on what has been, be present to what is, and look forward to what we hope will be. And we have a season--called Advent--to help us do this. The culture around us (even the Christian culture) wants to skip right over the season of preparation and head right into the second season of the year--Christmas. How different the season of Christmas would be if we prepared, listened and waited well during Advent. Mothers who give birth have themselves a season of preparation, listening and waiting. Imagine if a child was conceived and birthed all in a day. I imagine most of those births would come with more shock than joy. And isn't that what often happens with Christmas? We are shocked that it is here already and stressed by the obligations and expectations that come with its arrival. We are totally unprepared and unable to be present with what awaits us. There is so much more for us than shock.

As this new year begins with the season of Advent we are invited into a life of preparation, listening and waiting. There isn't a more difficult time of the calander year to prepare for God. Life is so full of other preparations. The fullness of time gives us all the more reason to prepare for Him. How will we prepare? We are invited to carve out space to listen to what God has done, is doing and will do. In the hustle and bustle of December so many of us could use moments of silence and stillness to help us focus ourselves back on the one who holds our time. As we listen during Advent we prepare ourselves to experience those grace filled moments when God reveals His incarnated presense; the presence that comes through His Spirit at work in us for others and in others for us. Our listening is a posture of waiting. We wait to see with more clarity what God is doing in our lives and in this world. We wait with hope. For one day we will see His work come to perfection--in us and in the world. Yet without preparation, listening and waiting we'd never even notice that there is a living God who is preparing for, listening to and waiting for us.

Happy New Year everyone! May we all prepare, listen and wait this Advent Season for the living God among us.

Thanks

2009-11-26T17:53:00.006-07:00

Happy Thanksgiving! Today I ate turkey. I know this fact is not very surprising since most American families celebrate this holiday with turkey. But for me it was (maybe) the beginning of a new trend--celebrating the holiday on its actual day. I haven't had an "American" Thanksgiving meal on Thanksgiving day since 2003.

We have chapel at Northwest Nazarene University 3 times a week--Monday, Wednesday and Friday. We had chapel yesterday for the few students that acually stayed around to attend class. Gene Schandorff, our Chaplain, set up a treat for the students and staff who showed up. We sang a few songs just like normal. But then he asked everyone to take out their cell phone. He invited us to call (or text) people we wanted to say "thank you" to. Students loved it. They loved even more that chapel was let out after 20 minutes in order that students could enjoy hot cocoa and muffins.

I met one of our students brother after chapel. The students brother is a person with down syndrome. He made eye contact with me and said hello. We chatted a little and then he put his hand up to give me a high five. Then he opened his arms wide open and invited me into a huge hug. We talked some more and he gave me another hug. Later I watched as he gave others hugs. I'm not sure what others were thinking but I felt gifted by this kid's joy and unbarring love. It made my day! And I was thankful.

There is a whole lot to be thankful for this year--a new place to live, a new way of being in ministry, and a new community. A year ago I never could have guessed that I'd be here. Thanks be to God for how He has been guiding.

Destruction of neighbor, destruction of self

2009-11-23T20:56:00.007-07:00

Returning to the blog world...one post at a time. Here is "one".

I watched a documentary this weekend about the Dalai Lama titled, "10 questions for the Dalai Lama". Yes, I know, he isn't Christian. Yet he has some things to say that we Christians need to hear. In the documentary a journalist journeys to have an audience with the Dalai Lama. He was instructed to prepare 10 and only 10 questions. It was the 10th question and answer that promoted me to write this post. It is a questions I've been wrestling with for some time and I appreciated the Dalai Lama's answer. It wasn't a simple answer but a compelling one. It wasn't a Buddhist answer but a human one.

The journalist asks, “If you are really a non violent person you never make a stand against something evil evil, violent or vicious…. for instance the Khmer Rouge or Hitler or the events in Bosnia and Croatia……at what point do you give up non-violence and at what point do you confront something that is truly evil in the name of doing what is right?"

The Dalai Lama responds,

"Basically, the non-violent method is the best one—or the real method to solve the problem....."

"So I think as a measure for protecting oneself then…maybe...as you mentioned when someone is going to kill, going to abuse, then if the circumstances suggest there is no other way then, maybe I think…just try to hit back. But this is just protection."

"So therefore, if you look at today’s reality, everything is interdependent. Everything is interconnected. So my interest is very much linked with their interest. Their interest is actually in the long run involved with my own interest. Therefore, destruction of your neighbor, destruction of so called your enemy, is actually destruction of yourself. Our survival…our future…is very much linked with one another. So therefore, the concept of war… destroy your enemy… is old-fashioned….out of date."

I found the Dalia Lama's answer interesting in that he was both a realist and an idealist at the same time. He spoke to the human need to defend but also to the consequences entailed even when we defend ourselves against our enemy. There are times when protection of self, family and even nation are the natural and even right response. Send the troops in to stop Genocide, please! But even when we do defend--especially when our defence results in the destruction of another, their are consequences.

I'm not sure we yet understand in "the west" what it means to be so interdependent with the world. We are getting there. Surely the latest economic down turn has perked our attention to the global interconnectedness of our economy. But do we see our actions (or lack of action) towards a neighbor, towards a family member, towards a stranger as interconnected to the development (or lack there of) of the community? Do we see our actions towards others related to our own development(or lack there of) as human beings? What I do or do not do matters for me but it matters for everyone else too.

The Dalai Lama spoke of war as old-fashioned. A curious term to be used with war....old fashioned. It would be a different world if more people thought that destroying others or consuming beyond our needs (or means) was out of style.

Lead Retreat 09: Fun

2009-08-30T00:07:00.002-06:00

Build A Boat: Lead 2009

2009-08-29T23:56:00.002-06:00

Students had to build a boat using "noodles" and duck tape. Then they had to race in the river. We didn't get first or last place. ; )

365

2009-08-28T22:44:00.000-06:00

It has been 365 days, an entire year, since I returned to the U.S.A. from Korea. Some days I feel like when I walk outside of my door, yes even my new office or new home door, I feel like I can walk to get Korean fast food at Kimbap Nara or go to the bathhouse. Moving into Nampa has created once again the feeling of "just returning from Korea". I've been in the USA for an entire year but somedays I'm reminded that I was gone for 4 years!

Just today as I roamed the isles of Winco looking for a nylon mesh laundry bag I was reminded of how formative Korea was. I've looked at three stores this week with no luck. I can't find what I'm looking for. I thought to myself, "I wish this was Lottemart, at least there I knew where to find things!" I forget how long it took me to find things there! Today I laughed at myself when I realized that I was operating on the assumption that I had to look, look, and look without asking for help. I sometimes still forget that I can use my verbal skills to ask for what I need in a grocery store!! We speak ENGLISH here in Nampa! It amazes me that 365 days later I'm still running into experiences that reveal how I've been formed by living abroad. There is a need for re-forming in the grocery store!

This past week was NNU's LEAD Retreat with all the incoming student leaders. We went up to Trinity Pines in Cascade, ID. It was a meaningful week for me in so many ways. I met some really great students and staff. We played some great games, had significant teaching and worship times, ate great food, and greatest of all we laughed a ton. This was my first LEAD retreat ever. I always wanted to be a part of PLNU's LEAD but never did because Basketball consumed my "extra time".

This whole last week I found myself reflecting on my final week in Korea. This time last year I was saying goodbye to the Benedictine Sisters, the ladies in my Bible Study and my "Korean family". I couldn't have guessed then that I'd be saying hello to another Nazarene campus 365 days later. God has had so many surprises this year. It has been 365 days of participating in how God is unfolding His story of my life. It will be fun to see what the next 365 bring..... More surprises I'm sure....

Do Because Of What We Think

2009-08-15T07:20:00.001-06:00

"...the spiritual life is not simply what we think about; it is what we do because of what we think."

Joan Chittister (The Rule of Benedict)

I've just begun a new journey in Idaho. It still feels surreal that I'm living in Idaho. I'm adjusting well. I must admit I miss Kansas City. I miss Jacob's Well and my friends there. I miss the diversity of KC. Yet it is so clear to me that I'm in the right country, state, and city. I'm making new friends and enjoying learning from the people I work with. I've found a church. It is an international congregation and the pastor is Korean. I graduated Seminary with the pastor! The congregation reminds me so much of the church at Korea Nazarene University. I'm enjoying the fellowship of the international community. The part of me that misses Korea is finding great joy in this new community. I'm getting to know a new roommate. We spent last Friday evening making apricot freezer jam. This was a first for me.

In the last 2 weeks I've made some visits in the community. It is so cool that a part of my job has me out in the community. I've been talking to people who are engaged in transformative work in Nampa. It is a great thing to move to a new city and hit the ground running with visits to people in the community who really care about serving people and who care about participating or "doing" in the Kingdom of God. I've met community members who are giving their lives to "do because of what (they) think." There are some great things happening in my new city. God is certainly at work here. I'm enjoying the process of listening to where God is working already.

This week it has occurred to me that the challenge of acting out my beliefs seems a lighter burden when I am remember that God was the first to act out of His beliefs. The one who "does because of what He thinks" has a life in me and in my new community! God was the one who set the example of tirelessly, continuously, and faithfully acting on his convictions. Where would we be if God didn't "do because of what he thought"? What if He had just believed in His mind that He wanted a relationship with human beings, but never created us? What if He only thought in his "head", "I will restore my people" but never actually put a plan in place to bring redemption to the world? What if He only had the cognitive insight to send His Holy Spirit to partner with humanity, but not filled His people with His life? For God it seems belief and action are intimately related--two sides of the same coin. I'm so glad they are! Hopefully this year I will be able to join God in his own "doing because of what He thinks".

Buy A Book and Give Hope

2009-08-02T00:25:00.003-06:00

In recent days and weeks I've been reunited with all of my stuff. Stuff, stuff and more stuff. Too much stuff. I don't need so much stuff. My how I've changed in 5 years. A couple weeks ago I was in Redding visiting my family and I got to go through boxes of stuff I hadn't seen in 5 years. I had forgotten about so much of it. In August 2004 when I left for Korea I left all of my stuff in boxes with some friends in KC. That stuff was moved across country a couple of years ago by a couple from the Redding Nazarene Church. The stuff continued to sit, sit and sit in a storage unit. So much of it I don't want anymore. I don't need it! Why did I keep so much of it?

Ever since I returned from Rwanda in 2007 Steven, a pastor I met there, has been on my heard. A group of friends have been trying to partner with Steven and his ministry in Kigali. He is a father to orphans, a servant of the poor, a helper of widows and a pastor. Steven's tireless work and commitment to following Jesus radically impacted me. So this week as I've unpacked my boxes in a new city in preparation for a new job I knew it was time to do something meaningful with all this stuff!

I have acquired so many books! They are books I don't even use, don't need and could borrow from a library if I really wanted to read them again. My year sabbatical has taught me that I don't need to own as many books as I once thought I needed to. We have a great lending system in the U.S.--the public library. In the U.S. we have access to so many books! There are cheap books and used books like the ones I'm putting on amazon.com. Why would I want to keep all these books shelved in my rooms collecting dust while Steven struggles to give his children an education? What if I could sell them and give the profits away? Where have I heard that idea before?It might not be a ton of money, but it is something.

