Never Exchange the Vision

There is a heavenly place in Korea. It is only a 23 minute bullet train ride away—yet a space marked by serenity rather than hustle and intrusion. I don’t realize how “loud” my life is until I go to this retreat house.

This weekend I returned to the Benedictine retreat house for the first time in 4 months. Sadly, all but one of the Sisters I met before were transfered last month to other places in Korea. Yet, the new sisters welcomed me just as well. I know more Sisters in Korea than I did before!

There were several encounters with the Sisters that I’d consider “God moments”. Yet one today, in the final moments, spoke so strongly. Sister Sew-Wah Teresa (which means “little flower” Teresa) took me to the train station. She too was there to catch a train for a meeting. We chatted in English. WOW! All weekend I had not realized how well she could communicate in English!

Sister Little Flower Teresa's name name suits her. She is a young woman who has been a sister for 16 years. Her countenance is as a beautiful flower and she exudes a delicate humility. It is so clear that she has poured out her heart to Jesus and walked the way of the cross for years.

Little Flower Teresa explained that she was 5 years old when she decided to be a Sister. Can you imagine knowing your vocation at 5 years old? At 5 years old she wanted to be like the sisters she knew. She spoke highly of her vocation and earlier in the weekend she said, “I love my vocation”. Just before we were to part ways, as she was telling me her story in front of the ticket taking machines, she said these poignant words,

“I never exchanged my vision.”

When she was 5 she had a “vision” of being a Sister. During her childhood she clung to that “vision”. Now as a woman she clings to this vision in a public commitment--Sisterhood. She has walked a focused path. She never gave up her vision for another vision.

“Exchange” is an unusual word to talk about what I’d call “giving up” one’s vision. Yet “give up” doesn’t include what you “give in to”. “Exchanging”, suggests you give up something for what you are giving in to. When a vision is given up, isn’t it given up for something else? Isn’t it exchanged for something? I think so. At every point of life’s journey we have a choice to “exchange our vision” for another type of vision. For me the idea of "exchange" brings a new picture to light.

Holy Week is upon us. As I continue to think on my Lord, his holy single focused pursuit of pouring out his life for all humanity, I am reminded that he at no point “exchanged his vision”. This Lenten period I’ve become so aware of how important it is that he did not give up--to give in! He would make no exchange. His love is that big. If he would have exchanged his vision, life would be empty, frivolous, hopeless, and pointless. Frankly, life would be lifeless! That he would forge ahead to death so that we could have life!

What is this vision? For Sister Little Flower Teresa it includes her sisterhood. Yet it is so much more. I know it is her single focused walk towards the cross. The vision is the cross. Anything else requires an "exchange".

Our vision is the cross too. May we too not exchange our vision! May we walk his road, the uncomfortable journey to the cross, not giving up and not giving in. The more I realize I want this, the more I realize how hard it is and how easy it would be to give up-to give in!

This vocation which Litter Flower Teresa loves so much must be the 'way of the cross'. It may look like "Sisterhood" but underneath I know her vocation is more about following Christ than anything else. She has not exchanged the vision of the cross right there in front of her and it is shaping her entire life. May it shape ours too.