I’ve been connected to this conversation called “Emergent” for a few years now. On May 3rd near mid-night I’m flying to Dubai and then on to Kampala, Uganda to join in the Emergent conversation for the first time in person. I'm joining the conversation at the Amahoro-Africa Gathering. It is difficult to articulate how I’m feeling. It will be my second time to Africa. I'm different. This time as I prepare I’m feeling humbled. I’m excited yet the excitement is not one of jumping UP and DOWN. Rather it is one of staying DOWN on my knees and connecting with the one who is taking me UP in the air and DOWN to the ground--to Uganda and Rwanda.
I feel like God is so profoundly a part of my going—he is connecting the dots of life experience. I shouldn’t be going to this conference. Who am I? I’m just an English teacher in Korea! Yet something is so right about my going. I know why I wanted to go in the beginning. Yet I get the feeling that God has more that I ever dreamed wrapped up in this. What will unravel? I wonder what I will hear him calling me to be and to do after I return to Korea.
The whole tone of the conference is “right up my alley”. And not because it is how I am but because it is how I want to be. This isn’t the typical conference. It isn’t all about taking in the lectured knowledge from the expert. It is more about relationships, partnership, listening, experiencing and of course connecting. There will be about 200 people. The minority of the group will be from the “west”. The majority will be from Africa.
One of the conference leaders sent out some words of wisdom and preparation. Frankly, for me it is a different way of approaching mission and ministry. It is one I want to embrace. Brian Mc Laren suggested that we gather together “not to preach but to listen”, “not to teach but to learn”, “not to fix but to be fixed”, and “not to convert but be converted”. I often enter mission/ministry from the “preaching, teaching, fixing, converting” perspective. Of course all have their place in ministry. Yet, so often what is needed on my part is “listening, learning, my being fixed and my own conversion”. I’m going to listen and learn from people! How refreshing.
It is all so connected. Looking back to last August I see that God began then to prepare me for my time in Uganda, Rwanda, Korea and beyond. The week before I returned to Korea last summer I watched, “Hotel Rwanda”. That movie left a huge impact on me. I remember reflection on where I was in April to July of 1994. I was a 17 year kid in 1994 who knew nothing of Rwanda or the political climate. In April 1994 when the genocide began my biggest problems were, researching Universities, securing “A’s”, planning my last summer full of basketball camps and begging my father to let me go on my first mission trip. Little did he know what that “first” mission trip would connect to! 800,000 people died in 4 months and we were all clueless.
It is all connected. Last semester I found myself learning about and following from a distance the current crisis in Sudan. Again genocide. Week after week our church prayer team prayed for Sudan. We were only a little better than "clueless". At least we knew of it and could pray. What else could we "do". During that time I learned of the Amahoro-Africa conference.
It is all connected. I have been thinking and learning about “what it means to be human”. God values his creation. He calls it good. He breathes his Spirit into all people. Even within his own, who became less than good; God redeems, recreates and reestablishes goodness. Even his judgment is his mercy. Often God uses his judgment to beckon his own back to call upon himself, again. Christ lived and died to redeem every nook and cranny of human life--even creation itself. Yet I’ve been wondering how it is possible to reconcile extreme poverty, extreme pain, extreme suffering, extreme tragedy, and extreme evil (and the not so extremes of life) with a Christological anthropology that is entirely optimistic.
It is all connected. This winter I visited Auschwitz and faced inhuman humanity and began to see “sin” as a dehumanizing “force”.
It is all connected. At Taize I was challenged with the phrase “the spirit of God is in all people without exception.” Is that true? Or is God’s Spirit only in the confessing believer? That is what I usually think. What if I gave myself permission to not have to answer the question “yes” or “no”? Maybe there was a better question. I began to ask, “what if I choose to live my life from the belief that God’s Spirit is in every human person without exception? I might love more and love better. Maybe that is the point! I might create more space in my life for others who are typically not welcomed. The brothers and sisters at Taize choose to live from the belief that God’s spirit resides in every human person without exception. They practice reconciliation and creates space for reconciliation. What if God is challenging me to be a part of God’s reconciling work in the world?
It is all connected. Going to Italy and spending a few days with the community at Vallechiara--The Fraternity of Jesus. I began to see that living a “fully human” life or a life one-with-Christ is not done a part from community. We are not designed to live out our humanity alone. To be a human person is to be connected! When we do not live out the connections we are somehow less than fully human. If I am to be on the way, becoming fully human, then I must be committed to others and connected to others. I still wonder what that can look like outside the monastery and inside my everyday life—even life here in Korea.
It is all connected. Last week when I read our itinerary for the Rwanda field trip I was bewildered by the fact I’m to be visiting places where human tragedy—genocide—occurred not so long ago. It seems so fitting and incredibly humbling that in an international community we will wrestle with and remember the Rwandan genocide—both those who lost their human life and those who continue to live from that tragedy.
I just wonder. What other connections are coming? God connects people and life experiences so well. He is the master of making connection.
4.23.2007
4.01.2007
Never Exchange the Vision
There is a heavenly place in Korea. It is only a 23 minute bullet train ride away—yet a space marked by serenity rather than hustle and intrusion. I don’t realize how “loud” my life is until I go to this retreat house.
This weekend I returned to the Benedictine retreat house for the first time in 4 months. Sadly, all but one of the Sisters I met before were transfered last month to other places in Korea. Yet, the new sisters welcomed me just as well. I know more Sisters in Korea than I did before!