So here is my plan: If you buy my books, I'll give all the proceeds to Steven and his work with orphans and widows. You can learn more about this at: www.friendsofsteven.org.

Buy a book and give hope! To browse the books for sale click HERE

In the next few weeks I'll be adding more books.

TED Sophal Ear: Escaping the Khmer Rouge

2009-07-11T00:10:00.000-06:00

Nampa/Boise to Redding

2009-07-11T00:00:00.004-06:00

After 5 years of driving very little I've about reached my quota. In seven days I've been in a car over 30 hours. 8 western states in 7 days. Enough! Tonight I'll sleep in yet another bed. However this one is familiar. I'm home with my family in California. This morning I started out from Boise. I set off wondering if I'd opt for a hotel half way through. But 9 hours later I arrived in Redding. 9 hours alone in a car. I enjoyed it way more than I thought. I listened to NT Wright's "Evil and Justice" book on my ipod. Good thought provoking stuff! It is good to be home and good to be in a familiar place.

Driving cross country sure has reminded me of how vast our country is. There is so much land that seems empty. Wide open space.... So diverse... Mountains have their own character in each region. What beauty and barrenness. Interesting that the two can comingle. I don't care to drive cross country again for a while but I'm grateful to have seen new places in the USA. We have so much to be grateful for.

Serendipity: Shopping, Fireworks, and Zip-line

2009-07-05T19:21:00.007-06:00

I love serendipity and the trip to Nampa is proving to be full of serendipity. Yesterday MaryAnn and I drove from KC to Cheyenne. 4 states in one day--Missouri, Iowa, Nebraska and Wyoming. We stopped at the Sierra Trading Post Outlet Store just as we got into Cheyenne. Serendipity. For two non-shoppers this was a special treat. MaryAnn was so excited. Only we thought we had 10 minutes to browse the store before it closed at 5pm for the July 4th holiday. When I was asking the clerk some questions about the store in Boise (hoping to tell MaryAnn she could do her shopping there) I learned we had crossed over a time zone and gained an hour. We had an extra hour of shopping on an already extra long day!

At our hotel in Cheyenne we just so happened to have a view of the Cheyenne city fireworks. I had hoped to get a glimpse of something "4th of July-ish". After all this July 4th is the last major holiday rounding off my first year of living Stateside since returning from Korea. It was so cool to see the fireworks after a long day of driving from our hotel room and then head right to bed.

We had a slow start this morning but eventually got on the road towards Salt Lake City. Today would be a shorter day of driving. As we got closer to Utah MaryAnn asked me to find something we could stop and "see" or stop and "do". Eversince Friday she has been talking about "ziplines". July 3rd was her Birthday and on that evening MaryAnn's friend recounted a story about riding down a series of zip lines in South Africa. The idea "stuck". So when I was searching for things around Salt Lake City on MaryAnn's Blackberry I searched for a "zip line". Surely it was a long shot but why not try and see if we could find one?

It wasn't so long of a shot after all. In fact I found that Utah Olympic Park had one! The Olympic park just so happened to be on our way into Salt Lake City. We wouldn't even have to change course or drive more! I called the place to be sure they were open. They were! Our GPS told us we'd get there just in time to make it before closing time. (this time we had the right time zone) What serendipity! On Friday MaryAnn had said of zip-lining, "I want to do that someday". On Sunday she and I did it together.

Olympic Park was great. We watched a team from Australia practicing ski jumps. They were jumping with water gear and ski's into a swimming pool. We rode the a lift up the mountain and did the X-treme Zip Line. What a thrill! We then rode the Alpine Slide. We were like two kids at a theme park. When we were done we drove 20-30 minutes into Salt Lake to find our hotel. A fun day!

Tomorrow we are going to check out the Mormon Temple in the morning. How can we not, I guess... On our way into Nampa we are going to stop on Jerome, ID to visit a Benedictine Monastery. I'm really looking forward to our second stop tomorrow!

Ordinary Miracle in the Holy Mundane

2009-07-03T07:14:00.003-06:00

Tomorrow is July 4th and I'm leaving Kansas City to head west. Holy Moly! Tomorrow night I hope to be in Cheyenne, Wyoming. I'll be on the road with my good friend MaryAnn for the next 3 days. I've said so many goodbyes but saying goodbye to MaryAnn next week will be the hardest one of all. Two summers in a row of goodbyes is enough!

I told a friend this week, "If I didn't make so many great friends this goodbye stuff wouldn't be so hard." She said, "If you wouldn't have made so many friends, this year would have been miserable!" She is right! Real LIFE is made up of friendship. Friendships don't happen overnight. In American culture we are so quick to "make friends". Yet true friendship doesn't just happen it is worked out though ordinary and even mundane encounters on a regular basis. As I prepare to sleep my last sleep in KC (for a while) I can't help but be amazed and hugely humbled again by God's incarnate presence in the people I've lived with this year. We've experienced an ordinary miracle in human connectedness. There have been Holy spaces in the most mundane events.

Almost every night MaryAnn, Malcolm and I would convene in the living room with popcorn or ice-cream. We'd talk about our days, share what we were reading or what we'd heard on NPR. We'd share about our encounters with people. It wasn't anything to write about. Yet God has been in the small things with regularity. Popcorn and ice-cream led to connection and the building of family. We shared our hearts. Sometimes it was for 5 minutes and sometimes it was for hours.

Today as I spoke with MaryAnn and Malcolm, my KC family, I felt overwhelmed by their gratitude towards me. I'm thinking, "I should be the doing the thanking!" I have. Malcolm began the morning by sharing how sad he feels to see me go. For a moment it reminded me of a conversation I had with my father shortly before my parents drove me off to college. MaryAnn and Malcolm don't have any kids of their own. Yet I glimpsed a father in Malcolm today. Fatherhood comes with great sadness. It must be hard to let a daughter go even if it is an "adopted daughter". Later MaryAnn shared, "God must be letting you go because he knows I've learned what I've needed to learn from you." I felt stunned. This from a woman who has mentored me in so many areas of life. This from a woman who has walked with me as I have grown into listening to LIFE. This from a woman who helped me find the courage to take a year long sabbath! It is amazing to realize how mutually blessed this trio--MaryAnn, Malcolm and I--have been through a year of living together. We've laughed, cried, worked, played and ate together. We've learned something about God and his compassionate love from one another. As sad as it is to leave yet another home I'm so full of gratitude. God has been at work in us. God has been real to us through us.

So often as a Christian I've hoped for God to show up in the special signs and wonders. "God show up in a special way at church today!" "Give us some writing on a wall that you are here." How often have I thought that the real God-work was in that spectacular moment of "the spirit"? In that "moment" everything changes! But that isn't the story of this particular year. In fact this isn't the story of my life in God at all. So often we highlight the climactic God events of life. I wonder, what little, ordinary, mundane, human events and relationships are taking place before those "moments"? And isn't God just as miraculous in the ordinary moments as he is in the "extraordinary" ones? Isn't God holy in the mundane of life? If I didn't think these things to be so before, I know they are true now!

God has been in the un-noted noticeable human exchanges. I'm reminded that God is in the humanness of us all! This is the ordinary miracle we all experience everyday. The "signs and wonders" taken one at a time could be passed off as nothing more than just a mundane and ordinary life. Yet taken all together there is a spectacular witness of God at work in people sharing life together. This year I've witnessed an ordinary miracle through daily connection with people I love more now that I did a year ago. I'm already missing the Holy mundane! I imagine I will have ample opportunity to notice ordinary miracles in the Holy mundane in the next adventure.

T.Y.S.Y.L. Party

2009-06-20T21:36:00.008-06:00

Friday night was special for me here in Kansas City. It was the evening of my going away party. Judi and Keith Schwanz hosted the event at their home. What a gift! So many people came over. My Kansas City "worlds" collided on one night in one place. It was so great to see friends from different places interacting. I'm so glad I could talk (even if brief) to so many people before I left.

I didn't want to call Friday night's gathering a "going away" party. It was a T.Y.S.Y.L. Party or a "Thank You and See You Later" party. Yes, I'm going away. I'm moving to Idaho. But I'm a Nazarene. Kansas City is "Mecca". Besides I have family here! I'll be back to KC eventually for something--a meeting or a visit. Yeah, maybe this gathering was a going away party but it was more. Last night was for me a thanksgiving for what God has been up to in this year.

God has been so particularily involved in this past year as I've leaned into life with a posture of rest, waiting, listening and connecting. I'm so thankful for an entire year off! Waiting has not always been easy especially when I had no clue what I was waiting for. Knowing what we wait for is a luxury! But not knowing has been an adventure with surprises. As I've waited listening has been my life theme. It is a life theme to hold on to! This season has been marked specifically by listening to myself, my environment, my relationships, and my experiences. I've had a keen sense of God incarnating himself in all these areas this year. This year has also been one of deep connection with people. MaryAnn and Malcolm, the people I live with, became family. People from Jacob's Well, NTS and others gifted me with their time, their stories and their hearts. Friday was so great because I got to be with so many of them one last time before I move on to a new season. There is sadness in leaving such great people. Yet there is thanksgiving for the gift of being here in KC for a year with them. The people of this year have inpacted me more than they'll ever know. Thanks to all my friends in Kansas City. You have been Christ to me this year as you've rested, waited, listened and connected with me. Thank you and see you later!

At the end of the gathering my friends prayed for me. It was a humbling experience and a defining moment for me. Was I being ordained? What a gift it was to feel like I was being sent by people who love me. Gracias! Kamsahamnida! Thank You!

Thomas Merton

2009-06-17T10:35:00.003-06:00

Mike King shared a bit on Sunday as a part of the call to worship/announcements. He quoted Thomas Merton. I was going to ask him for the reference but he posted it on his blog.

Merton Quote

'What do I fear most? To forget who I am, to be lost in what I am not.'

Thomas Merton, Journal 1966

Amahoro-Africa: South Africa

2009-06-13T16:13:00.003-06:00

This past week was the 3rd Amahoro Africa gathering. I would have loved to have been there in person but found a way to participate from a distance. This year's gathering was held in South Africa on the topic of the African Reformation. Parts of the conversation were recorded and posted by Roger Saner on the website Future Church. You can hear from Claude and Kelley Nikondeha, Brian McLaren, Moss Nthla, and others. There are some tremendous talks and evidence that reconciliation is still happening and pain continues to be transformed. Thanks to all of those who recorded and uploaded these sessions!

