Killing Fields

The stories this person could tell.... The fear, the suffering and desperation.... The families they left behind.... The family members they joined in death... The future taken from them... And for what end?

I swallowed my fear and hired a guy to drive me all over Phnom Pehn today on his motorbike. What an intense thrill. I knew all the risks but admittedly I had a blast. This motorbike thing is growing on me. I insisted that he have a helmet for me. Motorbike drivers in Vietnam always had a helmet for themselves and their passenger. Here it is a luxury for the driver to have one and something of excess to have an extra one for a passenger. When I insisted he asked for a few minutes, he made a phone call, disappeared and reappeared with a helmet. He wanted the work. Dawning a helmet off I went literally putting my life into the hands of a stranger. God help us both but especially him!

At the Killing Fields there are trees, flowers, and pleasant walkways. The peace and quiet of the place betrays its history. The people of the Toul Sleng Prison were taken here to be systematically killed. The system doesn't seem to be nearly as organized as Hitler's but it is just as inhumane. There is a pagoda on the center of the grounds housing the remains of 7000 or so people. As I peered in on the skulls it just didn't seem real. I know in my mind that the skulls represent real people but my heart just couldn't take it in. I felt nothing. I don't know what I expected but I didn't expect to see so many mass grave areas. Everywhere on the grounds the earth slumped from the days when it embraced persons who lost their lives to the Khmer Rouge. You can still see bits of clothing!

(Above: A Memorial Pagoda full of human remains of at least 7000 people. Below: Looking up to the stories of remains inside the pagoda)
(Clothes found in the mass grave were placed in the pagoda's first level)



Tay ended up being a great driver and was pleasant to be around. He was born in 1975 and is only two years older than I. The year of his birth was a year of hell in Cambodia and frankly he is lucky to have life. The year Tay was born all the city dwellers evacuated Phnom Pehn and other larger cities. They were forced into the peasant life and lived as slaves in their own country. After we visited the Killing Field site I went to a cafe owned by a Genocide and Toul Sleng Prison Survivor. While we both took a break from the heavy humidity I sipped a 7 up and Tay sipped his Orange soda. I learned that Tay's family had been moved to the countryside during the Khmer Rouge. He remembers being a very young child with nothing. He said it was such a difficult time for his family. His grandmother died of starvation. He showed me how he'd hide even the smallest amount of food under the lip of his shorts hidden by his t-shirt. I can hardly imagine the plight of his family!

After the Khmer Rough things changed and fortunate for Tay and kids his age he got a basic education. Tay's parents prized education and even had Tay study English. When Tay become of High School age his family sacrificed greatly so that he'd get a high school education. He described leaving home to attend school. His parents lived 55 kilometers from school. So he lived at the Pagoda. "The pagoda?", I asked. He said it as if I'd understood what he meant. When it was obvious I was confused he clarified. "With monks," he said. Tay lived under the care of Monks!

Since Tay's high school was so far from his home he had to move away to live with Buddhist monks. He would go home to get money from his parents and then return to his other home at the pagoda. I asked if students still find refuge with the monks and he affirmed that they do.

What a hard life the people of Cambodia must have. It has been more than 30 years since the genocide but from my tiny view of this place the country doesn't look to be advancing. I think back to the little I know of Rwanda. It looks to me that in 14 years since Rwanda's genocide that the country has done so much more for the people when compared to Cambodia. I wonder why Cambodia has not done as well even after 30 years? Talking to Tay today about his life gave me a tiny insight into his people. They have present day hardships. They live day to day. I thought about rising food and gas prices and now have faces to put to this new crisis. When people are already living day by day, only surviving, the current Global issues are life and death.

I must say I'm ready for some lighter days! Tomorrow I leave for Siem Riep. It is the last city of my S.E. Asian Summer. I'm looking forward to exploring Angkor Wat and finding a nice place to rest and read.