There were several encounters with the Sisters that I’d consider “God moments”. Yet one today, in the final moments, spoke so strongly. Sister Sew-Wah Teresa (which means “little flower” Teresa) took me to the train station. She too was there to catch a train for a meeting. We chatted in English. WOW! All weekend I had not realized how well she could communicate in English!
Sister Little Flower Teresa's name name suits her. She is a young woman who has been a sister for 16 years. Her countenance is as a beautiful flower and she exudes a delicate humility. It is so clear that she has poured out her heart to Jesus and walked the way of the cross for years.
Little Flower Teresa explained that she was 5 years old when she decided to be a Sister. Can you imagine knowing your vocation at 5 years old? At 5 years old she wanted to be like the sisters she knew. She spoke highly of her vocation and earlier in the weekend she said, “I love my vocation”. Just before we were to part ways, as she was telling me her story in front of the ticket taking machines, she said these poignant words,
“I never exchanged my vision.”
When she was 5 she had a “vision” of being a Sister. During her childhood she clung to that “vision”. Now as a woman she clings to this vision in a public commitment--Sisterhood. She has walked a focused path. She never gave up her vision for another vision.
“Exchange” is an unusual word to talk about what I’d call “giving up” one’s vision. Yet “give up” doesn’t include what you “give in to”. “Exchanging”, suggests you give up something for what you are giving in to. When a vision is given up, isn’t it given up for something else? Isn’t it exchanged for something? I think so. At every point of life’s journey we have a choice to “exchange our vision” for another type of vision. For me the idea of "exchange" brings a new picture to light.
Holy Week is upon us. As I continue to think on my Lord, his holy single focused pursuit of pouring out his life for all humanity, I am reminded that he at no point “exchanged his vision”. This Lenten period I’ve become so aware of how important it is that he did not give up--to give in! He would make no exchange. His love is that big. If he would have exchanged his vision, life would be empty, frivolous, hopeless, and pointless. Frankly, life would be lifeless! That he would forge ahead to death so that we could have life!
What is this vision? For Sister Little Flower Teresa it includes her sisterhood. Yet it is so much more. I know it is her single focused walk towards the cross. The vision is the cross. Anything else requires an "exchange".
Our vision is the cross too. May we too not exchange our vision! May we walk his road, the uncomfortable journey to the cross, not giving up and not giving in. The more I realize I want this, the more I realize how hard it is and how easy it would be to give up-to give in!
This vocation which Litter Flower Teresa loves so much must be the 'way of the cross'. It may look like "Sisterhood" but underneath I know her vocation is more about following Christ than anything else. She has not exchanged the vision of the cross right there in front of her and it is shaping her entire life. May it shape ours too.
This weekend I returned to the Benedictine retreat house for the first time in 4 months. Sadly, all but one of the Sisters I met before were transfered last month to other places in Korea. Yet, the new sisters welcomed me just as well. I know more Sisters in Korea than I did before!
There were several encounters with the Sisters that I’d consider “God moments”. Yet one today, in the final moments, spoke so strongly. Sister Sew-Wah Teresa (which means “little flower” Teresa) took me to the train station. She too was there to catch a train for a meeting. We chatted in English. WOW! All weekend I had not realized how well she could communicate in English!
Sister Little Flower Teresa's name name suits her. She is a young woman who has been a sister for 16 years. Her countenance is as a beautiful flower and she exudes a delicate humility. It is so clear that she has poured out her heart to Jesus and walked the way of the cross for years.
Little Flower Teresa explained that she was 5 years old when she decided to be a Sister. Can you imagine knowing your vocation at 5 years old? At 5 years old she wanted to be like the sisters she knew. She spoke highly of her vocation and earlier in the weekend she said, “I love my vocation”. Just before we were to part ways, as she was telling me her story in front of the ticket taking machines, she said these poignant words,
“I never exchanged my vision.”
When she was 5 she had a “vision” of being a Sister. During her childhood she clung to that “vision”. Now as a woman she clings to this vision in a public commitment--Sisterhood. She has walked a focused path. She never gave up her vision for another vision.
“Exchange” is an unusual word to talk about what I’d call “giving up” one’s vision. Yet “give up” doesn’t include what you “give in to”. “Exchanging”, suggests you give up something for what you are giving in to. When a vision is given up, isn’t it given up for something else? Isn’t it exchanged for something? I think so. At every point of life’s journey we have a choice to “exchange our vision” for another type of vision. For me the idea of "exchange" brings a new picture to light.
Holy Week is upon us. As I continue to think on my Lord, his holy single focused pursuit of pouring out his life for all humanity, I am reminded that he at no point “exchanged his vision”. This Lenten period I’ve become so aware of how important it is that he did not give up--to give in! He would make no exchange. His love is that big. If he would have exchanged his vision, life would be empty, frivolous, hopeless, and pointless. Frankly, life would be lifeless! That he would forge ahead to death so that we could have life!
What is this vision? For Sister Little Flower Teresa it includes her sisterhood. Yet it is so much more. I know it is her single focused walk towards the cross. The vision is the cross. Anything else requires an "exchange".
Our vision is the cross too. May we too not exchange our vision! May we walk his road, the uncomfortable journey to the cross, not giving up and not giving in. The more I realize I want this, the more I realize how hard it is and how easy it would be to give up-to give in!
This vocation which Litter Flower Teresa loves so much must be the 'way of the cross'. It may look like "Sisterhood" but underneath I know her vocation is more about following Christ than anything else. She has not exchanged the vision of the cross right there in front of her and it is shaping her entire life. May it shape ours too.
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