Idaho Bound

2009-06-08T22:59:00.006-06:00

Idaho bound.... I'm moving. And it is incredibly exciting. I'm moving to Nampa, Idaho to work at Northwest Nazarene University as their Student Ministries Director. Last week I visited NNU and a whole host of people for a marathon interview. Who would have thought 3 days of interviews could be so much fun? I had such meaningful conversations with students, faculty, staff and administration. There are some stellar folks at NNU that I'm going to work with and for. I'll head out of Kansas City on July 4th with a friend, my car and my stuff. It will be a long drive but an easy move. I don't even own a piece of furniture! I'll start work August 1. I'm looking forward to connecting with NNU students, staff and faculty as well as the communities surrounding NNU. I'm looking forward to journeying with students as we learn about how our passions might involve us in local, domestic and international mission. It will be fun to find where God is already at work so we can join what He's already in the process of doing in our community and world.

Traveling in One Place: Saudi Arabia

2009-05-24T12:58:00.015-06:00

Saturday night I felt like I traveled to a different country. I hosted 3 educators from Saudi Arabia and their translator for dinner along with 6 other guests. Of course I didn't go anywhere really. I was in Kansas City but I stepped into a whole different cultural paradigm. My fellow "travelers" gathered at the home of Judi and Keith Schwanz. (They are out of town and I'm the lucky house sitter.)

This opportunity came through KC's International Visitor Council(IVC). Anthony, who also participates in IVC and the one who helped me host, told his friends, “Hey, you want to come to this dinner with people from Saudi Arabia hosted by a girl I've just met at a house that isn’t hers?” 2 of his friends, B.J. and Brian, joined us along with Young, a student from NTS and Akmed, an Arabic speaker and IVC board member.

The evening started out with conversation around the topic of "women". When this conversation started all eyes were on me. I was the only female in the house. One of the Saudi men asked me, "Would you be open to marrying a Saudi man if you lived in Saudi Arabia?" This question wasn't that different from what I'd get asked in Korea. I responded, "No, I don't think I would." I explained that I thought the cultural differences were just too big. They asked me through their translator, "Can you tell us what you believe about women in Saudi Arabia?" This conversation caught me by surprise. I wasn't sure what was coming from our Saudi visitors and what was coming from the desire of the translator. I thought, "How do I say what I think without offending." But the three Saudi men seemed interested in knowing what I really thought. Once I got all my stereotypes out in the open the Saudi visitors tried to deconstruct them. They did it with great compassion.

The topic gave them the opportunity to share with the group the fundamentals of Islam. They explained that family is central to their lives. "Women are jewels", they said. "We won't shake your hand because we are protecting you for your future husband." I was warned before the dinner not to extend my hand because I am a female. I must confess this felt aukward when we first greeted. I learned why what seems like such a "safe" greeting in western culture doesn't feel safe at all to them.

They told us that a couple has a marriage contract. If a woman wants to work or go to school this is often a part of that contract. Also, money is set aside for the woman should there be a divorce. They conveyed to us that often men "pay" their wives for working in the home. If a woman works outside of the home she is entitled to do what she wants with this pay. "The woman is the queen," they said.

I asked if a woman could be single in their culture. I learned that "singleness" is different. No, a woman couldn't be single like I am single. They may not be married however they are always under the responsibility of a man. It might be her father, uncle, brother or son who oversees her needs. I smiled when they put it that way. Maybe on this point their communal way of thinking has something to teach this "individualist". While some of my stereotypes about women not being educated or women not having a right to an opinion were deconstructed I'm certain that I'm not a good match for a man from the Saudi/Islam culture. I'd have to say to any prospects, "Let's just be friends."

During the rest of the evening I enjoyed friendly conversation. Our Saudi guests shared poetry and sang memorized portions of the Koran. We learned things like what they do for fun and how one becomes an Imam. Just as our chili dinner was ending we were asked if they could do their sundown prayers.

There they were in the formal living room facing the east (or what we hoped was the east), reciting prayers in Arabic, and bowing with heads touching the floor. The rest of us just sat in silence watching. I think all of us realized we had stepped into a piece of Saudi Arabia at that moment.

Once they finished they sat on the floor and asked that the rest of us join them there. We circled up on the floor and shared an intimate moment of thanksgiving for each other. One of the Saudi guests thanked us for showing such kind hospitality. "We have seen the educational system but tonight we have experienced how Americans socialize." Akmed, the IVC Board member, kindly whispered that I needed to say something to the visiting guests. In that moment it struck me how profound this evening had been. We had 3 people from Saudi Arabia, 2 people who were originally from Egypt, 1 South Korean and 4 people from the U.S. It is pretty incredible when people from such different backgrounds and different belief systems come together and enjoy each others company. I was grateful.

At the end of the evening--even after all that talk about women--all of the guys helped me clear the table and load the dishwasher. Even the men from Saudi Arabia were helping out. I told them, "Make sure you take a picture to show your wives." They laughed...and took pictures.

On the way out of the door the Saudi visitors shook everyone's hands--except for mine of course. (protecting me for marriage!) One of the Saudi men said to me in English, "You are a jewel". It was a dear expression of his appreciation. I'll take that over a handshake any day.

Missional Living In The Work Place

2009-05-22T13:04:00.005-06:00

Last week I joined Dr. Fletcher Tink in a class entitled, "Theology of Work". On Monday I encountered him at the seminary's Commons. Once he saw what I was reading he began recruiting. The books happened to be tied to the class he was teaching beginning that very evening. "Julene you should join us. It starts tonight. We are meeting all day tomorrow and in the evenings the rest of the week." "We are visiting business people and talking to them about what it means to be Christian in the work place." "You'd love it." Dr. Tink is known for his recruiting. I wasn't the only one who got his offer. But how could I say no to this? I was available and interested. One of the things I know about Dr. Tink is that he is a master connector. He has a vision for integrating all of life with the mission of God in the world. On top of the information I'd gather in the class I'd learn from watching him interact with the community.

Our class of 8 met some very talented and mission minded people in the community. We talked to a prominent banker, a chiropractor, the owner of the Filling Station (a coffee shop/cafe in KC), a computer tech guy at the IRS, the head of Nazarene Publishing House and then a panel of business men associated with Significant Matters in KC. Later on in the week we heard from a pastor/artist, a woman who feels called to downward mobility and the person in charge of Hallmark's Hall of Fame (their movie's). I asked myself, "what if we did this kind of field trip more often in a local community?" There are people who are living out their Christian vocation connected to the community and the church has so much to learn from them. And it seemed to be greatly encouraging to the people we met with. They got to share how God was moving in their lives and their working world. All of us were encouraged.

I was encouraged by Christians in the workplace who don't just "do a job" but instead live out a Christian vocation. They gave testimony to how the laity serve as ministers in their contexts. They have taken a missional posture. They don't force their faith on people. Instead they are living a life "in the open" after God's heart. Most of them don't have to say anything because people around them are beginning the conversations.

Sikh Learning and Interfatih Youth Alliance

2009-05-08T14:39:00.008-06:00

Dining with Muslim Algerians weeks ago jump started the beginning of a new kind of journey for me. Just a few days after my encounter with the group from Algeria I was asked to join a small group of people for lunch to talk about interfaith work. At that lunch I learned about a group in Kansas City calling themselves the "interfaith youth alliance." On Sunday (now two weeks ago) I joined the youth alliance for a meeting at a local Sikh place of worship.

I felt nervous as I walked into this huge complex on the north end of Westport. The woman who greeted me at the door wore a white turban. "Would I have to wear one too?" Thank God I didn't. I was only asked to remove my shoes. Taking of my shoes was easy enough. This gesture has become one of "coming home". A group of us sat in their dining room to eat Indian cuisine. There was no table but a white table cloth on the floor with dinner wear. As we ate together, both Sikh and guest, I learned about aspects of Sikh faith, worship, and life.

A surprise for me was their belief in one God. I identified with their desire to keep God in one's awareness at all times and of helping one's neighbor. I wrestled with the way they talked about life after death and reincarnation. Even while we shared great differences in faith I must say I connected to their contemplative hearts and their desire to live in community. I'm so glad they opened up their home and worship space to a group representing other faith traditions.

After the meal the group representing the youth alliance talked together about forthcoming plans. This youth alliance has hopes of getting young adults of different faiths serving together in the community. Awesome! In fact a group of young people from Iraq are going to be in KC this summer and they will be partnering with students in KC on service projects.

I'm still trying to figure out what it means for me, a Christian, to be involved in interfaith work. I've been influenced by such global issues as poverty, conflict, colonialism and genocide. Religion and the cultural differences associated sure have been the vehicle for misunderstandings leading to hatred and then violence. As I host these influences within me, and the stories of humanity I've learned from, I'm convinced that engagement with my neighbors of different faiths in some kind of shared life together is vital to my Christian development.

Benedictine Weekend

2009-04-06T13:16:00.009-06:00

Holy Week again is accented in Benedictine friendship. Friday and Saturday I went on retreat with a small group of Benedictine Oblates. Since December I've been attending an Oblate group in Kansas City and asking myself the question, "Where have you been all my life?" I would love to find a way of making this kind of group a constant in my life. Oblates are lay members associated with a particular Benedictine community and can be comprised of people from various Christian traditions--protestant, Catholic, Episcopal, Orthodox, etc. I love the ecumenical nature of the group. We have so much to learn from each other as we host each other's experience. While we come from different experience and tradition we share important convictions--firstly we want to follow Christ better and better and secondly we hope to shape this following through the Benedictine rule of life. It occurs to me that all people have "rules of life" which shape the lives we choose --written and unwritten. For me it is good to try on this Benedictine way of following Jesus. The retreat made me feel a bit homesick for my Benedictine friends in Busan. I spent a very special Holy Week with them last year. The friendships in Korea and my KC Benedictine friends are invaluable to my own Christian formation.

I continue to be interested in all things talking about "what it means to be human" and at Benedictine community in Atchison, KS, I found the following quote in our worship together.

Oscar Armulfo Romero:

"For the church, the many abuses of human life, liberty and dignity are a heartfelt suffering. The church, entrusted with the earth's glory, believes that in each person is the Creator's image and that everyone who tramples it offends God. As the holy defender of God's rights and of God's images, the church must cry out. It takes as spittle in its face, as lashes on its back, as the cross in its passion, all that human beings suffer, even though they be unbelievers. They suffer as God's images. There is no dichotomy between humans and God's image. Whoever tortures a human being, whoever abuses a human being, whoever outrages a human being abuses God's image, and the church takes as its own that cross, that martyrdom."

Benedictines speak of "welcoming the stranger as if you are welcoming Christ." This is a commitment I've seen practiced so well and while I associate it with Benedictines I know it is really just Biblical. Interesting to me Romero is calling the church to something similar and he is exposing how we fail to "welcome Christ" in the suffering stranger. The church is invited to host God. What an amazing calling we have!! Humanity is to be welcomed as hosts to the "Creator's Image." What if we really believed that? When we welcome the stranger, the one who lives by a different creed and culture, the one who suffers from poverty and/or abuse, the one who comes from a different Christian paradigm, we do welcome God, don't we? The mystery of our host-work is that somehow God hosts us in our hosting. This Holy Week, might we be called remember and repent of the ways we've abused God by not hosting His own humanity well?

Being Converted To A New Kind of Faith

2009-04-02T22:24:00.010-06:00

The best kept secret in Kansas City is not a secret any more. A few months ago some friends at church told me about an organization in town that exists to host international visitors. The organization is connected to the State Department. Their mission is to "to create peace through diplomacy". The "secrect" is the International Visitors Council of Kansas City.

Tonight I participated in hosting a dinner for Algerian visitors with a group of friends. For each of the visitors it was their first visit to the United States. They didn't speak much English so we were so thankful for the willing translator who came along to help us communicate with each other. Some of my best living abroad memories are those spent in another's home. So it was a treat to be on the receiving end of welcoming foreign guests. Our Algerian guests work as librarians for their National Library and have been visiting USA libraries for a couple of weeks.

I learned so much from listening tonight. Our 3 guests are Muslim. When their faith tradition first came up (it came up through almost everything they talked about!) I asked, "How could I tell if someone practiced Islam?" They answered by talking about the importance of prayer, the doing of good works and of giving to the poor. They spoke of Muhammed very much like I'd speak about Jesus--with such conviction and admiration. I was fascinated by the urgency with which they spoke about their faith practice and commitment. I sensed that they had a message for us as Americans.

They wanted us to know that Islam is about loving people and not about terror. Those who do acts of terror are not practicing "true" Islam. I could say something similar about the "true" practice of Christianity. Both in what our Algerian guests said and how they said it I felt from them a deep sorrow for the people who share "their faith" with terror. I wondered if I would be so explicitely compassionate about my faith if I were sitting in their home in Algeria.

My picture of what it looks like to practice Islam has been reframed tonight by three gentle, gracious and loving Algerians. Their kindness and their recieving of our space made me want to learn more about what it means to practice Islam. Will I be converted? I think I could be. No, not to Islam. But this is my hunch: in learning more about Islam I could become more authentic in the way I practice Christianity and following Christ. I'm convinced that by learning something more about those who seem so different I can learn to love God and love the other better than I've done before. Isn't this what we are called to as Christians? Through hospitality--making room for our international guests--I entered into a space where reconciliation was possible--room was made for me to see myself and the other in a way that brought us together.

As I sat there listening intently and sharing laughter I realized that hospitality and reconciliation are twins. They are two sides to the same coin. Both are about making room and both offer the invitation of conversion. When possibilities for hospitality and reconciliation enter into our lives we are invited to change, we are encouraged to grow, we are enabled to love. There are all kinds of "others" in our lives. It is a risky business to invite others into our space--our home space, our life space and especially our heart space. If we do invite others in we may be converted to a new kind of faith; one that takes us closer to the very God who transforms us by his hospitable and reconciling presence.

The Alchemist

2009-03-28T14:16:00.008-06:00

I finished a little book called, "The Alchemist". It is a fable about a boy in search of a treasure. Along the way, though the twists and turns, the ups and downs of his journey, he learns to pay attention to the life around him and the heart inside of him. The boy learns to follow the "omens" and listen to "the soul of the world".

In one scene the boy meets The Alchemist in the desert as he is on his way to find his "treasure".

The boy says, "My heart is a traitor." "It doesn't want me to go on."

"That makes sense", the Alchemist answered. "Naturally it's afraid that, in pursing your dream, you might lose everything you own."

"Well, then, why should I listen to my heart?"

"Because you will never again be able to keep it quiet. Even if you pretend not to have heard what it tells you, it will always be there inside you repeating to you what your thinking about life and about the world." (130)

This conversation captivates me as I think about how in my own life the Holy Spirit speaks through the language of my heart. I am learning how to listen to my heart, just like the the boy in the story, and find that it often takes great focus and discipline. What has the possibility of coming so naturally often doesn't. I have to uncover this heart of mine from beneath the layers "shoulds" "have-to's" and "oughts" created by other parts of me.

The Holy Spirit's gentle long-suffering commitment stays with us in our listening and non-listening days. This is GRACE. Imagine how gleeful God gets when we recognize the language of our hearts again. Imagine who our very heart enlarges and grows as we pay attention to it's LIFE within us. When we make room for it's LIFE I wonder what kind of LIFE might become the overflow? I'm aware of my own fear of walking into my "listening" because it might ask me (gently) to lose the things I "love" the most. This growing into grace isn't always the most fun thing in the world but it is the kind of adventure well worth embarking on regardless of the risks of "losing".

Later on the Alchemist says to the boy, "Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dream because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity." (132)

The boy responds to The Alchemist, "When I had been truly searching for my treasure, I've discovered things along the way that I never would have seen had I not had the courage to try things that seemed impossible for a shepherd to achieve." (132)

I just wonder what kinds of communities could be created if more of us learned to listen the LIFE around us and in us. What if a group of people decided to listen to the life around them?I think our hearts would be widened in compassion for the people and places we already interact with. What if we decided to listen to the hearts inside of us? I imagine many of us would find that some of the things we are pressing on towards are not really the desires of our heart. If we learned to listen to the life around us and the hearts inside of us, I think we'd create a culture that our western world would look to in both disgust and wonder. I'm still very much an apprentice to this listening life. What I've begun to experience convinces me the listening life is the only way to LIFE. My hunch is that if a people learned to listen together, we might become a more authentic kind of people together in and for our world.

Adapting

2009-03-28T13:11:00.007-06:00

I've made it through the winter without a car in the "good ol' USA". I never could have imagined riding my bike in January and February! But I have--not a whole lot but a few days! Most days I've taken the bus and walked. Thank goodness for warm clothes and yaktrak's(wire contraptions worn on your feet for walking on ice and snow). It hasn't only been walking, biking and busing because many times I've received rides from gracious friends. Other times I've borrowed a car for those longer distanced appointments. It is amazing how adaptable I've become in my own country for this season of life. I never could have imagined myself doing this years ago.

We were hearing news reports all week about a snow storm preparing to slam KC. So while I've enjoyed connecting to environment all winter long I had great plans of staying home today. I didn't want the hassle of all the snow, missed buses, and cold feet. I expected to wake up to snow on the ground. I didn't. I didn't expect to wake up to cold house. I did. Our heater is broken. I feel so bad for "my family". We've been dealing with heater problems on and off all winter. My dreams of staying in my pajama's all day with a cup of coffee and my computer in my lap were given a different dose of reality. My adaptability is once again called into action. What can I do? I know exactly what to do. Adapt.

So on this 28th day of March when most people are choosing to stay home I've headed out in the weather. I bundled up in layers and layers of clothing. No I didn't ride my bike. I'm not that crazy(I don't have studded tires). I dawned my fancy yaktrack foot devices so I'd have firm footing on the ice covered ground and headed out on the day's adventure. I've not known where it would take me. So the day of laziness at home turned into a visit to the library, and a favorite coffee shop. The library was packed with people from the neighborhood. The coffee shop was empty!! I hung out with the owner most of the afternoon. Maybe I'll go to The Plaza next. Tonight I'll walk home in the snow to sleep in my down sleeping bag. It will be like camping. I love camping! I'll be connecting to the environment in a new way--and hope the heater can be rectified soon or that the weather will soon return to spring.

Mission Training International

2009-03-07T14:57:00.006-07:00

I spent the last week at a retreat for missionaries in transition. When I returned from Korea there were a handful of missionaries who told me, "you really should get some debriefing". I knew they were right but didn't know where I could get that. Since I was in Korea as an independent there was no training pre-departure nor has there been any de-briefing on return. Then in early December a friend of a friend told me about Missions Training International. They do a "Debriefing and Renewal" program for missionaries in transition. I had to wait until March to get in. Their training and debriefing weeks fill up fast. Now I know why. I'm impressed by the special care taken in the details of our time together. I was impressed by the realness and vulnerability of the leadership. There was no Christian-ese spoken into our lives. I found the leaders to be full of grace and compassion. They created a safe place for me to be real. They recognized that sometimes there are no answers to our questions and that God is often more mysterious than we like to admit. I came away encouraged to live both within my passions but also within my limitations. I feel more affirmed and confident in the way God has been changing me and leading me.

I met missionaries who served in Asia, Africa, S. America and Russia. I loved that we shared so much in common. The joys and struggles I experienced in Korea were very much similar to others joys and struggles. I found great pleasure in hearing others stories and getting to share my own. Finally I feel normal! I found others who spoke "my language" and I found a language to explain my experience both overseas and in transition. There is something freeing and healing to naming an experience. Our leaders shared that it took them 4 years to feel like they were finally home and settled. That is a long time! It was suggested that if you double the amount of time you were gone, that this number is how many years you've moved away from your home context. So my 4 years abroad amounts to an 8 year gap of change in me and in my home context. I get that! No wonder the transition brings it's own stress and difficulty.

One of the key moments for me at the retreat was during the session on "stress". I was able to name stressors that I had not identified before. I never realized that my daily hassles in Korea were more like traumatic events to someone in my home culture. I survived so long with a linguistic handicap. I just got used to this hassle and lived well within it's limitations.

I had no idea how much I needed this past week. It was so clear on so many levels that God's hand was in my going and our learning together. The best part is that the roommate I had at the retreat lives in KC too. I came home from my debriefing with a new friend who is also in transition. What a HUGE gift from God.

Anyone who has lived overseas for more than a year really needs this kind of a program. If you are one of my friends in Korea who will eventually transition back to North America, I encourage you to put some money away now and plan on going when you come home. You won't be disappointed and I bet it will be just what you'll need. There is a terrific program for the kids and their transition too! It wasn't cheap but for me it was worth every penny.

Advice on being "more real"

2009-02-27T16:02:00.002-07:00

So many people around me, including me, are in a time of change and transition. I came across some wise advice today from Thomas Merton.

"Advice? I would say that there is one basic idea that should be kept in mind in all the changes we make in life, whether of career or anything else. We should decide not in view of better pay, higher rank, "getting ahead," but in view of becoming more real, entering more authentically into direct contact with life, living more as a free and mature human person, able to give myself more to others, able to understand myself and the world better. I hope these few notes may be of some use."

Thomas Merton

(From Echoing Silence pg 29-30)

TED Talk: Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor

2009-02-24T20:41:00.000-07:00

My Stroke of Insight

2009-02-24T14:32:00.008-07:00

I've just finished reading, "My Stroke of Insight". It is written by a neuroscientist who at 37 had a stroke. Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor had and continues to have a unique insight into the brain as both a scientist and now as a stroke survivor. She lost much of her left-hemisphere's capacity. This is the language center of our brain. It is the part that analyzes and categorizes. It is the story-teller and the self-talk center. It is the part of our brain that recognizes where we as individuals start and stop and where other beings--living and non-living--begin and end.

Jill writes:

“I experienced enormous grief for the death of my left hemisphere consciousness – and the woman I had been, I concurrently felt tremendous relief. That Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor had grown up with lots of anger and a lifetime of emotional baggage that must have required a lot of energy to sustain. She was passionate about her work and her advocacy. But despite her likable and perhaps even admirable characteristics, in my present form I had not inherited her fundamental hostility. …..I had spent a lifetime of 37 years being enthusiastically committed to “do-do-doing” lots of stuff at a very fast pace. On this special day, I learned the meaning of simply “being”. (68)

The culture I know so well is the "do-do-doing" one. Yet the longing of my person is to "be-be-being". (probably because like Jill I'm more used to doing than I am to being) It is a wonder to me. How do we cultivate a way of being and a way of being present to now and here without losing the value that our "doing" selves offer ourselves and our world? How are we to be a people of both mystery and science? How are we to enjoy the benefits of our modern world without allowing our modernization to de-humanize and de-compassion us?

As I read Jill's account I couldn't help but find myself in her experience. The metaphor of stroke speaks to me as one who lived within a language I had no fluency in. I don't know what it is like to have a stroke. However, I do know what it feels like and how a human being (me) accommodates itself when the capacity to use verbal language changes or becomes incapacitated. Other capacities to communicate became more acute as I managed my way through life without the Korean language in Korea.

“With this shift into my right hemisphere, I became empathic to what others felt. Although I could not understand the words they spoke, I could read volumes from their facial expression and body language. I paid very close to how energy dynamics affected me. I realized that some people brought me energy while others took it away.” 74-5

In Korea since I could not connect to people through verbal language (left brain) I became so much more aware of the feel of my surroundings. I noticed things like the energy of a train full of people, the emotional condition of my classroom, the anxiety of people on the fast paced streets of Seoul, the elderly man staring down our loud group of foreigners on the bus. In fact the first time I became conscious of what Jill might call a "right brain" function was when I returned to the USA after living in Korea for 2 years. I had become so connected to people’s body language and emotional language that when I returned to the USA and found myself at checkout counters I was disengaged (in part) from this left-brained language center. The cashiers would talk to me, ask a clarifying question, or tell me how to use the ATM machine and I would not even hear their words. I wasn't used to people in public spaces speaking to me (besides the polite "HI"). Now that I was in my own language context I continued looking at people's facial expressions, their shoulders tensing up and leaning in towards me, and their hands motioning that there was something to pay attention to. Something in me was confused in the USA and I found public communication difficult. The cashiers emotional energy and their body language wasn't even in the same "language" as I had learned in Korea. That is when I realized I needed to listen to their English! I had to intentionally "flip a switch" in me. It is interesting to realize that living outside of one's language has the potential to make us more in tune with our right brain capacities.

Jill's uncovering of the right brain's function resonates with much of what contemplative authors or psychologists refer to as the "true self". It is fascinating that there is evidence in neurology to "prove" something that has been a mystery for many years. It is the right hemisphere that we speak of when we talk about our "heart". It is the place in us that is prepared to "have faith", to love, and to know peace and joy. Jill suggests that all of these characteristics are choices that we condition within our brain. The right hemisphere also has within it our capacity to be compassionate to ourselves and others.

“Sadly, the expression of compassion is often a rarity in our society. Many of us spend an inordinate amount of time and energy degrading, insulting and criticizing ourselves (and others) for having made a “wrong” or “bad decision. When you berate yourself, have you ever questioned; who inside of you is doing the yelling, and at whom are you yelling? Have you ever noticed how these negative internal thought patterns have the tendency to generate increased levels of inner hostility and/or raised levels of anxiety? And to complicate matters even more, have you noticed how negative internal dialogue can negatively influence how you treat others and, thus what you attract?”( 138)

“My stroke of insight is that at the core of my right hemisphere consciousness is a character that is directly connected to my feeling of deep inner peace. It is completely committed to the expression of peace, love, joy and compassion in the world. “ (133)

“I believe the more time we spend running our inner peace, compassion circuitry, the more peace/compassion we will project into the world, and ultimately the more peace/compassion we will have on the planet. “ (135)

I loved this book. Yet I did wonder what Jill would say about God and the role of God's spirit working on our brain to transform our practice of compassion, love, joy and peace. What would she say about our brain's capacity to engage with a mysterious Other--the God we find in Jesus Christ who unites himself to us-- who changes us so that we can be more whole in the way we live out of both our right and left brain hemispheres? If some of the classical Christian authors--including the Psalmist's-- knew what we know today I imagine they would say that Christ transforms our brain instead of our "soul" or "heart". The Shema (Deut 6:5) would sound so different-- "Love the Lord your God with all your brain". The Magnificat would be, "My brain magnifies the Lord." Psalm 139 would be, "Search me, Oh God and know my brain, test me and know my anxious thoughts." The beauty of what Jill reveals to us is that God works with humanity in the transformative process. She accentuates the capacity within us to change ourselves. And this is something we all need to hear. We are not victims to our circumstances and our emotions.

Slumdog Memories of Survival

2009-02-07T10:06:00.005-07:00

"It is the best movie of the year." I kept on hearing this from friends about the movie Slumdog Millionaire. Now that I've finally seen it I understand all the hype. It is the best movie I've seen in a LONG time.

Yesterday I took the bus to the AMC Theater for a matinee showing. With 7 other people I watched. In the opening scene I was brought to tears. Tears that come from a deep place. You might think this is odd. I did until I realized what was happening. I had this feeling like I had been there. Yet this was India. I've never been to India. I was playing with my friends in the slums, running through the streets, playing in the water, watching the murder of the one I love, and figuring out how I would survive. I've not been there but I've "been there". Slumdog is a story of survival and so much of my last 4 years has taken me into the stories of survival. Those unexpected tears revealed that my travels to places of suffering and survival continue to work in me.

I was brought right back to little boys playing in the water in the oil contaminated moor of Tonle Sap Lake(Cambodia). A part of you wants to share the joy of a child's laughter at play while another part cries tears of sorrow for the poverty.

I was reminded of the Manilan slums and the day when my eyes met children peeking out from behind the corrugated metal. How is life possible here? The dirt, grime and rust juxtaposed by the green potted plants and hanging flowers. Life was going on there.

I was at the Blind Massage Center in Vietnam lying face down on the table receiving a horrible massage This was a factory of blind masseurs. I was glad the young lady working on me had a job but I felt conflicted about what I was supporting.

I was at the orphanage in Rwanda staring suffering in the face--an infant boy. He seemed too traumatized to connect with another human being. Yet in nothing more than an instant I saw that life was still in him. There was still hope that he could let the love in. An infant....

I was at the Atomic Bomb Museum in Hiroshima reading the story of a child who was forced to labor even on the day she was ill. Her mother regretfully made the child go to perform her citizen duty. The child never came home but vanished. Only some belongings survived to prove she once existed.

I think I was watching my own movie yesterday. I am reminded that the life I choose to live must take these stories, these people, this poverty, this suffering and this survival with me. Actually they are already with me. It is a matter of my making room for them in my life. I no longer have the luxury of ignorance. The people, their stories, their struggle, their hope an their joy go with me. They ask, "Will you be hospitable to us in you so that we can be hospitable to others with you?"

I'm not sure you'd have the same experience watching Slumdog Millionaire but I highly recommend seeing it on the big screen! It will be like taking a trip to India!

Found By Merton

2009-01-31T18:47:00.004-07:00

Have you ever picked up a book, started reading and known that this book was for THIS time? That is how I feel about Thomas Merton's, "New Seeds of Contemplation". I had given up on Merton after attempting his autobiography twice in Korea and never really getting past half way. I never ventured onto his other stuff. This book "New Seeds" crossed and re-crossed the Pacific ocean waiting to be read for such a time as this. It is almost like Merton found me. ; )

I'm so intrigued by how relevant Merton is for our time because in his own way he deals with issues of faith, being human, humility, community and his own changing culture. When I picked up the book to read I thought he'd be talking about the contemplative life in the sense of "prayer" and "separation from the world". Instead I've found that he is speaking about LIFE in all its wrestling, struggling and living.

I wrestle with what it means to faithful to both Christ and his calling on my life in this post-modern, post-Christian, post-whatever context. I struggle with the developed world's demands to be busy and productive as if we have to prove we are "some-bodies". We are really becoming "some-things". I don't always know what choices to make in the world of technology. I just know that "being connected" isn't making me connected in the way my humanity longs for. Yet in Merton's book he describes LIFE within all the dissonance. Even in the wrestling, struggling and choice making the One we call God breathes life into each one of us, giving us new life and making us more truly human than we were before.

Line after line I underline. Here are just a few "seeds" to ponder.

Merton on Solitude

"the truest solitude is not something outside you, not an absence of men or of sound around you; it is an abyss opening up in the center of your own soul. And this abyss of interior solitude is a hunger that will never be satisfied with any created thing." (80)

Merton on Tradition/Revolution (and for me the description of a "post-modern" people)

"For the revolutions of men change nothing. The only influence that can really upset the injustice and iniquity of men is the power that breathes in Christian tradition, renewing our participation in the Life that is the Light of men.

To those who have no personal experience of this revolutionary aspect of Christian truth, but who see only the outer crust of dead, human conservatism that tends to form around the Church the way barnacles gather on the hull of a ship, all this talk of dynamism sounds foolish.

Each individual Christian and each new age of the Church has to make this rediscovery, this return to the source of Christian life.

It demands a fundamental act of renunciation that accepts the necessity of starting out on the way to God under the guidance of other men. This acceptance can be paid for only by sacrifice, and ultimately only a gift of God can teach us the difference between the dry outer crust of formality which the Church sometimes acquires from the human natures that compose it, and the living inner current of Divine Life which is the only real Catholic tradition." (144-145)

Merton on Faith

"True faith is never merely a source of spiritual comfort. It may indeed bring peace, but before it does so it must involve us in struggle. A "faith" that avoids this struggle is really a temptation against true faith." (106)

Merton on Integrity

" In great saints you find that perfect humility and perfect integrity coincide. The two turn out to be practically the same thing. .... "humility consists in being precisely the person you actually are before God, and since no two people are alike, if you have the humility to be yourself you will not be like anyone else in the whole universe. But this individuality will not necessarily assert itself on the surface of everyday life. It will not be a mater of mere appearances, or opinions, or tastes, or ways of doing things. It is something deep in the soul." (99)

Prayer: Listening and Silence

2009-01-27T12:31:00.007-07:00

Prayer and especially listening prayer has been on my mind a lot these days. It is a way of being with God that my heart longs for. Listening prayer or centering prayer is really a way of sitting (I suppose one could stand, walk or run) with God. This was first introduced to me in Seminary through Thomas Keating. When I left for Korea I took with me a few books written by a American Jesuit whose lived his adult life in the Philippines, Thomas Green. In 2006 I spent a week at his seminary on retreat. He is one of those unknown saints that has a host of gems to teach us through his life and writings. I highly recommend anything he's written and especially, "When The Well Runs Dry".

Thomas Green really helped me begin to think about prayer as a way of listening and being. I had always thought that if in my prayers or reading of scripture I felt nothing, that I was doing something wrong. I failed to realize everyone has these seasons! Thomas Green's book, "When the Well Runs Dry" changed my paradigm of what "dry" spells in the Lord can be. Instead of judging myself to be inept at prayer or even disobedient I came to realize that like life's seasonal rhythms prayer also has seasons. These seasons don't always repeat themselves and they are not in regular intervals but they note a changing and even a deepening in my relationship with Him. It isn't about finding what "works" in prayer and it isn't about consuming God in my sporadic mountain highs. Instead it is about learning to be, regardless of what is felt or not felt, learning to return regularly in faith and also learning to be lead into different places that feel uncomfortable.

Despite dryness Green would talk about the commitment to listen and be with God. I picture Thomas Green lying on the chairs in the Atenao Seminary in Manila early every morning he was physically able. He talked about not "feeling" anything for years but none the less he came to be with the God he trusted there--listening and in silence. He choose to be in the open, where the men training to be priests could see him. He did this not to boast of his regular time with God but to model his commitment to listening in all seasons with the Lord (and especially the long dry one).

I don't know this LONG dry time but I do know something of the power of silence and stillness with the Lord. The sweetest times with the Olivetian Benedictine Sisters in Korea were the extended periods of silence where in community we stood still with the opportunity before us of being fully present with God. It was a regular practice for them and I'm sure there were days when God's nearness was missed by most entirely. Call it dryness, call it hurriedness, call it acedia or something. Yet for me since I never understood the language of the mass nor the language of the prayers--they were all in Korean--the moments of silence where the time where this blonde haired outsider was in with everyone. I spoke the same God language as everyone else--presence and stillness.

As I'm reading the Psalms these days I am captivated by how often the words waiting and stillness come up. How often in my life have I been taught a language of prayer that excludes any sense of presence, stillness, or waiting? They are uncomfortable! They are especially uncomfortable when we live perpetually engaged with technology and the people behind the technology. Even our weekly worship can encourage us not to listen as every moment is scripted and filled with images and noise. I believe there is a hunger or a longing within our generation going unnoticed by many; it is a longing for listening to God in silence, stillness and waiting. (even in the midst of the noise and especially in the periods of dryness)

Prayer: In response to reading

2009-01-27T11:34:00.004-07:00

Tim Keel of Jacobs Well is hosting a book reading "club" on his website. He's posting each week on the book, "The Good Life", by Rob Benson. It is an introduction to the Benedictine rule of life. One of the hopes I had in returning to the USA was joining an oblate group and/or learning formally about the Benedictine rule. I've found that oblate group or it found me... And was pleasantly surprised when a friend linked me to Tim's blog regarding his book reading "club". This week I commented on Tim's entry "BBC 2: Prayer - Introduction which I've posted below.

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It is a peculiar thing this prayer. Even more peculiar is the way in which I was taught to pray and the way in which the young spirit in me was drawn to pray as a child/adolescent. They couldn’t have been more different.

I remember great Sunday school teachers and summer camp speakers giving me the sure fire formula for prayer. Was it fashioned after the Lord’s Prayer? A.C.T.S. Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving and Supplication (su-pli what?) It was so scientific this way of breaking up the kinds of things we say in prayer yet without mention of the kind of listening that prayer calls us to. I can’t even count the number of “prayer journals” I tried to start over the years. Some people fair well by keeping track of all the prayer requests and how God answers but that has lasted at most only a couple of weeks for me. There were times when I just thought I wasn’t cut out for this prayer stuff. And you know, I’ve come to realize, I’m not. I’m not cut out for the “stuff “ that goes with prayer.

I was a praying child and my sense is that many kids regardless of their faith traditions at home were praying children. As a kid prayer was a conversation with this “Other” I knew but was only beginning to name GOD, Jesus and Holy Spirit. I knew Him, this One we talked to before bed, this One they sang to in “big” church, and this One we heard about in Sunday school. But I knew him even before that. This "One" or "Other" was so present and so near. I'd fall asleep at night knowing this One was right there with me. Some kids had the boogie man and I had the "Other" hiding out in my room.

As a pre-teen I had a paper route. It was and continues to be the greatest organic spiritual practice of my life. Each weekday and each weekend over a period of 3 years I rolled 60 plus newspapers bagged them and delivered them around the neighborhoods on my bicycle. From my current vantage point I know this life period fostered a way knowing God in a deeper way. I had no idea what I was doing at the time! From outward appearances I was a little girl preparing papers for delivery—how boring-- but on the inside I was a little girl playing with her Father, shooting the breeze, reviewing my day with Him, listening to His voice of correction or encouragement…mostly encouragement during those tumultuous days. I’d set off on my bike into the apartment complexes and sometimes got caught “talking to myself”. Embarrassing! Everyday for about 2 hours I’d hang out with this ONE. No one told me I’d meet Him there or that I should expect Him. He was just there and somehow I recognized God inviting me into a conversation. No one told me, “This would be a great devotional time”. If they had, I would have gotten out my notebook of prayers and made sure I was praying by the correct formula! Oh what a huge loss that could have been. The grace of not “knowing” I was praying was the grace of being able to pray fully, freely, and in a deeply filling way.

I experience the guilt of not “praying” in my adult life at times. I’ve not been very “good” at setting out specific times of “prayer”. As I get older I realize I do need this. I find that when I keep regular times of prayer that my whole being is more in tune with what is real. This said prayer has taken on a more holistic meaning. While regular times of sitting and speaking and listening with God are needed, I still mind myself recovering that childhood way--it is much harder as an adult. Sometimes I find that prayer happens when I’m running, walking, or biking. It happens when I with friends, on the bus and in the coffee shop. You know when I notice I don't pray much is when I'm on the internet or watching TV. Why is that? Often there is this running conversation going on in my head still even as an adult. I’m definitely not always aware of it! Many times I'm not. The challenge for me lately is to do less of the talking and more of the listening! I never thought of myself as the typical chatty girl but when it comes to my speaking with God that is exactly what I am. There is this deep drawing in me lately to let my words be few and let my presence be full. This is no A.C.T.S. kind of prayer! There is no formula or science. And I’ve turned to the monastics I'm finding the kind of mentoring my so as to learn my praying heart longs for.

Birthday Gifts

2009-01-10T11:38:00.003-07:00

The best gifts are people. I was given 9 great gifts for my birthday last night. I hosted a dinner for 10. I would have invited more but our table only fits 10. Too bad! Except for the couple I live with all the others are friends I've been getting know since September. What a great way to have a birthday. I've been blessed by each person this fall/winter as I've transitioned back to KC. I'm grateful. I cooked and prepared food for taco salad. We ate and talked...a lot. What a joy.

Yuling, who I had taught cake baking to before Christmas, surprised us with a delicious cake of her own. Everyone raved of her cake baking skills!

Sharing Snow Fun

2009-01-03T23:30:00.002-07:00

So the last weekend with my family has been full of fun. I must say I've laughed more in the last 2 weeks than I have in ages. Joy, my friend from Beijing, has been a gift to be around. We've slept in, watched movies, cooked American and Chinese food, shopped, got her ears pierced for the first time, worked out and talked and talked and talked. I feel like I have a Chinese sister.

I have LOVED seeing my whole family enjoy her presence. My brother never visited me in Korea but I got a sense of what that might have been like today as he taught Joy how to snowboard. He was so patient and kind. My brother suited Joy up with all the right gear and and spent a couple of hours teaching her. She improved a lot from start to finish but never got to try the "real" mountain. Even so she seemed to enjoy the "bunny slopes". She told us that my dad might have to make her an artificial butt. (my brother and father make artificial legs) She fell so much today that she had to check to see if she still had hers. Luckily it is still there. There will be no need for a prosthetic rear device. We laughed.

I will return to KC on Monday. I'm looking forward to being in one city for a while and catching up with growing friendships there. I figured out that while I've been in the USA for 4 months I've not been in one place more than 4 weeks. It is time to stay in one place for a while. Let's see if I can stay in one place for 2 months! 3? 4? 5? That might be pushing it.

Christmas

2008-12-27T17:02:00.004-07:00

This Christmas has been unique for my family and I. Joy, a friend from Beijing, has joined us for two weeks. She is currently a nanny in the USA but we get her for Christmas and New Years. Lucky us!

My parents met Joy last June when we traveled together to Beijing. I knew Joy from Korean Nazarene University. She was a visiting student in 2006. Joy and her parents were incredible friends to our family in Beijing. Her dad did more than put up with my dad's cultural discomfort; he single handedly put my father at ease with his kind care. They couldn't even speak to each other. So now that Joy is in the USA we've been together in 3 countries and we've seen each others homes. This is incredibly fun for me and again I am seeing that some of the best experiences of Korea continue on this side of the Pacific ocean.

We took Joy to the Christmas Eve service at church and out around town to see the houses decorated with Christmas lights. We did our traditional family breakfast and I made scones...my specialty. We opened presents and shared lots of great food. She met my brothers side of the family. She's gone running with me and she has gone out looking for "treasures" with my mom and her new metal detector. My dad took her on a tour of Whiskeytown Lake. It has been a fun time for us all.

Etty Hillesum on Love and War

2008-12-22T11:37:00.005-07:00

I'm reading "Etty Hillesum: An Interrupted Life and Letters from Westerbork". It is said that Etty was the adult contemporary to Anne Frank. Her diary left to us reveals a 27-29 year old woman who articulates her own inner life with mastery. She died in Auschwitz in 1943.

I'm struck by the room she has within her for others, her ability to put words to a deep inner-life, her compassionate hope and her insight into human responsibility. As her situation is worsening and the signs of eventual encampment are only a matter of time she writes this about the war she's experiencing:

"All disasters stem from us. Why is there a war? Perhaps because now and then I might be inclined to snap at my neighbor. Because I and my neighbor and everyone else do not have enough love. Yet we could fight war and all its excrescences by releasing, each day, the love that is shackled inside us, and giving it a chance to live. And I believe that I will never be able to hate any human being for his so-called wickedness, that I shall only hate the evil that is within me, though hate is perhaps putting it too strongly even then. In any case, we cannot be lax enough in what we demand of others and strict enough in what we demand of ourselves." (95)

Etty has an imagined word on the beauty of life in spite of sorrow for a mother who has lost her child:

"Yes, life is beautiful, and I value it anew at the end of every day, even though I know that the sons of mothers, and you are one such mother, are being murdered in concentration camps. And you must be able to bear your sorrow; even if it seems to crush you, you will be able to stand up again, for human beings are so strong, and your sorrow must become an integral part of yourself, part of your body and your soul, you mustn't run away from it, but bear it like an adult. Do not relieve your feelings through hatred, do not seek to be avenged on all German mothers, for they, too, sorrow at this very moment for their slain and murdered sons. Give your sorrow all the space and shelter in yourself that is its due, for if everyone bears his grief honestly and courageously, the sorrow that now fills the world will abate. But if you do not clear a decent shelter for your sorrow, and instead reserve most of the space inside you for hatred and thoughts of revenge--from which new sorrows will be born for others--then sorrow will never cease in this world and will multiply. And if you have given sorrow the space its gentle origins demand, then you may truly say: life is beautiful and so rich. So beautiful and so rich that it makes you want to believe in God." (97)

Holy Human Irony

2008-12-22T00:23:00.003-07:00

The challenge in being human is finding a communal posture of loving God, loving others and loving ourselves in spite of our experience of failure, loss of hope in ourselves and others, war with difference (political, religious, cultural) and ignorance to the cultural conditioning which encourages us to remain wholly other.

There is a Holy Irony; the deeper we walk into our own “in spite of’s” with eyes wide open, with expectation of learning something new, with a willingness to be changed, the more we know the way of Love. As we shake the hand of the human condition we make room for the embrace of true humanity. I’m convinced that this is the love that leads us to experience all that is real and true. It is the pathway to peace.

When we can finally look ourselves in the mirror and see our warts of hatred towards a sister, the age spots of indifference and the scars of pain, we have then started down a path which brings the humanity in us together with the humanity of Christ. A new capacity for relationship deepens in us. Through this mysterious Christ-human union the human in us makes room to see the human in others. What would happen if the human in us could see more of the human in others? What a simple yet radical prospect--to learn to love in this way.

God remains and waits patiently in the worst of our humanity. He doesn’t pull out when everything looks beyond hope. He doesn’t abandon us when we’ve chosen a different way. God doesn’t force us to fit into his “God-mold” but rather he frees us to follow his human pattern in order create our unique human display of Him.

If only we’d notice Him in our “in spite of’s”, He’d guide us gently into a different knowing. He’d show us that we have within us the capacity to forgive. He’d help us to remember all that we’d forgotten of Him so that we’d still have reason to hope. He’d wait with us so we could begin to see how our own human heart beats to the same human rhythm as all the other hearts. If we could sit still with him long enough we might see a new vision of otherness; what makes a human “other” is their own capacity to incarnate beauty. There is goodness underneath all the “in spite of’s”. It is our true humanity waiting to be known again.

These glimpses of our true humanity, the glimpses of a redeeming and reconciling Christ at work in us, come few and far between. The arrival of our seeing is nothing short of God’s mercy and grace. Such sightings have the power to transform every aspect of human life; they change how we make room for ourselves in ourselves, how we love and cherish our family, how we love even those who have caused us pain, how we risk extending ourselves even to those we’ve lost hope in. Imagine if a community had the courage to sit together with their “in spite of’s” in order to learn the way of love. Imagine the capacity they’d have to love the world, to make true humanity present again, and to create a way for the peace we all long for. Oh the Holy irony of allowing our humanity to lead us to our true humanity….

Story From Rwanda: Brooke Fraser's Albertine Song

2008-12-20T14:29:00.003-07:00

I love learning about new music. Brooke Fraser is an singer/song writer from New Zealand. This song was written after meeting Albertine in Rwanda. The words, "now that I have seen, I am responsible", have played over and over in my being during this season of sabbatical. What I've seen in places around the globe have placed a sense of responsibility on me. Not only that but the people I've met and the places I've visited are somehow "in me" and "calling me" towards a life I never had the imagination for. Enjoy Brooke's story and song.

Spending Time: SFO with Donabel

2008-12-20T13:13:00.004-07:00

(Breakfast at SFO Hilton)
"What are you doing?" It is the question of the hour. As I've traveled in the USA to visit friends, family and friends of family and friends I get the question over and over. It is a simple question. Yet my answering the question feels less than simple. I'm speechless often because I don't have the kind of answer I think people are looking for. Rather than explain sometimes it is just easier to say, "nothing". This time of sabbatical has been so pregnant with time. I've used the time for people, reading, traveling, watching, exploring and listening. I've never known this kind of life where I've reveled in the open possibilities in front of me, where I've welcomed the freedom to do "nothing" and "everything" all at the same time and where life's serendipity's come often because I'm paying attention. Yet my doings of nothing are really my "doing" of everything important in life--being, listening, waiting and seeking. For me Advent season began in August and my hunch is that it will continue far beyond December 25. The sense of waiting, hope, joy and love has had an especially long season to simmer. I'm grateful.

So this week I flew back to CA to be home for Christmas and New Years. My first stop was Vallejo and SFO before heading to Redding. I never had a sister growing up but in Uni and Seminary I gained a sister in Donabel Martin. We couldn't be more different yet on some levels we couldn't be more alike. She is serving a church in Vallejo. As soon as I arrived she put me to work in their food bank. Her church passed out huge boxes of holiday foods. I went to youth group in the evening and then we went into the city of SFO. We spent our time together in SFO with her friends and family. I love her family and feel like I'm a part of them! Donabel introduces me as her sister---heads cock to the side as they try to figure out how this white girl is related to this Filipino family! I love that.

We spent two nights at the Hilton! I never even dreamed of staying at a Hilton. What a treat and a huge gift from a friend of DB'S who works there. I ate Korean food, Thai food and Ghirideli's Ice Cream and admittedly too much junk food. I shared great conversations. I met co-workers of DB and close friends. Donabel's brother was in from Australia and he is always a treat to be around. Donabel's family is a family of pastors! Spending time with great people and laughing a lot.....life doesn't get much better.

1st Christmas Baking

2008-12-13T20:07:00.005-07:00

This week I was a house sitter. I had so much space!

A friend and I got together to bake a cake and make Christmas candy. Yuling is the girl I met on the plane as she was arriving to KC and the USA...from Shainghai and I was returning from CA. This is what Americans do during the holidays--we make sweet treats. Yuling baked, frosted and decorated her first cake ever. It has been years since I've had a holiday goody baking night. It felt great to share it with someone who is learning about American culture.

Saying "YES" in Community

2008-12-07T21:39:00.004-07:00

It was my last night with the MaryKnoll Sisters. I joined them in a prayer service. It was a prayer service for Rosemarie Milazzo. She was preparing to meet her Christian Peacemaker Team in Amsterdam and travel with them together to the Democratic Republic of the Congo. The team of 4 is going to be in the DCR for 3 months . They will be on the frontlines and in a country that is currently being ravaged by war. Their mission is a radical one and one in need of a community to pray, pray, pray. That is what the MaryKnoll Sisters did last week and will continue to do for Rosemarie, her team and the people of the DRC.

Rosemarie shared what she was preparing for. As she talked I felt from her a profound humility and a confidence in her own call to go and be a peaceful presence despite the conflict. There was an honesty about the unknown before her. I saw a human being before us not some untouchable "glorified" person. Her authentic voice helped me to connect to the Christ at work in her. There was great concern in her and maybe even fear. I don't know Rosemarie. I only met her. My observations may not be "on target". Yet from what I observed in that short evening was a woman who wasn't allowing her concerns and her fear to own her. The known before her was that one-- God was absolutely with her and two-- that she was taking her community of sisters with her.

I’ve never been so aware of the power of community as I was in those moments. As she was preparing to go to a place of conflict her religious family was comiting her to God, praying for her now and promising to pray for her everyday. It seemed like this community added to Rosemarie’s strength. I may not be a MaryKnoll Sister but my presence at that prayer service somehow has placed Rosemarie and her mission on my mind. I’ve become a part of her community even as an acquaintance.

The prayer service began and ended with a song titled, “The Summons”. The song asks some great questions.

Will you come and follow me if I but call your name?
Will you go where you don’t know and never be the same?
Will you care for cruel and kind and never be the same?
Will you love the ‘you’ you hide if I but call your name?
Will you quell the fear inside and never be the same?
Will you use the faith you’ve found to reshape the world around, though my sight and tough and sound in you and you in me?

Rosemarie is in the DCR today and in her own way she’s said, “YES”, to the Christian summons. Her “YES” has been an encouragement to me. It is a powerful thing to witness a life saying “YES” before you. The Sisters prayerful concern and support was a huge encouragement. I’m reminded how difficult it is to say “YES” to our Christian summons without the care of community. Can we radically follow Christ alone? Have courage to go to the unknown places alone? Care for our enemies alone? Love the parts of us we despise alone? Break from the fear that keeps us hidden alone? Live out the faith we’ve come to know alone? Maybe we do it for a while “alone” but it would this way isn’t sustainable. Community creates life in us. It nourishes our anemic faiths and empowers us to do more than we ever thought we could alone. The presence of Christ seems so much more alive in a people rather than in one solitary person. In community this summons comes to life.

I’m not sure what my future holds. Yet I know more today than I’ve ever known. I am saying “YES” to the summons of Christ on my life. And more than any other time in my life I know I can not sustain my “YES” without a community. We say YES together and we sustain YES together.

Friends from Korea

2008-12-04T21:05:00.003-07:00

First picture: Sister Norie, me and Sr. Dolores in the dining room at MaryKnoll. Both Sr. Norie and Sr. Dolores ministered in S. Korea. They were WONDERFUL to be with. We had great conversation, great Cheesecake and great laughs. I'm so grateful for all of the MaryKnoll sisters who shared a bit of life with me. Second Picture: This is Sr. Anna Marie and I at her church in Flushing. My time with Anna Marie was special. I felt like I was visiting my aunt. Thank the Lord for people who make us feel like family.

Reflection on Human Stories: Ellis Island and Ground Zero

2008-12-04T14:32:00.006-07:00

Monday I went to Ellis Island and Ground Zero. I took the train from a place near MaryKnoll to Grand Central Station. I found my way to Batery Park by subway. I can't even tell you how nice it felt to be in a place unfamiliar to me--foreign--but yet I was able to freely ask questions to manuever my way to my destination. The ability to communicate in my native

language is something I no longer take for granted.

At Ellis Island pride in my American citizenship. There are so many reasons to not be "proud". I'm reminded of the sacrifice, risk, and adventure that our great, great, greats experienced as they came to this "new world". We are a beautifully diverse people. This can lead to great problem but I think our diversity is one of the greatest gifts we as a nation have to experience with each other. As I learn about people who are so "other" than myself I'm only enriched. The USA is a people of diversity and we have the potential to be a people who recognize the dignity of every human being. We often get this so wrong. My thoughts turn to those immigrants and refugees who are doing the same today as many of our ancestors did. Their stories, their courage and strength is something I highly respect.

Later on I made my way to Ground Zero and St. Paul's Church. I walked up on it without knowing how close I had been. When it dawned on me that I was looking straight forward to the WTC site a wave of emotion came over me. So many lives were lost here, so much pain and terror emerged here. I went to the WTC Tribute Center. It is located to Fire Station 10. They have an audio guided walking tour. I set out to listen and walk the perimeter of Ground Zero. I listened to touching stories as I looked out into the "pit" from the new shopping center created around what will be the memorial site. One woman who lost her husband in one of the towers shared that the hardest day for her was not "9/11". On 9/11 she still had hope that her husband might be alive. 9/12, she said, was the hardest day of her life. On 9/12 she no longer had hope. Her husband had died. What struck me as I listened to the personal stories, much like what struck me in September of 2001, was the capacity for human beings to come together in times of great crisis. People reacted to this human tragedy with deep compassion for their neighbors. This is humanity at its best. Why is it that we see the "best" and the "worst" of humanity so often intertwined? The experience of being there at Ground Zero is one I'm grateful for and will never forget.

Macy's Day Parade

2008-11-27T13:57:00.006-07:00

Another day of spectacular Thanksgiving 2008. I had been hoping that I'd get to see the Macy's Day Parade while I was in NYC. I wasn't sure Sr. Anna Marie would be able to or even up for the adventure. Yet she was. This morning she had to help with mass and then we were off on an adventure neither of us know much about. As she worked this morning I cooked. I prepared a kimchi, rice and egg dish. Thanksgiving morning and I'm cooking with Kimchi. The irony...

We made our way to Times Square and were totally disoriented by the mass of people, road blockades and police. We couldn't figure out how to get to the parade route only 2 blocks away. There was a massive line of people being directed towards the route. We got in line and found ourselves inching but at least it was in the correct direction. Just as the parade was coming to Times Square we were in a perfect position. We were right up in front. I was so excited. I thought we had "struck gold" as far as "viewing points" went. The police got on the crowd--the moms and dad's with their small children--and told us we had to continue moving (away from the parade). They treated the crowd like we were doing something wrong. Yet none of us knew there were "rules". No one moved. Are you kidding, the parade is here! Again they said to keep moving. No one moved. They then flexed some vocal muscles with a threat. They seemed power hungry rather than concerned. They said they would start pushing us and all those with small children wouldn't be exempt. It was a pretty significant threat for a group of families who were totally non-threatening. I'm sure there were security issues at stake but the way they handled us was very poor. It was clear that there was division among to the officers. I didn't want to see anything get ugly--not on Thanksgiving and not with Sr. Anna Marie-- so we went on in search for a friendlier place.

Police directed us to 44th street where they had just opened up the street. We were hundreds of yards back from the parade route here. We could now see the balloons going by, we heard the bands but couldn't see the people in the parade. A few families brought ladders and propped their kids up on the ladders for a better view. A clever idea and a dangerous one with so many potential pedestrians watching the balloons and not where they were walking! We must have watched half the parade this way. I thought it was great. I was seeing the Macy's Day Parade live even if from a distance.

I could tell Sr. Anna Marie was getting cold. She turned around and said something like, "follow me". We set off into on of the biggest crowds I've ever been in. Not even in Seoul have I encountered this kind of crowd. What looked to me like a wall of people not to be penetrated turned into Anna Marie's pathway to the front of the parade. I couldn't believe her skill. She weaved us through the tiniest spaces and got us some 10 people back from the parade onto Broadway. She still couldn't see much. I on the other hand because of my height could see a lot. All of the sudden I was at a parade with marching bands, clowns and floats. It was so much better than viewing from a far. We were warmer too. We could see all of the balloons on their way. We had a great view of the score of people lining both sides of the streets underneath the Mega advertisements of Time Square. I grew up watching this parade on TV. I never dreamed I'd have a chance to see it in person. It was an electric morning. Santa Claus ended the parade and somehow the mass of people disbursed much more easily than it gathered.

A Spectacular Gift: Radio City Christmas

2008-11-26T17:07:00.006-07:00

Today was a day in Manhattan with Sr. Anna Marie. After a few years of being shown around parts of S. Korea by my dear friend Sr. Anna Marie I finally got to return the favor as a way of saying "Thanks". She lives in Korea Town which I'm beginning to realize is just like living in Korea. There is ShinHan and Woori Banks just down the street! The signs are in Korean. There are Korean markets and restaurants. Most surprising to me...there are special unmarked Korean speaking taxi drivers! You can live here and never really know it is the USA. However, once out of Flushing, I can see life is quite American. I helped us maneuver our way into Manhattan to the Museum of Natural History and Radio City. We had a spectacular day!

The best part of the day was Radio City. A friend of Sr. Anna Marie's wanted to treat her to something special. The gift was incredibly thoughtful. We were given two tickets to see the Radio City Christmas Spectacular with The Rockettes(the ladies who kick high and move in sync).

When I was making plans to come to NYC I looked into going to this show. It was just too expensive. So you can imagine how surprised I was when someone sent us on our way to Radio City with tickets in hand. There were a lot of little kids smiling from ear to ear there today. Sister Anna Marie and I were right there smiling with them. It was such an American thing to do and I enjoyed sharing it with someone who taught me so much about Korea. There we were sitting up close and center, listening to Santa Clause singing, watching the Rockets do their version of the Nutcracker and I couldn't help but be totally overjoyed.

I remember being so torn about visiting NY during the Thanksgiving holiday. I knew I'd be giving up a more traditional Thanksgiving and after 4 years away I was longing for one. I never could have imagined the gifts of visiting such good friends. I'm having a 2 week Thanksgiving Holiday! My first Thanksgiving holiday back in the United States is being spent with two of the people I'm most thankful for. Both are women whose hospitality and witness to to gospel transformed me deeply during my time away. So today with Sister Anna Marie I was most content. We are two women who met half way across the world and yet were together in America during one of the most important USA holidays. And we went to one of the best shows in town. It is the quintessential Thanksgiving.
If you are a friend of mine in Korea whose reading this...know that this (American) Thanksgiving especially I'm thinking of you. I'm grateful to all of you for your hospitality and kindness. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.

Surprise Early Reunion

2008-11-24T20:05:00.005-07:00

The plan for my week was to go into NYC on Wednesday to meet Sr. Anna Marie in Flushing. We are to spend Thanksgiving together and we're going to try and see the Macy's Day Parade. Plans quickly changed tonight when Sr. Anna Marie showed up at MaryKnoll in a van with 3 other Korean friends. They had taken a day of hiking up in the Catskills and decided that I was on their way home. I had spoken to Sr. Anna Marie yesterday and she mentioned she might visit me today. I had little expectation that she would come by because I thought she was traveling by train. I obviously made the wrong assumption! So at 5pm when she called to say she was coming and I should get my stuff ready I was stunned. I'm flexible! We loaded up the van, drove into the city and went to a really nice Korean restaurant together. I had a wonderful time. The food was just like in Korea too. I feel like I've entered into a little part of Korea for a visit. Indeed, I have. Flushing, NY is Korea town. We'll see what this week will bring...more unknowns I'm sure.

Volunteering To Watch a Compassionate Heart

2008-11-22T17:48:00.003-07:00

At Thursday's dinner Sr. Rosemary shared that she was going to work at a food pantry. She needed to take photo's with an digital camera for an urgent Thanksgiving kind of article. But she didn't feel confident she could operate one of these new digital cameras. They can be pretty complicated! What was I going to do that evening? Probably read a book or journal. I volunteered to go with them and help take some pictures. I figured I could operate a camera for them and in the meantime get to see a food pantry in action the week before Thanksgiving. You can find that article here .

Both of the woman involved, Sr. Roesmary and Sr. Catica, were missionaries in S. America and speak Spanish. Sr. Catica was especially fun to watch. She is a petite woman who is grey with age. Her rounded shoulders speak of a long history of work in the rural areas of Bolivia. She is a woman whose aging has left her looking frail. But don't let this fool you!

She and I were working together to hand out hot cocoa and coffee. I did more watching than helping. When I was helping and speaking too much Sr. Catica corrected me. It didn't take long to realize who was in control. She was. This was after all her place of service and I was a guest. I decided to stand back more and just watch her work. I'm glad I did.

One of the food pantry managers kept pressing her to hurry people through the line. The two of them had this sarcastic banter going back and forth. He was the sarcastic one and she just spoke her mind with her actions. Sister Catica wouldn't stand for rushing people through. She made sure to greet each person. She received smiles and hugs all night long. She had a presence there that was obviously appreciated by all of the clients. I saw a strength in her. She wasn't about to balk at the pressure of a manager. She wasn't even going to let a newcomer (me) get in the way of giving people what they needed. She created a space, even a small one, which communicated her awareness of each individual's humanity. She wasn't serving a number, she was serving people. She wasn't just handing out coffee, she was giving out love freely. She took her sweet, sweet, time. Sometimes she encountered a traffic jam of people. It didn't matter. The people didn't care. They seemed to revel in the few moments they had with her as she loved on them. It would be so easy to just hand out food and not make human connection. Sr. Catica was able to do both. I took a few pictures Thursday night...no problem. I'm glad a few worked out. Even better than that, however, is that I volunteered to watch a lover of people and a compassionate heart in action. I couldn't have asked for a better night!

Maryknoll, NY

2008-11-21T19:33:00.004-07:00

When I was invited to visit Sr. Norie at her "home" in NY I really had no idea what I was in for. She had described the place she worked and lived to be something of a "center" for the community. It IS a mammoth center and includes business offices, housing for working and retired sisters, chapel, cafeteria, library, and, and, and.. Across the road is the men's center and I believe it is their seminary. The MaryKnolls have their own city of "MaryKnoll", New York. I had no idea. I'm staying in a very quaint room with Asian decorations. It is wonderful. All over the halls of the massive 1930's buildings I've seen artwork from literally all over the world. Today they had a Bazaar with items for sale from many regions of the world. I feeling very much a sense of home here.

I knew that MaryKnoll was one of the first American Catholic community's to send missionaries. Afterall, Sr. Norie was a missionary in S.Korea. I just never realized that all of the sisters of Maryknoll are missionaries. Being here I'm getting the bigger picture of their global community. Everyone I've met has lived years in Asia, South America or Africa. I've met 5-6 women who served in Korea at different times. For me that is an extra special treat. They know the Korean context. They know the transition of returning home from Korea. I've heard in their stories of serving in Korea and transitioning back to the USA a voice of affirmation spoken into my own service and transition. I consider this time with these MaryKnoll sisters pure gift. This week is already a week I could never have planned. God is somehow at work beyond me. I came here to visit a friend but I'm sensing this trip will be so much more than that.

I sat in a large room tonight watching a large flat screen TV. Last Holiday was the Friday night movie. I couldn't help but think to myself, "How do I get myself into these scenarios?" "I'm in a room full of Sisters!"

New York Reunions

2008-11-18T22:28:00.004-07:00

I'm on my way to the "Big Apple" tomorrow. NYC here I come. I'm going to visit 2 special people there. Both are people I knew while I lived in Korea.

Sr. Norie is a MaryKnoll sister who was a missionary to Korea for many years. For the first 2 plus years of my Korean experience we met in Seoul about once a month to talk. She was a life line during those years and often created a space that allowed me to notice the grace of God at work in my life. I missed her when she moved to Ossining, NY in 2007. She's picking me up at the airport tomorrow. I'm so excited for this reunion!

The second friend I'm visiting has been in Flushing, NY for 2 months. We moved from Korea to the USA 4 days a part from each other. I was with her at her Busan home the week before we left Korea. She is a Benedictine Sister and like Sr. Norie created a special space of love and hospitality that gave me life in Korea. I'm spending American Thanksgiving with her. I'm trying to convince her to go with me to the Macy's Day parade...but only if it doesn't rain and only if she is truly up for it. We've changed positions, Sister Anna Marie and I, as she is now the foreigner and I'm "home". I'm so excited to see her in her new context and to share it with her. She lives in a Korean community so there is bound to be plenty of Korean food. I can't wait to share just a bit of life with her on this side of the world. What a treat!